


Mr. Perfect

by miss-m-and-her-writings (macytalbot)



Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom, hiddlestoners
Genre: AU Escort Tom, AU Gigolo Tom - Freeform, Amnesiac OFC, Angst, F/M, Filipino Character, Filipino OFC, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, World Travel, mild violence at the end of the series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-02-06 07:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 65,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12812772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macytalbot/pseuds/miss-m-and-her-writings
Summary: Mr. Tom Hiddleston is an international escort and renowned playboy that has sent London women’s hearts aflutter, and also all the women around the world. He’s charming, sexy , tall, smart, sophisticated and extremely handsome. But with his new client, Julie Rose Trillo, his life will change forever.





	1. The English Escort

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic series first appeared in the Tumblr blog "Tom Hiddleston Frustration" (thfrustration.tumblr.com) and I've finished this last June.
> 
> It's a joy to finally post this here in AO3! :D

                                                    

The morning sun’s glare was now passing through the windows and on his face that made him rub his eyes and stir up.

He felt soft all over; a fair head of a woman was in front of his face; then he finally remembered that the other night, he made another woman satisfied again. He is fully aware that he _is_ not in his flat as the bed felt softer than anything.

 ** _Tom_** could still feel their naked bodies entangled together in an embrace, he placed a kiss on her neck and there she started to stir.

“Good morning, love.” He greeted serenely.

“Oh, _Mr. Hiddleston_! How are you still here? This is out of your character.” She murmured as she started to nibble the lobe of his ear.

With this, Tom kissed back and attacked her with much more kisses to her neck.

“How could I leave you, my Lady? Not when I’m still craving for you.” He endearingly whispered, and this made her grab his shoulders and pin him below her.

Tom was ready, his morning wood hasn’t yet worn off and he wanted one last quickie before he could leave.

But as their bodies was adjusting to foreplay, a loud knock banged over the bedroom door.

“My lady? Are you awake? I have to tell you something my lady– Er, your husband has arrived.”

“Fuck!” The lady cursed as Tom tried to get up from the bed.

“Well that’s my cue.” He joked.

“Wait, I’ll help you get dressed, if he caught you, I don’t know what he’ll do with you.”

Tom cupped her face for a while, “It’s not me we should worry about, dear.”

A smirk appeared on her face, then, “Hurry! You need to get out of here!”

He quickly buttoned his shirt as the Lady was putting on his socks and also his trousers. The butler kept on knocking and saying that her husband was about to arrive in the hallway.

With all of that hustle, Tom managed to wear his jacket and tie, and afterwards, he was all dressed.

“Wait, you can’t go through the door, he’ll see you!” She gasped.

Tom saw the open window, “There are a lot of ways to leave this place, my dear.”

He started to climb on the window sill and stepped down ledge. Tom needed to jump two storeys high or else he would get caught, but luckily, there were enough flowery shrubs to catch him.

Before he could jump, the Lady kissed him goodbye, “How will I pay you?”

“Still the same account, My Lady, I’ll wait for it for 24 hours.” Then he kissed her again, “Just like **_Romeo and Juliet_** , eh, My Lady?”

She giggled as Tom let go of the window bars and with one swift motion, he jumped into the shrubs below. He might have also heard the Lady’s husband barged on to the bedroom but as soon as he had landed carefully, he immediately ran across the field and into the acorn tree where he parked his sports car.

He jumped to his car and started the engine and finally left the estate.

Once again, it was another successful job; another happy housewife or noblewoman, and his bank account is fat with money again.

As he drove fast into the road, Tom sighed. This might never end for him, and that he could do this for the rest of his life. As he thought about it, he doesn't know what other jobs are there for him.

_As long as the pay is good, nothing could go wrong._

—

He climbed on to the stairs as he carried a pizza box and fish and chips on both hands. The pizza is for Ajay and the fish and chips are for him.

 ** _Ajay Ranjit_** has been Tom’s best friend since his academy days. Ajay was a cast-out and an exchange student from New Delhi but Tom came to his rescue to be his friend. Now, he is a telecommunications team leader in a call center agency. He met his now girlfriend, _**Bailey**_ , because she used to be Tom’s client.

Tom fished for his keys on his pocket but Ajay had already opened the door.

“Dude. Where’s my pizza?”

Tom waved the pizza box before him, “Right here, man.”

“Thanks, man. Welcome back, I heard you were almost killed.” Ajay yawned then rubbed his eyes.

“Yes and I had to go through the window and jump two storeys down. But she’s my regular so I couldn’t resist the thrill.” Tom winked.

Tom let himself in the flat and he flopped down on the couch as he munched on his fish and chips. His black cat, _**Rosa**_ **,** came to him to munch on to some chips he gave her.

But Ajay spoke out, “Hey, man? A rich bloke came over yesterday asking about you. He had a cane, I think he has a walking defect, I don’t know. He left his contact number. Here.” Then Ajay flipped the small card towards Tom.

The small calling card fell on his face and as he managed to see the name and number written on it, Tom immediately remembered who it was.

“It’s **_Sir Martin McLeod_**. I know him! I’ve met him on a gala sometime ago, he was with his wife– With whom I have flirted with.”

Tom slowly turned to Ajay, but he only shrugged as a reply to Tom.

“Do you think it’s about his wife? What else did he told you?”

“I don’t know, he says that he’s going to pick you up, around 10am or so…” Ajay nonchalantly opened the box of pizza.

As they both now realized, it was almost 10am on the clock.

Tom finished first his food, dropped Rosa from his lap then got up and opened the windows.

“You said you just climbed down from someone’s window.” Ajay remarked.

“Always a good escape route, my good friend.”

A knock was heard from their door. Tom stopped from going down, “Don’t open it!” he shouted.

“Relax, man, maybe it’s somebody else.” Ajay lazily replied.

Tom was about to chase Ajay so he wouldn’t open the door but he was all too late, when Ajay swung open the door; two men in black suits and blue ties were standing on their doorway. They both looked menacing but Tom quickly deduced that they are Sir McLeod’s personal bodyguards because of the Bluetooth headsets.

“Is this a bad time?” The man with the crooked nose asked Ajay.

“No, man. We’re cool. You want to come in?”

“No need to; we are here for Mr. Hiddleston, Sir McLeod would like to speak to him.”

With his other leg already dangling at the other side of the window, Tom asked aloud, “Is it about his wife? Tell him I’m sorry!”

“No, Mr. Hiddleston, Sir McLeod would like to acquire your services.”

“My what?” Tom blurted out.

“Mr. Hiddleston, please step away from the ledge and come inside. We will only ask you once.”

Tom did as he was told, for once he thought he was safe from jealous husbands of his clients, but for now, he has really done it. Tom stepped out of the window ledge and walked awkwardly towards Ajay and the two bodyguards.

Before coming out of the doorway, Tom straightened his suit and tie, and spoke to Ajay, “Man, if ever something happens to me, tell my parents I lived like a legend.”

Ajay snickered, “Don’t worry, I’ll give you a good elegy.” Tom also snickered anxiously as the man with the crooked nose guided him, “Right this way, Mr. Hiddleston.”

—

In the heart of Westminster City, stands the skyscraper that houses Sir Martin McLeod’s multi-billion company, **_Renovis_** , specializing in multi-media and gadgets manufacturing.

As they arrived into the building, a valet came over to drive their car into parking. Tom felt cold sweat in his forehead as those two hunky bodyguards stood beside him. They lead him inside where a beautiful receptionist greeted them. With no other reply, the bodyguards and went ahead and continued to lead Tom till they got to the elevator. The man pushed the number _28_ in the elevator and finally the steel doors of the elevator closed.

 _I wonder how angry this man is with me that he had his terrifying bodyguards take me away._ Tom thought.

When they reached the 28th floor, only silence and the grey-lit hallway greeted them. The bodyguards lead him to an empty conference room.

When they opened the opaque glass doors, Tom saw a man standing near the whiteboard that is adjacent to a projector.

“Thank you very much, gentlemen.” and Tom was sure it was Sir McLeod who spoke and also the man standing.

Sir McLeod stood tall even though his body is inclining to his left because of his walking defect. He had brown hair and green eyes that made him look like a model rather than a company executive.

The two bodyguards left them alone after Mr. McLeod motioned them to.

“Mr. Tom Hiddleston, a pleasure to meet you again. Have a seat.”

Tom didn’t sat down and he spoke, “Sir McLeod, I’m really sorry, first and foremost, if you are mad at me. I didn’t mean to flirt with your wife.”

Martin laughed and it almost broke the tension, “What? You think this is about my wife? No, Mr. Hiddleston; my wife is not easily beguiled with your boyish charms, and I may be half a cripple but I can still work it, mind you.”

“But your bodyguards said that you need my services, well… I don’t usually do guys but–-“

“It’s not that kind of service that I need from you, Mr. Hiddleston.” Martin replied sternly.

“Oh.” Tom timidly replied.

“Please, have a seat.” Martin pointed out the chair again.

He finally sat down and Martin turned on the projection with the remote control.

A picture of a beautiful girl appeared on the screen, then he spoke, “This is my half-sister, **_Julie Rose Trillo._** She is my mother’s other daughter. Her father is a Filipino businessman from Manila. But set aside our relation to each other, I love her very much, and I treat her with respect even though we are half-siblings… You see, Mr. Hiddleston, J.R. is an amnesiac. She got into a car accident last three years ago.

“But she developed a disease after the accident that is connected with her amnesia, it’s _Samuel’s Disease_. A rare brain disease where the amnesiac develops a tumor in the brain and causes the patient to suffer from changes of memory. She will remember yesterday at one moment then remember the event last year but she couldn’t tell which event she is presently on.”

Tom only listened carefully to Martin, he felt pity at first at what J.R.’s situation is. But he felt that it was such a waste, because J.R. was a real beauty; he could tell simply from her picture; and it looked like she used to be a model.

“So… Where do I come in with this situation?”

“Good question, Mr. Hiddleston.”

Then Martin pressed _next_ at the remote control, and he saw a picture of a man who looks exactly like him.

“Wait! Is that me? But– no… That’s like… Who is that?”

“He is **_Nathan Henderson_** , J. R.’s _late_ boyfriend. He died in the car accident that caused J.R.'s amnesia. He was tailing J.R.’s car when he lost control, then he hit the back of her car. J.R.’s car only crashed into the edge of a cliff, but Nathan’s… He crashed into a oncoming truck and his car was thrown down the cliff.”

As he stared at the picture of Nathan, he can almost see himself, only, Nathan had dark hair while him, he had honey-blonde hair.

“Why was he tailing her car? Was he chasing her?” He gasped.

Martin smiled, “That is when you come in, Mr. Hiddleston. Her therapist said that she is unconsciously keeping the events of her accident undisclosed, like repressing traumatic memories, and that she needs someone that will remind her of the past, that is you.”

“I would remind her what? Should I pretend that I’m Nathan?”

Martin started to walk towards Tom while talking, “To remind her of what really happened and why she and Nathan got into an accident.”

The surprise and confusion in Tom’s face was evident, but Martin continued, “It might come to it that you need to pretend that you are Nathan. But if it will bring J.R.’s memories, I’ll pay you any amount.”

Tom slumped into his chair and sighed. He looked away for a few minutes to think about it. Then his gaze went back to Martin, “How much are you offering?”

Martin pointed out some luggage near the projector, “£30 million… In cash.”

Tom now noticed the luggage and there was nothing more that could blow his mind all over.

“So, how do we do this?”

“By contract, Mr. Hiddleston–”

“Please call me Tom.”

“Okay. Here is the contract.” Then Martin pointed out the brown envelope in front of Tom.

“Inside that envelope contains our contract, you can also suggest any changes if you like. But the length of your service would only take 3 months.”

“I see. Fair enough, Sir McLeod–”

“Call me Martin, please.” Then he held his hand to shake Tom’s.

“Martin. So, when do I start?”

“As soon as possible. Or perhaps tomorrow? Just to set your mind and so you could have time to read the contract.”

Tom nodded with a smile, £30 million is a good price, because it can’t compare to his annual salary of £800,000 that he earns just through escort service.

“That’s good, tomorrow’s good. So where’s J.R.? Is she also here in London?”

“No. She’s in the _**Philippines**_ , she’s staying in ** _Baguio City_**.”

“Oh.” Tom answered quietly.

“Don’t worry, my assistant will schedule a flight for you. And perhaps McCord and Mason can take you to the airport. They’re my trusted bodyguards who escorted you earlier.”

“Oh no need to! I can go to the airport by myself, thanks so much, Martin.” Tom tried not to cringe as he remembered again those two fearsome bodyguards.

“I’m very glad that you accepted this job. Thank you, Tom.” Martin softly replied, the sincerity of his joy was evident from his green eyes.

Tom nodded, “That’s nothing. I’m also glad to be of service.” Martin gestured a goodbye as started to walk away from the conference room and turned his back on Tom, but when he reached the doors of the conference room, he stopped.

“Oh by the way, when I said that I needed your _services_ , it means that I only needed your professional services, but not your _skills_. Do you get me, man?”

Tom answered slowly, “Okay…”

Martin sighed and said, “What I meant is that it’s yourself that is needed, not your _escort service skills_ , do you clearly understand me now?”

“Oh… I do understand!” Tom laughed nervously and he finally got it.

Martin could only sigh as he finally left the room. For a few minutes Tom sat down on his chair and tried to process everything that had just happened. But then, he stood up and turned on again the projector. J.R.’s picture turned out again. He stared at it for a while. He has never someone so beautiful like her, yet so tragic.

He’s used to the tragic parts of his work, the unhappy wives that he made confident again; the rich women who are willing to buy his love, but as he stared in her picture, Tom sighed, “If only… If only you weren’t an amnesiac, I would’ve been so lucky to be hired by you.” Tom mumbled to himself.

Tom then chuckled to brush away some thoughts, “What am I thinking?!” Personal involvement with his clients is what Tom has always avoided, but can he do it this time?


	2. New country, new job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom leaves London and also his comfort zone, and arrives in the Philippines. The cold weather of Baguio City welcomes him, and also Martin, but not his client, yet. However, Tom was determined to help J.R. to remember; but will he ever get to the mystery of J.R.’s repressed memories?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited a few mistakes for this chapter and added other sentences, because; boy, was I a lazy writer in describing things before haha :P  
> Anyways, I just wanted to add that my facescast for Sir Martin McLeod is Matthew Goode, while Ajay Ranjit is Taika Waititi; and also, J.R. is the Filipina actress, Arci Muñoz (With whom I have a girlcrush on *ehem*)

                                                    

He threw anything light that he can carry into his luggage, Tom didn’t wanted to carry something heavy.

“So how much did he pay you?” Ajay lounged around Tom’s mini sofa as he watched his friend pack his things.

“Uhm… A considerable amount.” then he continued on packing.

“I see. How long would you be gone again?”

“Three months. But don’t worry about the rent here, I already paid it.”

Ajay chuckled and smiled at Tom, “He did pay you _a considerable amount_.”

Tom only smiled back and shrugged, “Well, I had to take it. It’s also an interesting type of client.”

“That’s new; I thought you never had any interest with your clients? That it’s _all business_?”

“No, not that kind of _interest_. Help me on this and search for _Julie Rose Trillo_ in the internet.”

“Okay.” Then Ajay took out his phone and opened his browser.

What results appeared next in Ajay’s phone surprised the both of them.

“Check this out, man, that Julie Rose is a model– well she used to be says here.”

Ajay showed Tom the search results, J.R. was indeed a model, she posed for high-end magazines, but she still kept a low profile.

“Listen to this,” Ajay read on in his phone, “Julie Rose Trillo used to be a supermodel; she modeled for Renovis mobile for two years, but before that she was also part of Renovis’ HR Department as an administrative assistant.”

Ajay showed a few photos of J.R. that he found on google. Tom crossed his arms around his chest and inhaled slowly.

“Who is this girl, anyway? Your new prospect after this job?”

“No. She’s my client.”

“What?! You would get to hit this babe?” Ajay blurted out.

Tom shook his head,“No! No! There is no sex involved. It’s purely professional.”

Ajay searched more and showed it to Tom, “She got into an accident three years ago with her boyfriend… Wait, here’s his picture.”

He showed it to Tom, and he saw again how much of a doppelganger he is of Nathan’s.

“Man, why does he look like you? Like you got separated from birth? You sure you don’t have a twin?”

“I’m definitely sure about it. That’s my job; because J.R.’s an amnesiac and I look like her dead boyfriend, I might–I would have to pretend that I am him.”

“Then what?”

“So I could help her remember what really happened the night of their accident. Martin has a speculation that it wasn’t really an accident, I think.”

“So that’s why he paid you £30 million then?”

Tom’s eyes popped as he billowed, “How did you know that?!”

“Oh that was just a guess, man. But you reacted to it, so it’s confirmed.”

“Well, I didn’t really accepted the job just because of the pay, but I want to help her get well. Remember when I told you that someday I might quit escort service and you know, do something useful with my life? Maybe this is it.”

Ajay tapped Tom’s shoulder, “Well then, Godspeed there, my man.”

Tom smiled, and squeezed Ajay’s shoulder, “See you after three months, man. Don’t forget to feed my cat, okay?”

“Pfft, don’t worry about her. After three months we’ll have a new cat rug.” Ajay joked.

“Yeah right. I’m off, man.” Tom then took the strap of his bag but Ajay helped him with his luggage.

Tom stepped outside of his room then out of their flat.

“Take care, man.” Ajay bid goodbye to Tom.

“You too.”

Tom went on his way and Ajay closed the door.

Tom threaded down the stairs with his luggage and bag, and then out of the building. The taxi was already waiting for him to drive him to the airport. As soon as he got inside the taxi, the driver stepped on it and they are on their way.

The other day, Martin's beautiful secretary had sent his passport and ticket and all of his necessary papers.

He had never been to the _Philippines_ but he had always wanted to go there and tour the country's tourist destinations. But now it would finally come true, with the help of his job.

 _I love this job. Well– Just the perks._ He thought to himself.

When they reached the airport, he went on to check in at the receptionist for his flight.

As he was waiting, he started to read his contract.

The contract is 5-pages long and it only states some rules and restrictions that is on the jurisdiction of his nature of work. It is true what Martin said that there would be no sex involved; he was made well aware of that on their first meeting.

Then, when he got to the part of the last term, it said that he isn’t allowed to inflict any verbal, physical or psychological abuse against his client. Tom knows that it’s not part of his job to get attached to his clients but it is also his rule to never inflict any pain or even negative thoughts to his clients.

After a while, the PA announced that his flight is now boarding. Tom hid the contract in his hand-carry and went on.

The moment he was in the tube that leads to the plane, he was imagining what could happen during his job. He had imagined a lot of scenarios that may excite or keep him tense.

Tom had the first class seat, with the courtesy of Martin. He had flown a few times on first class, but nothing really beats it.

He relaxed as the pilot spoke over the PA, until the plane took off into flight.

It would be a long journey to the east, and Tom comfortably placed himself in his seat to prepare for a nap.

Tom is both excited and also nervous; he doesn’t know what would he expect to see there when he finally meets J.R., but he knows that what he is doing will be the right thing to do.

—

He woke up to the turbulence of the plane as it dove down to landing. Tom yawned as he stretched out, shaking the dizziness away.

He arrived at the **_Ninoy Aquino International Airport_** at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Tom proceeded to the baggage carousel to pick up his bag.

The chauffeur that will pick him up has already texted him. It will take him 5 hours more to get to **_Baguio City_**.

After getting his bag, Tom went to the arrival station and there he met with **_Donnie_** , he is the family driver to Martin and the Trillos.

“Good afternoon, Sir!” Donnie cheerfully greeted him as soon as he saw Tom come out of the arrival area.

“Hi, I’m Tom.” He reached for Donnie’s hand to shake it.

“Sir Martin told me about your arrival, sir.” He courteously remarked.

“Thank you.” Tom replied.

“Can I take your bags, sir?”

“Yes, thanks very much.” And Tom handed it all to Donnie.

Donnie lead Tom to the van that was parked not too far away at the arrival area. When they got in, Tom sat shotgun while his bags were at the back; he also saw some groceries at the back of the van, and it must be for their supplies.

“So how long is our travel time?” Tom asked.

“Uhm about five hours, sir.”

Tom cringed when he heard again that Donnie called him _sir_.

“You don’t have to call me _sir_ , you know.”

“Oh I’m sorry. It’s just that whenever I am taking my employers for a drive I still call them _sir_ or _ma'am_.”

Tom tapped Donnie’s shoulder, “Hey, we both have the same employer, you can call me by my name, just call me _Tom_.”

Donnie smiled, “Okay, Tom.”

He started the engine and then their van drove out of the airport. It would be already dark when they arrive in Baguio City. Tom would just have to endure another 5 hours of travel.

—

Tom and Donnie shared a lot of stories about themselves. He found out that Donnie is already married with four kids; his wife  ** _Anna_** , used to work at the Trillos' residence. Tom also shared his experience of being in the escort service which surprised Donnie.

“I've had a lot of clients, and made friends out of them, too.” Tom remarked as his gaze was just forward.

Then, Donnie asked, "How old are your clients?"

Tom had a smirk on his face, "Some are between 30 to 40... Well, 40 to 50."

Donnie's eyebrows raised and his mouth was left open with surprise. "They still got it? Those--40 to 50?"

Now, they both laughed out loud while Donnie wiggled his eyebrows now at Tom.

When they settled down, Donnie had another question, “So how about your personal life? Do you have a girlfriend?”

Tom stared out into the darken dusk when he heard that question. He hasn’t had a serious girlfriend or a relationship for five years now, just random flings and of course, his clients.

“Actually, no.” He sighed as he placed his elbow in the car window.

“Why?”

He sunk on the seat before answering Donnie, “I don’t know… It’s hard to keep a serious relationship when you are in this line of work. So I guess my relationships are with the clients that hire me.”

“That’s sad.”

“Yeah I know. That’s what my best friend also told me.” Tom sighed again.

For a while they became quiet. Tom felt tired as the endless road went on in front of them. It was almost 7 o'clock and they are already in Baguio City. J.R.’s home is a few kilometers away from town; a secluded part between the mountains. That’s why they use the van as a means of transport to get through the elevated roads.

They talked more but when they passed the town proper, that is where the roads started to get more elevated.

When they got into a much darker road, Tom saw an entrance leading to an exclusive village.

They entered through the village gate and the security guard made them pass.

There was a hint of excitement within Tom, because he would now get to meet J.R. in person. He is just a little nervous on what to do the moment he would meet her. Perhaps she would easily recognize him as Nathan, and not as another person.

And that’s the part where is thinking on how to react for himself.

_How would I handle it? Should I say that I'm Nathan? Or I'm Tom?_

He could only lean back at the car seat and he heaved out a heavy sigh.

Donnie continued driving and Tom saw all the other houses; all of them are up above the hills and steep staircases. But the houses there were grandly designed and decorated. It was indeed only for the elite who wants isolation from the busy professional world.

When they reached the end of the road, Donnie turned left and finally they arrived at their gate.

The large gate with a wooden motif opened for them. Their van went inside and Donnie went for the garage that was at the farther corner of the large yard with tall pine trees all around.

When Donnie finished parking, he stopped the engine. “Here we are. We will walk up from here and to the house.”

They both got down the van and some of the helpers took the groceries from the back of the van, while Tom insisted on carrying his own bags.

He can see the house was also standing on higher ground, but from there he could examine the design of the house, as if it just came out of a posh home magazine.

They started to climb on the steep staircase, and Tom, trying to fight the jet lag and his tiredness, stepped and carried on.

He can hear the helpers talk to each other and so does Donnie, but he couldn’t speak _Tagalog_ (common Filipino dialect) or even _Ilokano_ (Dialect used in Baguio) to understand them.

When they finally arrived at the yard of the three-storey house, Tom saw a man standing at the front; he immediately recognized the man and his cane.

“Martin? You’re here too?” Tom tried to heave out his words.

“I’m sorry I didn’t got to tell you before we last saw each other that I’m also visiting J.R.”

“Oh, I see.” Tom dropped his bag when he got closer to Martin.

“And there are some more reminders that I needed to tell you that’s why I’m here.”

Tom squeezed his shoulder that was aching because if the weight of his bag and luggage, “You could’ve told me that when you hired me.”

“You haven’t signed the contract then, and these reminders are too sensitive to be shared.”

“You mean you trust me now that I’ve signed the contract?”

Martin smirked, “Something like that.”

Martin handed out two hardbound notebooks to Tom. “This is J.R.’s journals. She wrote them when Nathan was still alive. Use them as your reference on J.R.’s relationship with Nathan.“

“Reference?” Tom remarked as Martin handed him the heavily bound and thick journals.

“The therapist said that she would also get to remember things if she would reenact it or do it again, hence, this is your reference.”

“Very well. Thanks for this.” Tom caught his breath.

“I will be also staying here for two days. I haven’t seen her for three months.” Tom only nodded in reply, then Martin saw Donnie.

They spoke to each other in Ilokano, and Tom was surprised that Martin knows the dialect. Donnie seems happy to see Martin again, and so does his employer. Even though Tom couldn’t understand, he knows that Martin is asking about J.R.

Then after a while, a woman came out of the large front door. Tom almost held his breath because he thought it was J.R., but she was well dressed and her hair was styled also.

“Oh, here she is. Tom, meet **_Macky_** , she is J.R.’s caregiver. And a long time friend of our family.”

 _She’s a caregiver? Well I’d wish I was a patient too._ Tom thought as he saw Macky approach them, and she was obviously attractive with her short and skimpy blue dress.

“Hello, I’m Macky.” She softly greeted Tom and shook his hand. Macky is Filipina, based on her features; Tom can tell she is an educated caregiver given her accent while she spoke English.

“Nice to meet you, Macky. So, when I’ll be meeting J.R.?” Tom spoke up happily but Martin shot a glance at Macky then to Tom, “She’s not feeling well tonight, maybe tomorrow. We’ve sedated her because her migraines are getting worse.”

“I see.” Tom had his brows slightly furrowed.

“But no need to worry about it, she’s going to be fine.” Macky softly rejoiced.

“So, Donnie will help you with your bags.” Martin motioned to Donnie to come over.

“Oh sure.” Tom then looked back at Donnie who already had his luggage.

Donnie came over to pick up Tom’s heavy luggage, “This way, Tom.” And Tom followed Donnie into the house.

When they were gone, Macky spoke to Martin, “Sir… Is he the guy?”

“Yes. He’s the one.”

“Do you think he’ll be able to help J.R. with her memories?”

“Let’s hope so, Macky. And I’m counting on it.”

—

When Tom was done arranging his clothes on the drawers, he finally sat on his bed and turned on the bed lamp. The guest room was just suitable for him, but he still feels the homesickness that he is having for London.

It’s almost the same weather, but he misses his cat, his bed and everything else. Tom also misses Ajay too. However, Tom shook his head and he took out his planner. This planner had been his most important tool in his work, it has helped him note the things he needed to do or to remember for his clients. But for J.R., he bought a new one to mark his new path in this kind of job.

After writing his name on his new journal, he now started to read J.R.’s journal; he opened the journal dated February 2013, then he read the first entry;

_Journal Entry #1 A new journal, a new destination. Nathan and I arrived here in the Palawan local airport– Nathan said that he has a surprise for me, I don’t know what it is.–_

Tom read on and on through J.R.’s journals. J.R. met Nathan when he modeled for a men’s magazine, and he was the photographer. She said in her journal that he was the only man in that room and in that day that was kind and polite to her, and so she noticed him.

He read the part where they started dating; Nathan immediately introduced her to his parents.

And they traveled a lot; every tourist destination in the Philippines; also in Paris, Belgium, India, Macau, Morocco, and even in the Sahara desert.

J.R. was happy with her life, and she was happier by Nathan’s side. But as Tom read near the last pages of her last journal; dated August 2013, Nathan was beginning to act distant towards her. Something had changed in Nathan, and she was afraid it was something for worse.

When Tom got to the last page, the last entry was dated on August 19, 2013. Suddenly he remembered that J.R.’s accident took place around that time. There he read that Nathan had been gone for days.

They were already living together here in Baguio; J.R. wrote that Nathan seemed to be having homesickness and he was more distant.

But when Tom finally got to the last page, J.R. never finished the last journal entry.

He sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Well I always knew it wouldn’t be this easy.”

Tom started to write on his planner, with the blooming hope in his heart and the excitement of meeting J.R. for tomorrow in his mind.


	3. The Client

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom had prepared himself to meet J.R., but everything will go out of the expected. But he is determined that he will still finish this job.

                                                   

He felt his arm was a little bit wet because of his drool. Tom had fallen asleep on his table, and as he stirred; Tom felt the sting of his shoulder where he had placed his head all night.

But when he saw his planner, he had completed the list he was writing the night before.

It was the list where he and J.R. would go; to refresh and bring back her memories.

Tom chose the place where there was something memorable had happened between J.R. and Nathan. First on his list was ** _El Nido, Palawan_**. It is a province in the western region of the Philippines, which is a tourist destination also. It is where Nathan gave J.R. a jeweled charm bracelet.

The next one on his list was **_Paris_** ; the place where J.R. did a photo shoot for a fashion magazine, and Nathan came with her as her personal photographer.

Then the third on his list was in **_Sahara desert_** ; this is where Nathan brought J.R. to photograph the stars in a place where there is no light pollution.

Then the last one on his list was the **_pink house_** J.R. mentioned in her journal. She didn’t wrote where or what was the pink house, but it said that it is where they visited J.R.’s mother, **_Cassandra Bellegardé-McLeod_**.

Determined to start the day, Tom washed his face and put on some decent clothes. He will be meeting J.R today and he wanted to be presentable as possible.

When he got out of his room, he noticed that it was only 6 o'clock, but he could smell the breakfast being cooked in the kitchen. But he was startled when he saw Macky approach him out of nowhere.

“Oh you’re awake now, Mr. McLeod wants to see you. He’s in the patio.” She courteously spoke.

Tom only got to nod as a reply, as he can see, there was something in Macky’s eyes as she smiled. He knows that she’s attracted to him, modesty aside, it has been always like this for him.

He went ahead and saw the large living room that bridges the house and the patio.

He saw Martin sitting on the glass chair while sipping a fruit juice.

“Oh, good morning, Tom. Mimosa?” Martin offered.

“No, Thank you… It’s too early for me.”

Martin shrugged, but Tom sat adjacent to him.

“Where’s J.R., if you don’t mind me asking.” Tom politely inquired.

“She’s picking strawberries with **_Manang* Belen_** , our resident cook here. We’ll meet her there, come.”

Martin stood up swiftly with the help of his cane. Tom wanted to help him but he thinks that Martin wouldn’t take it as a sign of help but as a sign of pity.

They stepped out of the patio and into the open yard of Bermuda grass; after the large area of that fine grass came the coarse and wilder fields where blade grass grows. There was a clean trail that leads to the strawberry fields at the back of the house.

While walking, Martin spoke to Tom, “Tom, there’s something I have to tell you before you meet J.R.”

“Yes?” He leaned on to listen to him.

“J.R. she’s… She’s 24 years old now. But because of her illness–” Martin trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“What? What is it?”

Martin faced him, “She has the mind of a 7 year old because of her illness.”

Tom’s eyes popped out with surprise, but he tried to compose himself and said, “Then... What should I do?” he replied but Martin could see the confusion in Tom’s eyes.

Martin placed a hand on his shoulder, “I want you to be patient with her. Please.”

Tom looked away and down at his feet. It might take him a lot more patience and determination to do this job.

“I’ll do my best, Martin.” He smiled at the man.

“Then let’s go meet her.”

They walked for a few meters more and when they reached the clearing that leads to the strawberry fields, they stopped and observed the farmers picking strawberries and other crops that were grown in the field. Martin then pointed out an old lady followed by a younger one.

“That’s her, the one beside Manang Belen.”

Tom held his breath when he finally saw her. She was wearing a yellow dress that shows her legs, but she was wrapped in a thick cardigan, but her hair were braided in pigtails and to top it off was a yellow hairband.

When she turned their way, the joy bled out of her face and she immediately ran to them.

“Martin! Martin!” she shouted while running towards them.

She tripped once while running and Tom was ready to help her, but she kept on running and when she reached Martin, she immediately embraced her brother.

“I missed you, **_kuya!**_** ” J.R. squealed.

“I missed you too, J.R.” Martin whispered, then, “Look, there’s someone here.”

When J.R. turned, she was wide-eyed and blushing. Tom tried to say something, but he was too dumbfounded.

“Nathan? Is that you?” She slowly spoke.

“I-I’m–” Tom glanced at Martin but he nodded, letting him tell who he really is.

“I’m Tom. Tom Hiddleston.” He tried to smile as he tried to shake her hand.

“No. You’re my Nathan.” She mumbled.

And out of a sudden, J.R. embraced Tom tightly; Tom was caught off guard.

He could feel the very frame of J.R.’s body embracing him. She had a terrific body, he could tell, but what distracted him the most is the way J.R. was holding him tight. As if it was the embrace he had been waiting for, all his life. Her embrace felt so good, he didn’t want to let go.

But suddenly, J.R. looked up to him with tears on her eyes, “But why did you left me, Nathan? I-I waited for you! Why did you went back home to London? Didn’t you want me anymore!?”

This time, Tom was alarmed, J.R. was rambling and crying. She was saying things that Tom couldn’t understand.

Then, J.R. was pounding his chest, she was growing angrier by the minute. Martin reached out to J.R. to calm her and take her off of Tom, only, after a few moments, J.R. screamed out loud, holding her head with both palms.

“Macky! Call Macky!” Martin ordered at Tom.

Martin held his sister in a fetal position and cooed her, but her migraines would not go away.

Tom ran as fast as he can back to the mansion, he saw that Macky was on her way too, with the medical kit.

“Macky!” Tom exclaimed when he saw her.

When they met paths, “I know!" then she pulled him by the arm, "Come with me, we’ll need your help too.”

Tom accompanied Macky where Martin and J.R. are. When they arrived, J.R. was still screaming with pain. Macky prepared the syringe and the bottle of sedative.

“Hold her still.” She calmly spoke as Tom and Martin held J.R. even though she was squirming.

Macky wrapped the rubber band on J.R.’s upper arm and she traced the vein. There, Macky administered the sedative and after a few moments, J.R. calmed down until she lost consciousness.

“Is that all right? Is she all right?” Tom worriedly sighed.

“It’s her normal response to the sedatives.” Macky replied.

“Tom, will you carry J.R. back to the house and her room, please?” Martin spoke.

Martin sounded like he was trying not to choke with tears. Tom only nodded in reply and he carried J.R..

She was just small for him, only reaching the level of his chin, and she was not that heavy.

He carefully placed J.R. into his arms and carried her. She felt lifeless in his arms, but her face looked like she was a sleeping beauty ready to be kissed.

When they got inside the house, Macky assisted Tom into J.R.’s room. Her room was on the 2nd floor, near the room that Martin uses when he is visiting.

As Tom entered the room, he first lay J.R. on the bed, while Macky arranged the pillows around J.R.

Tom heaved a sigh when he saw that J.R. is tucked in.

“Thanks. For carrying her.” Macky spoke.

“Well, I couldn’t let Martin do it.” Tom joked.

Macky smiled and giggle a little, but Tom’s attention went to the large photos in canvass that are pinned to the wall, it was all J.R. Tom could see Nathan’s initial ‘N.H.’ as its watermark.

In that picture, she was wearing a classical Filipiñana; her hair was styled neatly, but what completed the picture was her smile. Nathan knew how to capture J.R.’s smile.

Tom couldn’t help but swoon over the portrait, that Macky needed to poke him to bring him back his head from the clouds.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah. I’m okay.” Tom replied with a smile.

Macky smiled and looked back at the portrait, “Julie’s really beautiful, isn’t she? She always gets those kind of looks since we were high school.”

“Oh. You grew up with her?” Tom said.

“Yep. Ms. Cassandra took me in when she came in Manila with her new husband, **_Mr. Robert Trillo_**. I was a street child back then… But she gave me a new life when I got here.”

Tom could only smile on how generous J.R.’s mother had been to her.

“Well, enough of me, what’s your story?” she pointed out to him.

He hesitated to speak of what his previous work was, but Tom told anyway, “I’m a gigolo; I'm on the escort service.. Well, I used to be.”

Macky’s mouth opened wide with shock, “No way?”

“I’m not even kidding.” Tom laughed nervously.

“Well that’s interesting.” Macky remarked.

But after a few moments, she found herself staring at Tom. “You look so much like him… Like Nathan, I mean.”

“I always get that here.” Tom coyly replied.

“Julie’s so lucky; she lost her boyfriend but she got a replacement too.” Macky muttered while looking away.

“No! I’m not Nathan’s replacement–”

“I know. I know that.” She interrupted. “I mean, I’m just rhetorically speaking.”

“You seem to have so many praises for J.R.” Tom’s brow furrowed a little bit as he spoke.

Macky folded her arms across her chest, “She’s like my sister. I adore her the way everybody else does. I like how beautiful she is, just like how anybody else does.”

But Tom pinched lightly her chin, “You’re beautiful, too, don’t you know that? Just like the way she is.”

Macky’s eyes twinkled and her cheeks blushed, “You do think so?” She sighed.

“Yes. Every girl should be told how beautiful they are.” Tom teased.

Her smile disappeared for a while and she brushed away a wild strand of her hair on her shoulder. But a smirk appeared on her face, “Oh, how classical, isn’t it?”

With, that, she left the room. Tom didn’t knew how to react to what Macky just said. He doesn’t know if she was being sarcastic or what.

But he shrugged and there he found himself looking at J.R. again.

Her braided hair was neatly placed on her pillow which makes her look like she is a princess gently sleeping on her bed.

Tom never thought that J.R. would be much more beautiful in person. She was what they call _mestiza_ , half-Filipino and half-British. Her skin was creamy and porcelain; her cheeks and lips were pinkish.

He is trying to hold himself from kissing J.R.’s lips and cheeks. He had to or he might lose his job.

Tom backed away from the bed and let J.R. sleep. He slowly closed the door behind him and went downstairs. When he got to the ground floor, he saw Martin standing outside the patio, but the white see-though curtain was on the way.

“Martin?” Tom called out for him.

When he got beside Martin, he can see that Martin was wiping his eyes from his tears.

Martin sniffled and smoothed his shirt, “Did you know, Tom, that when I was 12 years old-- I was diagnosed with polio?"

Tom shook his head, but Martin continued, "I hated the whole world when I was 12. My father was so disappointed, he wanted me to be a star player or something of an athlete. My mother--well she had J.R.. But I also hated J.R. back then... But the first time I saw her; she was just 4 years old, but she was like... Like an old person.

"She knew how to talk to me, how to encourage me; She taught me how to be brave, strong, and cheerful. And there I knew she would always be there for me. But now, she's like this... I just--"

Then he broke down crying. Martin was about to fall down because he slipped out of his cane, but Tom managed to catch him.

It was the first time Tom saw a man cry this much. He loves J.R. so much, Martin was willing to do anything to heal her and make her remember again Tom made Martin sit down; Martin took out his handkerchief.

"I'm sorry you had to see this." Martin muttered as he wiped his eyes and brow.

Tom sat adjacently to Martin, "It's nothing. Hey, sometimes we just have to cry, but that doesn't mean that we are weak."

Martin blew his nose and composed himself. "Thank you, Tom." Martin was a little bit teary-eyed but he smiled at him.

Tom could only smile back. He also wiped a tear away from his eye, sometimes he just couldn’t help but relate to a person’s vulnerable emotion when it’s already showing.

Martin then sat back on his glass chair and inhaled slowly, there Tom remembered the list he had on his planner.

“You know what? I have this list-- places. Places where I can take J.R. to refresh her memory. To reenact it again, what she did with Nathan when he was still alive.”

“Where is your list?” Martin turned to him.

“It’s in my planner I left in my room. Wait here while I go and get it.”

Tom hurriedly went back to his room to get his planner. When he got to the patio, he opened the fresh pages of the planner and showed Martin his list.

“Here it is.” Tom giddily presented it to Martin.

He took the planner and read the places Tom has put on his list. Martin started to have a smile stretch across his face; he approves of the places Tom has chosen to refresh J.R.’s memories with.

“Uhm, there’s just one thing, where’s the pink house?” Tom politely interrupted.

“I’ll tell you where it is after you’ve gone to this places.” Martin smiled and closed the planner.

“Okay.” Tom nodded and Martin handed him the planner.

He tucked the planner under his arm, then Martin started to talk again, “The expenses that these travels would cost-- I’ll take care of it. Just ask always, and I’ll let my assistant arranged it all.”

“But-- Isn’t that supposed to be deducted from what you’ve paid me?” Tom spoke, thinking about the high cost it would actually take for them to get to the places he had just listed.

“No. It’s all on me. Besides, J.R. is going with you; I am his guardian for now and whatever expense it may take, it will be on me.”

“Thank  you, Martin.”

But Martin leaned over and said, “No, Tom-- _Thank you_. The first time I met you I never knew you could be like this. Even though you have that kind of job, I never knew it’s already natural to you to make people happy-- in any way it may cost you.”

Tom looked down smiling, feeling flattered of what Martin just said, “Well, I guess I’ve done that since I was an escort. With my job here, it’s still the same path, _service--_ but I think that I’m also doing the better thing than before.”

“Do not doubt it, Tom. You are doing the better job.” Martin remarked.

“Thanks.” Tom softly spoke.

“When do you think you’ll start with the travelling?”

With a soft gleam in Tom’s eyes, he responded, “Why not right away? Like, tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow’s good. _As soon as possible_ is good.”

For a while, Tom had asked himself if he is really going the right path now in his life, but never did he get a _no_ from his instincts. He felt that what he is doing is right. For once, he had found a work where he can truly make someone happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Manang (from Ilokano dialect) is translated to "Older Woman/Sister"  
> **Kuya (from Tagalog) is translated to "Older Brother"


	4. The Palawan Getaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the getaway they have been waiting for; and the heat is on. Tom and J.R. are inseparable (which mildly annoys Martin.) But can he keep up with the act or will he let his feelings take him away?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I edited a few grammar errors and mistakes in some scenes; but all in all, it's good :D Thanks so much for the guests/users that have left kudos not just here for Mr. Perfect but for some of my works too :D

_“J.R.? Wake up, it’s time to go.”_

Martin softly spoke as he was trying to wake J.R. up. It was already dawn, and all of their bags are packed and ready for El Nido. He was coming with them to Palawan, and so is Macky just to make sure that J.R. could be monitored with her migraines.

Finally, J.R. stirred and Martin instructed her that they need to hurry and that she needs to get dressed.

“It’s still night, kuya… Just a few more minutes…” She murmured.

Then Martin looked back at Tom who was leaning on the doorway.

“Would you carry her, Tom? Please?”

Tom nodded in reply and walked towards the bed. He carefully placed his hand under J.R.’s back and legs as he tried to carry her slowly. He was beginning to have the hang of carrying J.R. as he can also feel her body close to him. When she was finally in his arms, he tried not to think of anything else or Martin might notice him.

Tom carefully walked down the stairs while J.R. was on his arm, while Martin and Macky followed them.

The other helpers opened the doors for them as they got out of the house. Outside, the service van was waiting for them. The skies were beginning to light up; the clouds are slowly turning from dark-purple to light indigo and the sun was rising in the horizon.

Donnie slid open the door of the van, and there Tom laid J.R. down in the seat. She rubbed her eyes and yawned like a baby, which made him smile so much.

“Aww.” He sighed, but his moment was cut off when Martin came up behind him.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you going to take a seat?” Martin asked, then Tom’s smile dropped as soon as he saw Martin’s slightly-grumpy face.

“I was about to.” Tom timidly replied.

Martin’s expression already made Tom move and take a seat behind J.R.’s. Martin sat next to J.R. and he made her lean against his shoulder as she is still asleep. Macky followed and she sat beside Tom.

Their journey started after Donnie had drove out of the garage. They started to move out, and Tom now noticed that the place looked better in daylight; the high pine trees made him feel like he is in a European forest.

The van drove down the elevated roads near the cliffs. The atmosphere inside the van was quiet, and Tom tried to get distracted from the view outside his window. When they reached the intersection that splits the road, Tom saw a wrecked part of the railing of the road. He saw that Martin was looking at it too, but the man flinched and looked away.

“Martin?” Tom called out, but Martin knew what he was going to ask, “I just had to look away.”

Tom turned his gaze towards Macky but she just shrugged, then Martin spoke again, “That is the spot where J.R.’s car hit. I do wonder why the local government never fixed that damn dent.”

The van went ahead in the road, Donnie was chatting with Martin in Ilokano, and Tom and Macky dared not to join the conversation; because both of them don’t know how to speak it.

“Don’t you speak that dialect?” Tom asked Macky.

“No. I grew up in Manila, so I only speak Tagalog.” She replied indifferently.

That time, Tom stopped asking; everyone else was too grumpy or serious to be talked to. From Baguio City, they traveled to **_Pampanga CIty_** ; where **_Clark International Airport_** is.

They had a stopover once, when J.R. finally woke up. All of them had breakfast in a fast food chain, and J.R., of course, ordered the kiddie meal with a toy.

But as Tom noticed while they are eating, some customers were looking at J.R., while talking to each other. It must be that they noticed the way she acts, and that annoyed him a little bit. Martin can see it, but he ignored it anyway.

Around 10am, they arrived at the airport. Donnie assisted them with their baggage; Martin secured their check-in, and all they have to do is  wait for their 12nn flight.

“This is where I go back, sir.” Donnie remarked after he had settled their baggage near them.

All the four of them were now sitting in the departure lounge, and they are just waiting for the announcement of their flight.

“Take care, Donnie. We’ll be back in two days.” Martin replied kindly.

“Take care too, sir.” and Donnie bid goodbye to them.

To pass the time, J.R. asked Macky to play a game with her . While Tom was busy writing some things on his planner, and Martin had his nose on his book. But something was on Tom’s mind that he wanted to ask Martin. Good thing, Macky and J.R. were sitting a row away from them.

Tom sat beside Martin, and he tried to look casual so he can ask his question, “What are you reading?”

Martin looked up and faced Tom, now sitting beside him, “A novel.”

“Oh. What’s the title?”

“ _Winds of winter_. By George R. R. Martin. I think you’ve heard of the TV series.”

“Well… I don’t watch it.” Tom cringed but still trying to sound as politely as possible.

“Too bad.” Then Martin came back to reading the book.

An awkward silence came over them, but Martin was starting to wonder what Tom is trying to do; he inhaled sharply and spoke, “Is there something you want to ask me, Tom?”

“I-I just wanted to ask how… How does J.R. remember you, Nathan or some of her memories?”

This time, Martin placed the bookmark on the page and closed it, “You noticed too, didn’t you? Well, her doctor and also her therapist said that J.R. could remember her childhood, me, Nathan and everything else– but not the–”

There Martin paused, then he spoke again, “Not the horrible things that had happened to her all throughout her life.”

“Do you think she’s repressing those memories?”

“Maybe, maybe not. We could never know.”

“Is this trip going to help her?” Tom asked, worried.

Martin sighed, “Let’s hope so.”

Then out of nowhere, three stewardesses approached J.R. and they were smiling and flailing.

“Hi, are you Julie Rose Trillo? The model?” the tall one asked.

J.R. smiled and said, “Yes. But you can call me J.R., that’s what my Mama calls me.”

Macky waved a hand towards Tom and Martin as if she is asking for help; there, Martin stood up and went near J.R. and the stewardesses.

“Can we ask you to take a picture with us, please? You've been my idol ever since you modeled for Renovis mobile.” The stewardess, with braces on her teeth, gushed.

“Sure.” J.R. replied while smiling.

The three of them took a selfie with J.R., then the two other took a separate picture of J.R. Tom was trying to think if he would panic or let Martin handle the situation if the stewardesses didn’t leave J.R. alone.

After their picture-taking, the stewardesses left with their luggage on their hand. They must have just landed from a flight.

Martin sat beside J.R., and she was giggling and waving goodbye to the stewardesses, then she looked up to her brother, “Kuya, who are they? They said I was a model. Was I a model?”

Tom went near them as he heard Martin's response to her question, “Yes you were.”

“What’s a model?” Her eyes were inquisitive as she waited for Martin’s answer.

But Tom answered, “Someone who’s very beautiful.”

A wide smiled spread across her face and she blushed, “Nathan… You think I’m very beautiful?”

Tom breathed in and said, “You’re gorgeous, J.R..”

Martin raised an eyebrow at Tom and there he stopped talking. He was beginning to notice Tom with his nice compliments and the way his eyes twinkle when he looks at J.R..

Suddenly, they heard the announcement of their flight in the PA.

“We have to go guys, our plane’s here.” Martin stood up with his cane, and he took J.R.’s hand.

“Yay! We’re going swimming!” She cheered.

—

_Bump!_

Tom woke up as he felt his forehead bump at the plane’s window. He rubbed it as he could still feel the sore spot in it. But all the pain went away when he saw the view from below, the crystal-blue waters of Palawan and the white shores of the islands.

It only took them an hour to get to El Nido from Clark Airport, and they are fast approaching El Nido Airport.

The moment they landed, Tom could feel the anticipation and the excitement making his heart beat louder than before. But moreover, J.R. was the life of the group, and she was more excited than anybody else.

After they got out of the airport, a rented transport van was waiting for them to take them to the harbor for a two-hour ferry boat ride to where they are going; **_Pasandigan Cove._**

That time, J.R. had asked Tom inflate her doughnut shaped swim ring, that at the end, Tom got a sore jaw for inflating the ring.

J.R. had been energetic all the way their travel, which makes Martin smile every now and then. But little did he know, Tom couldn't just peel his eyes off of J.R.. The way she laughs with him, her touch that incites an electric feeling in him, and every gaze and stares she gives him; makes Tom feel more intoxicated.

For a moment, Tom wondered if he’s just feeling this way because he had to act as if he is Nathan, or is it his personal feelings budding?

When they arrived at the harbor, they rode a large ferry boat to get to Pasandigan Cove. J.R. was a little afraid at first, but with Tom’s help, she got herself to ride the ferry.

There Martin remarked to Macky, a little bit annoyed, “Quite the gentleman, is he?”

“I don’t know anything about that, Mr. McLeod.” Macky joked.

It took them two hours to get to the cove. But all the while, J.R. slept on Tom’s shoulder, where she felt safe. It didn’t matter to Tom if his arm numbed, but he can feel the bliss with J.R. by his side.

It was all too much for Tom; the vast view of the beautiful oceans and islands, the sea mist touching their faces; the beautiful and gullible creature sleeping and leaning against him; it was like how he fantasized his dream honeymoon with the girl he would marry someday.

But the fact that J.R. is actually his client, holds him down to the bleak reality; and also that he and J.R. cannot be. Even if he is undeniably attracted to her, he couldn’t just take advantage of J.R.’s weakness as of now.

And also, Martin wouldn’t like it if he knew that he has breached his contract, or more, if he fell in love with J.R.

They arrived at the cove at 3 o’clock in the afternoon; the sun was glaring and the pure and fine white sand touched their feet felt like just heaven to Tom.

Martin had the half of cove rented privately, just for them, so no one can interfere with them during their stay. The face of the cliffs were lined with tropical trees all around. Tall coconut trees greeted them, and the smell of the sea filtered their noses.

J.R. immediately ran around, shouting happily when she got down the ferry boat. Tom and the driver of the ferry boat took the baggage to the small cottage that they are to stay on for two days.

Macky brought her own baggage and a few of the stored food they have prepared. The cottage that they are going to stay at had two rooms and two bathrooms. The tropic motif and rural vibe of the cottage made him remember the trip he had in the Bahamas with a client once. But this is different.

When Tom was free of his baggage, he volunteered to set up the barbecue, just to get his mind off of things. That time, J.R. had asked Macky to change with their bikinis so they could swim already.

Meanwhile, Martin was setting up the table; he wanted J.R. to have lunch first before swimming in the water. Tom had placed the charcoal under the grill and he poured the oil to make fire.

“Martin, where’s the barbecue? The fire’s going now.” He asked.

He pointed out a clear food container on the bamboo table that contains the marinated pork and chicken. Tom picked it up and placed the barbecue on the fire. He tended to it, fanning the flames of the charcoal, when Macky came out of the cottage, already wearing her maroon two-piece bikini.

There Tom knew she intended to wear that for him, he could read it all over on her body language. He couldn’t help but stare at her body; she had medium-sized breasts but her hips were well-rounded.

Tom then remembered that he had not sex for a week, and down under, was well aware of it.

He gulped, thinking, _She intended this, I can tell. Damn, she’s making me want it.  
_

Then, they heard J.R. singing _Itsy BItysy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka-dots Bikini_ when she came out of the cottage, but was still wrapped in her large towel.

“Martin! Martin! I wore Mama’s bikini!” She giggled, but Martin could only snicker.

After a few moments, J.R. threw the towel away, and there, Tom’s eyes popped with amazement.

J.R. wore a red string bikini which complemented her skin. But what made Tom stare out was that the bikini revealed her cleavage and well-endowed breast; especially her perfectly curved body, but her hair completed it all, it was wavy and sexy; as if she just came out of a sultry photo shoot of a men’s magazine. He had to close his open mouth when J.R. approached him.

“Do you like it, Nathan?” She said as she turned around.

“Oh yeah. You’re perfect… Just–” He breathlessly replied, but he saw that Martin was eyeing him.

“Well, it’s beautiful.” Tom replied quickly.

Then the fire crackled in the grill, that Tom got burned by the hot embers of the charcoal.

Martin snorted and so did Macky who was actually watching Tom’s reaction to J.R.’s bikini.

“Race me to the water, Nathan?” J.R. encouraged.

“No, we have eat lunch first, Julie.” Martin ordered, as he is the father-figure of the group.

J.R. pouted but she went back to the bamboo table and sat beside. When the barbecue was cooked, Tom had put it out of the grill and into the plates. Everything was almost set, the plates, utensils and their glasses were filled.

“Macky, come on, lunch's ready.” Martin motioned to Macky to come over to the bamboo table. She had just finished throwing away the paper towels used to wipe the bamboo table.

J.R. sat on Martin’s left side, who was sitting at the head of the table; while Tom and Macky sat at his right. 

“J.R., please, say grace.” Martin endearingly pointed out to his sister. J.R. then closed her eyes and steepled her fingers, “Lord, bless this food that we are about to receive, In Jesus’ name I pray… Amen.”

“Let’s eat.” Martin encouraged. They all picked up the utensils and began to eat. Their snacks were barbecue, potato salad that Manang Belen prepared; tortilla chips drizzled with Parmesan cheese and ground beef; and beer for the three of them but orange juice for J.R. As they ate, they exchanged little conversations to each other.

Tom and Macky remarked to themselves how divine was the potato salad, Martin would join in their conversation every once in a while, but J.R. was looking far away in the waves of the sea. She watched as the water turned into a beautiful cone in the horizon, but only to crash in a splatter on the shores. 

She thought, _How pretty._

J.R. watched as she ate her snack, and she wasn’t hearing what they were talking about; but what she could hear in her mind was a loud thunder of crashes, over and over again. 

“J.R.? Honey, are you all right?” Macky waved her hand at J.R. to catch her attention. 

 "I’m all right, Mac. Kuya, where’s Mama?“ She turned to Martin. 

For a while, Martin stopped eating and tried to reply, "Mama? Mom? She’s– She’s in her home, the pink house. Don’t you remember?" 

"Where is that?” She whispered. Tom could see that Martin was beginning to be distressed. J.R. was obviously asking something he doesn’t want to answer. 

“I’ll tell you later, luv. How about this? You can go into the water.” Martin replied, smiling.

 "But Kuya, I just ate!“ J.R. exclaimed. 

"It’s all right, Tom can go with you.”

Tom’s eyes bulged and he threw an amused look at Martin. But he only cocked his head to the side and there Tom got what he meant.

“Sure, I’ll go with J.R.” He replied.

“What’s his name again?” J.R. suddenly asked. 

“His name is Tom, dear.” Macky interrupted. J.R. only shrugged and stood up,

“Come on then!” she shouted out happily.

Martin nodded at Tom, and the next thing he knew, J.R. had taken his arm and they were running in the hot sands of the shore, burning their bare feet but making them laugh out loud. 

“J.R., wait! Damn! It’s really hot!” Tom laughed as he ran with her. 

J.R. could only giggle, but when they reached the water, they felt the cold and soothing feeling of the sea, and underneath their feet was the soft and grainy sand. 

Tom couldn’t quite figure it out how J.R. managed to pull him further into the shores. But with her hands in his arms, he is just like a kite and J.R. has the control of the strings, yet he is willing to be pulled away. Her laughs and the way she gets surprised by the seaweeds that touches her legs, were music to his ears.

Little by little, Tom was letting himself go. In every smile, laugh, words, motions, and meaningful gazes that J.R. gives him, makes him slowly let go of his restraints; those restraints that he and J.R. could never be.

Then, J.R. splashed water all over him that made him cover up with his arms, but as J.R. went towards him, she slipped on a rock, and so she fell towards Tom. But he was ready to catch her. 

When her body leaned on Tom’s, he felt her very skin; the curves of her body, her breasts, and her arms. 

Tom tried not to breathe as he saw her enchanting brown eyes, look through his eyes. 

For a while, the world stopped spinning for them, as if they are just the only two people in the world. Tom pulled J.R. to stand upright, but she spoke out, “Nathan, why haven’t you kissed me yet?" 

He froze in his ground, and he blanked for a moment. Tom knows that Martin is watching, and if he would give in to what she might want, it might be as well the end of his job. 

"I-I…” He mumbled. 

“Kiss me, Tom.” She alluringly whispered.

He felt his chest beat louder in every minute that J.R. was waiting, but it got louder when she looked up to him and puckered her beautiful and soft lips, ready for his own. 

 _No! You better fucking not do it!_  He thought. 

Then he stammeringly said, “Uhm, I think we better get back– we haven’t put sunblock yet, it would be bad for our skin." 

 He immediately broke their entangled arms and he pulled her gently back to the shores. 

 _That was close_. He internally sighed. 

 But J.R. was too dumbfounded to react on why he didn’t wanted to kiss her. 

Tom started to walk away, if he could punch himself right now, he could’ve jabbed his jaw so hard so he could wake up that this is not some romance novel where he would get the girl. J.R. is his client, he is the hired man for the job. _  
_

_You’re just some escort, you git… She’s way out of your league._

Tom bit his lip so hard, it might have bled. Then he heard J.R.’s splattering steps in the water, coming closer to him. 

"Wait up, Nathan!” But when he stopped, he remembered what she called him before she asked him to kiss her. She called him by his name.

He gasped and held J.R.’s arms, "J.R., do you remember who I am?“

J.R.’s forehead furrowed, “Who you are?”

“Yes, do you know my name? Do you remember my name?”

Tom was anticipating her answer to be _Yes_  but as he held his breath, J.R. answered.

“You’re my Nathan.” She answered serenely, with her eyes twinkling..

He sighed and let go of her arms. He thought that it would be that easy, for her memories to come back; but he remembered, once J.R. remembers, his job is done. His connection with J.R. is done.

“Come on, we have to get back to the cottage.”

“Okay.” She mumbled, then she took Tom’s hand.

—

It was already 5 o’clock in the afternoon but the sun was still burning in the sky, but it was ready to set off to the west and take a rest for the night.

Martin took a seat in the recliner to rest his leg, while Macky slept inside with J.R. in the cottage. Tom sat in a curved trunk of a coconut, trying to take a nap, but his head kept falling over the edge of the trunk,

He stopped trying to get a nap, instead he recalled in his mind the way he held J.R. and the way she looked at him. Tom has never felt this way before towards a client.

He had promised that he wouldn’t fall for a client. Tom knew so well what are the consequences of mixing his profession with his personal life.

But as Tom lay his head to the side, he thought, _What do I really feel for her?_

It’s no brainer that he’s attracted to J.R., but is he _falling in love_ with her? He groaned as he sat up in the coconut trunk; the last time he fell in love with a client, he almost died under the sword of a Sheik. But Tom doesn’t want that to happen again. His life might not be put to danger this time, but he could just break J.R.’s heart.

_But what about my heart? Should I be worried for it?  
_

Tom let his mind wander, but for a while, he let himself think about J.R. and their moment that was destroyed because he was too chicken to admit that he is actually crazy for her.

But as he was daydreaming all to himself, he didn’t noticed that J.R. has changed to another bikini, and she was tiptoeing into the shores, ready to swim all by herself.

 _Just another one._ She thought, with the sliest smile on her face.

She was sure that she had put on sunblock on her skin just like her Mama always say, but she isn’t sure if she did really said that.

J.R. saw Tom once as he was half-awake and sitting in the curved coconut trunk, but she just shrugged and continued to walk to the water.

The blue waters of the sea was enticing enough for J.R. to go swimming again. But she knows that Martin wouldn’t let her swim alone, but she is a big girl now, and she is sure that she would be careful when swimming.

 _Is the ocean sweet? That’s why it’s blue?_   The thoughts ran again and again in her mind as her feet sank in the wet sand, and while she was getting nearer towards the shore.

When her feet touched the water, she splattered it with her hands, dancing around because for her at that moment, there were no rules.

 _I want to get to the waves!_ She thought.

J.R. heaved through the dense hold of the water as she walked towards the rolling waves. She just wanted to see what was inside the waves, and why do they break down when they reach the shoals.

That time, the deepest part of the shore was on her waist because it was a low tide at that time of the day. But what she didn’t noticed, the water from the open sea was slowly coming back.

Meanwhile, Martin just woke up with a heavy feeling in his chest. He must have been sleeping with his chin on his chest.

He popped out his head from the recliner to see if Macky and J.R. are still inside the cottage. From his view, he could see Macky’s legs dangling from the hammock, but he tried to find J.R.’s.

But as his eyes searched, he only saw Macky’s. The heavy feeling in his chest became his heart, pumping loud with terror.

He stood up with the help of his cane, “J.R.? Julie! Are you inside?” He belted.

Only Macky responded to his call as she woke and got up from the hammock, “Mr. McLeod? What’s the problem? J.R.’s not here.”

Martin’s eyes widened with fear, “Didn’t you saw her? Why did you let her leave?”

“I was napping, how could I know?” She replied.

Then Martin looked back into the ocean and he saw J.R. in the water and she was too far away now.

“Tom! Tom, wake up!” He shouted as he half-ran towards Tom who was now asleep in the coconut trunk.

“Huh? What is it?” Tom was startled and he almost fell from the tree.

“J.R.’s in the water and she’s getting farther from the shallow part. Please, will you take her back here.” Martin requested, as he tried to speak straight.

Tom looked back at the sea and there he saw J.R., wearing a yellow bikini, but she was too far and she was heading to the big waves that are forming in the horizon.

He didn’t hesitate for another minute, Tom ran into the water and started to swim to J.R. who was now too far away. The waves were beginning to strengthen because the high tide was coming back.

“J.R.! Come back here!” Tom yelled but it seems that she could not hear him.

 _Pretty blue waves. I do wonder what’s inside?_ J.R. thought.

As innocent as she is, she could never know what could happen once she’s caught inside the angry rolling waves.

“Julie! Stop! Come back here!” Tom called out as he tried to swim. His feet got caught once in a rough edge of a coral, but he kept going as J.R. had gone too far and near the waves.

When J.R. reached the part where the waves form, she stopped. She stared at the water as it began to rise, like it was running then going high, turning into a cone.

But as she looked at it, inside her mind eye, she was seeing something else. It was all dark and raining--the wiper of her windshield was washing away the rain, but her tears were blurring her vision.

She was choking with tears, her hand was gripping the wheel, hard, and she could taste the blood on her mouth as she had bit her lip too hard.

_He wouldn’t do that to me._

An echo whispered in J.R.’s ears, but she wasn’t sure if that was her own voice, or is it just the wind that got into her ear.

In one swift moment, the waves got bigger, ready to swallow her whole; only in her mind, she saw the railing of the road that her car was ready to crash into.

_Nathan, why?_

It all felt like in slow motion; She felt a hard jerk behind her car, and there she hit the railing and into the face of the oncoming cliff; at the same time, the waves had rolled out and it had engulfed her, and she was sure that the waves are not letting her go.

Her mind blanked as her screams churned under the saltwater.

“J.R.!” Tom screamed as he saw the wave swallow J.R.

She tumbled in and out of the water, and she felt her lungs fill with the salty taste of the sea.

And all of there is for her was darkness.

Tom swam faster to get to J.R.; his heart beating erratically as he feared he might see her floating, belly down, on the water.

But as the wave calmed down and flowed towards the shore, he saw J.R. floating face up in the water.

“J.R! Answer me!” Tom called out to her. This time, Tom was running even though the dense feeling of the water was holding down his legs.

J.R. floated towards Tom, he reached for her arm and when he did, she coughed out the water and her eyes were wide and frantic.

“Julie Rose… Don’t you ever do that again, please.” Tom’s voice quaked as he gently handled her into his arms.

“I crashed… I crashed into the railing. I saw it. I saw it in my mind.” She whispered.

“What are you trying to say, baby? Please.” Tom now carried J.R. and made her lean into his shoulder.

“I-I… I didn’t saw the car behind me– I just crashed.” And her voice started to choke and turn to sobs.

His eyes were wide with shock. Has J.R. finally remembered the event of her accident?

Will his job be finished quickly after all?


	5. A Flicker of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all have just come back from El Nido and hasn’t been a good trip for all of them. As J.R. can now slowly remember the night of her accident, it is when she loses it all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fun fact, the character Dr. Nacino here, I took his name from the Filipino actor "Rocco Nacino". This chapter contains a little bit angst and conversations; and a "hint", watch out for it. Happy reading, dearies :D

                                                   

The mist that covers the tall and bushy pine trees made the atmosphere of the outside look like they are traveling through a haunted forest. Tom shuddered at the thought, but he felt the chill on his spine as the A/C of the van was beginning to get colder.

As soon as Tom had saved J.R. from the waves that almost had eaten her alive, Martin called the ferry boat from the harbor to take them back to the town proper.

Martin didn’t wanted for them to stay longer in the cove. He knew they needed to get home immediately.

There was a little bit of regret in Tom as he had hoped to have stayed for a day more in El Nido; to swim more into the sea and create more special moments with J.R.. But he had no choice, Martin’s the boss and if he wanted to have a helicopter to transport them back to Baguio City; Tom was sure he would have done it.

They were nearly approaching the exclusive village, and they are almost home. The grey skies of the dusk gave out only dull and sad feelings on everybody.

 _Why is everything so grim?_ Tom thought.

Suddenly, Martin’s phone rang. He answered the call while J.R. was leaning against his shoulder.

“Yes? This is McLeod… Oh, that’s good, Doctor.” He replied, the person on the other line talked more with Martin for the next few minutes.

“Make yourself comfortable, Doc. We’re almost there. Yes– See you later. Bye.” and there he ended the call.

“Was that **_Dr. Nacino_**?” Macky asked.

Martin only nodded in reply and then he looked away into the darkening sky.

Tom leaned on to Macky to whisper, “Who’s Dr. Nacino?”

She answered quietly, “J.R.’s therapist.”

He only nodded as he understood and Tom didn’t spoke again. It would take him an hour more until he can speak again as he had fallen asleep after a while of staring out at the white spot of clouds that were slowly disappearing.

—

Tom’s eyes fluttered open when they finally arrived home. Donnie had just parked the van and a helper slid opened the door in front of Martin and J.R.

“J.R., luv, we’re here. Come on, Dr. Nacino is waiting for us upstairs.”

“He is?” J.R. replied, still rubbing her eyes.

“Yes. and he wants to talk to you about what you saw.”

“Okay.” She yawned as a reply.

They started to get off of the van; Martin was first, and he stood up with the help of his cane, then when J.R. finally got out, they walked together to the steps that leads to the house.

Tom was the last to get off, and Macky was just in front of him.

He felt exhausted; his legs still felt numb and the cut he got on his foot from the sharp corals were still fresh that his foot aches in every step. But he could still remember the panic when he thought that J.R. had drowned after the wave swallowed her whole.

He thought he was going to lose her, and he felt so terrified. Tom had never lost someone in his life, but he wasn’t sure why he was so afraid at that time. Maybe it’s just the way our mind reacts when there is a life in peril. However, it wasn’t just _someone’s_ life that was in danger, it was J.R.’s.

And there Tom couldn’t understand why was he so worried for her. The answers were not appearing for him, and so he brushed his hair with his hand in frustration.

Tom mindlessly climbed the steps and tried not to trip because of his aching feet and legs.

When they got into the yard of the house, they saw a man sitting in the porch bench. He was dressed with a white long-sleeved shirt, to which he folded near his elbows. He looked like a professional and he was also handsome.

“Dr. Nacino! Thank you for waiting.” Martin called out to the man and he stood up from the bench to greet them.

“Mr. McLeod, you’re welcome. So, how’s our J.R.?” He turned to J.R. who was holding her brother’s arm.

“I almost drowned.” J.R. cryptically replied.

Dr. Nacino let out a nervous chuckled, “Well, your brother told me you remembered something.”

J.R. didn’t said anything, but Martin motioned for all of them to talk all about it inside the house. Nobody said anything as they got inside the house, it might have been that all the four of them were too tired to even talk.

When they got into the living room, Dr. Nacino sat adjacently to J.R. and Martin, while Tom stood near the wide windows and Macky sat in an isolated small sofa near Martin.

“I’m sorry for calling you out in a short notice, Doctor.”

“No, it’s all right. Think of me as the family doctor, Mr. McLeod.” Dr. Nacino replied with a smile.

Tom observed the young doctor, he seemed to smile more whenever he was looking at J.R. He can see that J.R.’s charms doesn’t just work on him, but to everyone else also.

“Now, is it okay if I start we a start a session tonight?” Dr. Nacino asked Martin.

“It’s okay for me. I just– If you can make J.R. recall what she saw before she almost drowned.” Martin replied with agitation.

Dr. Nacino only nodded, and there, Martin kissed J.R.’s hand as he stood up and made her lie down in the sofa. The young doctor stood near J.R. and he had a pocket watch ready.

“J.R., my dear, I want you to close your eyes.”

Tom went beside Macky and asked her, “What is he going to do?”

“Hypnotism. It’s a part of his sessions with J.R.”

Dr. Nacino instructed some things to J.R. to which she obeyed, then as he glanced on his pocket watch, he snapped his fingers and J.R. was now in a sleeping trance.

“Now tell me, J.R., what did you do?”

J.R.’s brows were furrowed and her eyes shut close, then she groaned, “I went into the water… I wanted to- to swim again.”

Dr. Nacino now knelt down before J.R. so he could hear her better.

“Then? After that?”

“It was dark in my mind… It was raining… I-I was crying.”

He licked his lips and spoke again, “Why were you crying, in your mind? Where were you then?”

Tom folded his arms on his chest and felt anxious as he can see J.R. in the state of hypnotism.

“I was driving… I was–” J.R. spoke out, but she started to mumble things, Dr. Nacino could see that she was losing the memory.

“J.R., what happened? You were driving, then—”

She kept mumbling something inaudible, until she started to sob and cry.

“J.R.? Julie?” Dr. Nacino tried to talk to her but then, she started to hold her head. Her migraines were manifesting again.

Tom tried to do something, but he was frozen in his position, but he could feel the fear in his heart. Martin stood at J.R.’s feet, and he was trying to calm her down. But Macky stood up, “It’s her migraines again! I’m getting the sedatives.”

But Dr. Nacino shouted, “Sedatives?! Are you sure that you should administer medicine to a patient who is in the middle of hypnotism? Are you even a real nurse!?”

Macky stepped back and gave dirty looks at Dr. Nacino who was at that time now turned to J.R. and he spoke something to calm J.R. down.

“In three counts, you are going to wake up. One… Two… Three.”

J.R.’s eyes flung open and she was breathing heavily.

“My head hurts… Kinda.” She muttered.

Martin sighed and held J.R.’s hand. But Dr. Nacino spoke to her, “J.R., don’t you remember anything? You told them that you remembered something.”

“Remember what, Doctor?” She confusedly replied.

Dr. Nacino looked down, “She looks tired, Mr. McLeod. Please, I think that’s all for tonight.”

Martin didn’t spoke any word but he carefully took J.R. and accompanied her to her room to make her rest.

Macky stormed out of the room and went to her room. Tom and Dr. Nacino could tell that her pride was wounded. Dr. Nacino could only sneer quietly before Macky’s dramatic exit.

Then Dr. Nacino turned to Tom who was now standing all alone in the corner, “Wait… You can’t be Nathan Henderson?”

Tom straightened up and said, “No. I’m not Nathan. I’m Tom by the way.” And he held out his hand for a handshake.

“ ** _Dr. Ralph Nacino_** , nice to meet you, Tom–?”

“Hiddleston.” Tom replied abruptly.

Dr. Nacino stood up and he was a foot shorter than Tom.

“So, Mr. Hiddleston, how did you end up all the way down here in Baguio City?”

Tom bit his lip for a while, “I’m under Martin’s employment. I’m here to–”

“To make Ms.Trillo remember again? I know that, I suggested that to Mr. McLeod but I didn’t know he would  really do it just so his sister could remember again.”

Dr. Nacino started to look for his satchel. But when he turned to look at Tom again, he quietly shuddered, “You really look like Nathan. If he was alive, you two could look like twins.”

Then he found his satchel at the back of the sofa.

“How do you know Nathan?”

Dr. Nacino looked up to Tom, “I have a file in my office that belongs to Ms.Trillo. Mr. Henderson’s photo is in there. Ms.Trillo has been my patient for three years, and I have all the time to look at her dead boyfriend’s picture.”

The doctor sat again in the sofa, he could see in Tom that he wanted to know more.

“So, are you a psychiatrist?” Tom asked.

“No, not really. I am a therapist, but I have practiced as a neurosurgeon before. I was Ms. Trillo’s doctor then.”

But there was something Tom wanted to know, “So you knew J.R. back then? Or just when you became her doctor?”

Dr. Nacino flashed a sly smile, “Even if I’m not a psychiatrist, I can tell from your behavior that you want to know if I have a crush on Ms. Trillo… And you are not mistaken with your thoughts..”

Tom mumbled out, abashedly, but Dr. Nacino replied, “I know, I know. Ms. Trillo is very attractive. If you’d been her doctor for the first two years while she was in coma… You get to look at her angelic face everyday.”

Tom couldn’t find the words to say to Dr. Nacino. But the doctor snickered then he nudged Tom, “Am I starting to sound like a creep?”

“Well–a little. But, what you just said… J.R. was in a coma?”

“Yes, she was in a coma for two years. She just woke up earlier this year, and the effects on her were not good.”

Tom figured out that Dr. Nacino meant about J.R.’s migraines.

“And now she’s being taken care by that amateur nurse and that fumbling neurosurgeon that replaced me.” Dr. Nacino cursed under his breath.

“Why do you say that Macky is an _amateur_?”

The doctor slowly shook his head in disdain, “She’d just finished med school after Ms.Trillo woke up from her coma, and Mr. McLeod thought that she’s an appropriate caregiver to Ms.Trillo just because she was like family.”

Tom understood that Dr. Nacino is not comfortable with Macky.

Meanwhile, Martin had already tucked J.R. in. He brushed away a wild strand of her hair away from her face as she closed her eyes to sleep.

Before J.R.’s accident, Martin had actually forgotten about her. After they got separated because of boarding schools and J.R.’s return to the Philippines; Martin and J.R. grew apart for years.

And Martin resented J.R. for this, especially when she didn’t attended his wedding to his wife, **_Sandra_** , because she was finishing her last year in college.

But when Martin learned the news that J.R. had gone into an indefinite comma, it had made him reach out again to his sister; the only person he looked up to because of her strength and optimism. Somehow, he felt responsible for all of this; that it was his fault.

Martin found himself sobbing and teary-eyed with these thoughts.

“I’m sorry I didn’t kept my promise… I’m sorry I let Mom down.” He whispered.

Martin tried to compose himself as he heard his phone had received a message.

He unlocked it and he saw Sandra’s text. It was about their son.

—-

“You’re a what?” Dr. Nacino asked aloud.

“An escort… A gigolo.” Tom answered.

“No way.” Dr. Nacino replied with a nudge to Tom.

“Yes way.” He reassured the doctor.

“So, how is it to– to have _clients_?”

Tom scratched the back of his head, “Uhm… It’s exciting, actually, at first, then, if you’re a sensible person; you’ll find out it’s not all fun and games.”

“I see.” Dr. Nacino mumbled as an answer. Their chit-chat was then interrupted when they heard Martin slowly come down the stairs with the help of his cane.

“Mr. McLeod.” Dr. Nacino courteously acknowledge Martin's presence.

“How is she, Martin?” Tom asked.

When Martin got down the last step of the staircase, he went near them.

“She is fine. She’s asleep now.” He quietly replied.

“May I just suggest that you replace Ms. Trillo’s nurse?” Dr.Nacino spoke out, not caring if it will offend Martin.

“Ralph, you know I can’t do that.” Martin replied with the authoritative tone that they all recognize when he means what he says.

“Okay.” Dr. Nacino ducked his head as if to shield himself from Martin’s darting green eyes.

But Martin leaned on his cane and spoke, “But there are other news; I’m going back to London. The day after tomorrow.”

Tom gasp and Dr. Nacino looked up to Martin. “My son, he’s got chicken pox. I know I’ve missed J.R. so much but… Jack needs me. My wife can’t take care of him alone.” Martin said benevolently with a smile on his face. As if to cover his true emotions about the issue.

“That is understandable, Mr. McLeod.” Dr. Nacino comforted Martin.

Then Martin threw his gaze at Tom, “That means that– Tom, where’s your next destination on your planner?”

Tom scurried to get his planner out of his back pocket.  He opened his planner, “Paris. It’s Paris.”

“I don’t think I would be able to come with you in Paris. So, you two will be going alone.”

Tom’s brows furrowed, “Us two? Macky won’t be coming with us?”

Martin shrugged, “I guess the meds can be laid off for a while, not a big issue.”

In fact, Martin is lying. No one knows what would happen to J.R. without her medicine intake, it could either make her migraines worse or better.

“But, just us two?” Tom asked again.

Martin went near Tom and squeezed his shoulder, “Do you think just because you used to be an escort, means that I don’t trust you?”

Tom gave out a nervous laugh. It must be a compliment from Martin, he thought.

“So, Dr. Nacino, it’s nice to see you again. Should I write you a check or just like the same?”

“Still the other option is better, Mr. McLeod. It’s my pleasure to serve.” Then he shook Martin’s hand.

“So don’t you want to stay for a scotch? Brandy?” Martin offered the young doctor.

“Oh no, I have to go, actually. I have to make ward rounds in _Ilocos Med-Center_.” He courteously declined.

“Busy as always.” Martin chuckled

“So, call me, or Tom here, can call me if there’s any problem with Ms. Trillo.” He tapped Tom’s shoulder and took his hand to shake it, but he pulled Tom to whisper, “I’m jealous. Lover’s city, huh?”

Tom shoved Dr. Nacino gently away and was still laughing nervously.  “Okay, alright, goodbye, doc.” Tom sounded more like he is urging the doctor to leave rather than bidding goodbye.

Dr. Nacino only laughed and Martin could see the rapport that two had made out with each other. The young doctor left after a while.

Martin and Tom stayed for a moment in the living room.

“Are you really sure, Martin?” Tom whispered.

He slowly turned to Tom, “I’m definitely sure. You know, before _that swimming incident_ happened– I have never seen J.R. so energetic, but only when she was with you. And look, she even remembered something. She might have lost that memory, but there was a result. You are making her happy, Tom.”

Tom felt his cheeks blush, and he couldn’t explain why. To hear that he is making J.R. happy brings delight to his heart. Just like the way one want to make the person that he loves most, happy.

“Thank you. I didn’t know that.” Tom quietly replied while repressing a smile.

“You didn’t know you were doing a good job?” Martin rejoiced.

They both chuckled, and Martin lead Tom to the kitchen for something to drink.

 —

“What? What do you mean by that?!” Tom heard a woman speaking over the phone in the dark hallway that leads to the back door.

Even though he might have a few glasses of brandy, he can tell that it was Macky.

“Lobotomy? Are you even a real doctor?!” Then she pressed the screen of her phone so hard to end the call, the screen could’ve broke.

As Tom saw it, she might have wanted to throw her phone away. But then she heard Tom’s hand scratch the wall, clutching it as if to steady himself.

“Tom! You scared me!” She gasped.

“Who were you talking to?” Tom felt like he was slurring his words but he really wasn’t.

Macky didn’t spoke for a while, but she was trying to find her words.

“J.R.’s neurosurgeon, Dr. Cameron. He was– suggesting things. I told him that J.R. could remember some of her memory but what he only said is that J.R. has no chance of getting better.” She said it all under her breath, and Tom felt a tinge of pity for her.

“Aw, are you worried for J.R.?” Tom's now sloshed out of his mouth and he tried to hold out his arms for Macky.

“Yes, I’m afraid that J.R. won’t get her memories back.” and she pouted sadly and reached for Tom’s arms.

But her pitiful rambling changed to a more sultry eyelash batting.

“Say, Tom, are you drunk?” She huskily sang to him.

Tom looked up to remember how many glasses of brandy he just drank before, “I might be– I don’t know.”

But, he felt that Macky’s hands were beginning to wander from his arms to his chest.“How about I take you back to my room, so you could _rest_ …. Then I’ll do the rest?”

Then she winked at him. Her slight hand then went down the buckles of Tom’s belt.

“Ah, wait! I’m not that drunk, Macky.” Tom tried to take her hands off as he finally woke up from his drunken state.

“Come on, Tom. I’ve seen you look at me especially when we were in El Nido. It’s not just J.R.’s bikini that you were looking at, isn’t it?”

Tom was now nervous as he wanted to get off of Macky’s tentacle-like grips.

“Well, you are attractive– It’s no secret to you or anybody else.” Tom politely remarked.

“But what is it? Don’t you want to?” Macky’s voice seemed to be a melody to Tom’s ears. She sounded like she is yearning to have him lying on her bed tonight. _  
_

_Don’t even think about it! You have to be professional!_ His thoughts screamed at him.

Suddenly, Tom managed to get Macky’s hands off and he slowly backed away, “Uhm, I think I’ll have to pass. Goodnight, Macky.”

Tom quickly dashed off of the corridor and walked briskly back to his room. _  
_

_Whew! That’s a close one._ He thought as he entered his bedroom.

He immediately threw his body into his bed. The strain of his muscles and his light-drunkenness state has made him tired to the bones. But he could still see in his mind eye Macky’s begging eyes, but then it was replaced with J.R.’s sweet and blissful smile.

“Women. Either will make you sane or downright mad.” He whispered, until his eyes finally fluttered close to a deep sleep.


	6. Fall in love if you dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their next destination is set, and it only awaits for them. Tom is highly tensed on how he will handle the situation of going alone with J.R. in the most romantic city in the world. Will he lose his grip and let go of what he truly feels for J.R.?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My facecast for OFC Alex Quan is Elodie Yung, because she looks so badass and beautiful at the same time :P I corrected some sentences that before seemed to go nowhere haha :P

                                                   

“Let’s do it again!” She almost shouted.

Tom scratched the back of his head, he was already losing to J.R. with the video game. But actually, he has made J.R. win for the last 5 games they had played. He did this not because J.R. is mentally challenged in her state, but because he likes the look on her face whenever she’s winning.

They were playing _Marvel Vs. Capcom_ in the PS4. Tom didn’t even know that this game still exists. But J.R. was completely enthralled with it as she uses Chun Li, Guile, and Cammy; while Tom uses Thor, Spiderman and Captain America. And for the 3rd time, Tom lost to J.R.

“CO-CO-COMBOOOO!.” J.R. wrestled Tom, taking his head under her arm.

It was a surprise for Tom that even though he towers J.R. in height, she was stronger than him. But still, he had no complains with what J.R. is doing.

J.R. finally let Tom go and they were laughing out loud all over the living room.

Then J.R. slumped over the floor and looked up at Tom, “Nathan, you used to be better than me, what happened to that?”

Tom only smiled for a while. Their blissful moment was shortlived as once again, J.R. mentioned Nathan’s name.

Sometimes Tom wonder if she ever remembers him as Nathan, or does she even know that he is not Nathan.

“Nah. You’re just better at it, darling.” He remarked.

And out nowhere, J.R. crawled over and laid down her head on his lap. Tom tried to breathe in or else he might just lose it with J.R. giving him those looks.

At the dinning table next to the living room, Martin sat as he was reading Winds of Winter. But he could see them from across the living room and he can see how well Tom is bonding with J.R.

Then he heard the kettle whistle, Macky immediately turned it off.

“Tea, Mr. McLeod?” She offered.

Martin spoke through as he was reading, “You know you can just call me Martin.”

Macky smiled, “Now, where’s my respect if I did that.”

“It makes me feel old. And now you’re just talking about respect.” Martin complained.

She just smiled and placed the teabags on the cups. Macky then poured the fresh hot water and let the tea seep. Then they both observed Tom and J.R. as they continued playing.

“Julie’s so at eased with him, isn’t she?”

Martin had to put down his book to answer, “Yes. Don’t you think that’s good?”

Macky shrugged as she sat down, “Well, he’s not Nathan.”

“That’s the idea, Macky. That’s what he was hired for. To bring back J.R.’s  memories, and that he may have to pretend he is Nathan.”

She smiled and got the teacups. Macky placed a teacup in front of Martin.

“Do you think that this is a terrible idea? Are you implying that I have taken a wrong decision?” Martin replied, the tone of his voice was hard.

For a while, Macky didn’t got to speak. But she straightened up on her seat, then started, “No. It’s a good one. But a little bit false and unfair to J.R.’s side.”

Martin placed his hands on the table, “There was no other way.”

Once again, Tom and J.R. were shouting and laughing at each other while the other was winning.

Martin turned to Macky, “Do you want to come with them to Paris tomorrow?”

Macky could hear from Martin’s tone that he means another thing with his words.

“When you say that, are you really asking me for my opinion or do you want to hear from me what _you_ really want to hear?”

Martin froze, Macky might have lacked the right academic intelligence, but she was as coy and witty as any street urchin. She did get that he was doing her a reverse psychology.

“I think she’s getting better with Tom. I don’t think she needs more of those sedatives.” Martin replied calmly and then he took a sip from his cup.

There was a sort of glare in Macky’s eyes when Martin said that, but once Martin darted his look on her, Macky was smiling. “Hm maybe. I think she is getting better– Even though J.R. just met him. Well, if ever they need me, I’ll follow them up there.” Macky then took a sip from her cup.

But Martin knows when Macky is being sarcastic or not. And she is, just right then.

Martin saw the clock strike 10, it was time for J.R. to get into bed.

“J.R., time for bed!” Martin called out.

“What? Kuya, just another game, please?” J.R. begged softly.

Martin stood up with his cane and went over to them. “We have a big day tomorrow, we need to get ready for it.” He encouraged.

J.R. pouted but she asked, “Can Nathan come, kuya?”

“Yes. He’s going with us.” Martin nodded.

J.R. threw her arms up and rejoiced. Tom couldn’t help but be infected with her happiness.

“Now, be a good girl, J.R.. Time for bed.”

But J.R. pouted and dropped the console and kicked around while throwing a tantrum. “But I still want to play!” She shouted once, but with one stern look from Martin, she stopped, especially when he spoke,

“Julie. Please.” His voice was tight , it made J.R. stop with her tantrums.

Tom couldn’t believe himself that with just a few words from Martin, it made J.R. stop, but her tears were flowing down from her face.

It was true, J.R. has the mentality of a child, although, this doesn’t change the way Tom sees her. He still thinks that she is a great person and that he knows that J.R. will be well again.

“Come on, now, you big girl; I’ll tuck you in.” Martin cooed but J.R. got up and evaded Martin.

“I want Nathan to tuck me in.” She mumbled, still sniffling and wiping her tears off.

Martin then stood back and nodded to Tom, which alerted him almost.

Tom stood beside J.R. as she was looking down, “Poor baby.” He lulled, “Let’s go to your room, so you can sleep now.”

“Carry me, I’m sleepy…” She mumbled again, but now a little bit inaudible.

Tom could only sigh, then went in front of J.R. to give her a piggyback ride, but Martin hesitated.

“Can you do that? J.R. might fall.” He had his arms up as if he was ready to catch J.R.

“Don’t worry, J.R.’s not that heavy.” Tom replied with a smile.

Then with one swift motion, Tom carried J.R. on his back and he started to climb on the stairs with no effort.

Martin was left standing there, with a blank look in his face. He wasn’t just used to it anymore that someone like Tom is there with them; living with them under one roof. He had forgotten it also how to be with Nathan; how he does his thing whenever he is with J.R. With Tom’s presence, it’s somehow the same with Nathan’s.

When Tom approached J.R.’s room, he stopped before opening the door. J.R. had snuggled comfortably on his back, and he could feel how warm she is, especially her smooth legs that he can touch while carrying her.

He opened the door and he settled J.R. carefully on the bed. J.R. opened her eyes as Tom covered her with the comforter.

“Sleep tight–” He said, but J.R. stopped him.

“Don’t go. Stay with me.” she whispered.

Tom turned on the lampshade beside her bed and sat next to J.R.

“What is it? Are you afraid to sleep alone?”

She shook her head saying _no_ , then, “What’s your name again?”

He looked at her with wide eyes, he wasn’t able to choose what to say to her. Is J.R. fragmentary remembering him? But finally, he smoothed the comforter around her arms and said, “I’m Tom.”

“You’re not– You’re not my Nathan.”

“I’m not.” Tom sighed.

“Where is he?” her voice, innocent and doting.

This time, Tom had no idea what to say to her. He knows that J.R. had been told for the past months when she woke that Nathan just went back home to London, but all this time, she could still not remember what happened on the night they got into the car crash that killed Nathan.

J.R. was eager to hear an answer but she sighed, “Don’t leave me, please.”

Her eyes was begging, Tom couldn’t help but feel his heart melt all over the place.

 _Damn it. Why did you have to look so seductive yet adorable at the same time?_ He mumbled in his thoughts.

“Is there something that scares you? That’s why you can’t sleep?” Tom patted her forehead.

“The two-headed monster I see in my dreams.” She whispered.

“Two… headed?” Tom awkwardly let out.

J.R. nodded, then, “They’re like… those scary things in the movies… They’re connected in the lips. It’s so scary.”

Tom cringed a little bit, he never knew J.R. dream about those kind of things.Then he finally thought of a solution, “Uhm, how about it, let me sing you a lullaby?” He rejoiced as he held her arm.

J.R. smiled with her teeth bare with a smile like a kid ready for her mom’s lullaby.

“Now, close your eyes, and I’ll sing for you.” Tom whispered.

He tried to think of any lullaby, then he remembered one, the _Brahms Lullaby_.

As he sang it softly into her ears, he replaced _mother’s delight_ , with _Tom’s delight_. He tried not to laugh as he did that, but he continued as he saw J.R.’s eyes droop down to a slumber.

But Tom made sure she wouldn’t dream bad dreams tonight, he continued to sing to her, patting her leg and smoothing her hair.

That night he thought, he will be Nathan for her, just once. But he can only wish that he can still define where his heart will side; to pretend and do his job, or to let go and love J.R.

—-

The soft light of the dawning sun slightly blinded Tom. He tried to turn his body and slowly, his senses are coming back to him.

It might have been 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning and the skies were starting to open up for the rising sun.

But he felt something smooth and soft over his hand. It took him a minute to figure out, it was J.R.’s arm.

“Oh, fuck.” He sharply whispered, he had fallen asleep beside J.R. after he had sang her a lullaby.

Panic started to sink in to his mind, if Martin saw what he did, he would be furious.

He needed to get out of the bed, fast. But he also tried to move slow so he won’t wake J.R. up.  When she stirred and rubbed her eyes, Tom held his breath and observed her. Like a beautiful infant, J.R. went back to sleep after yawning and rubbing her eyes.

Tom sighed, not because he was tied into this situation, but because his heart stopped again just because of J.R.

“Damn. What would I do to have you… Like for real. Not just because I need to pretend that you’re mine, but– you and me, just _us_?” He mumbled softly as he watched her sleep.

But J.R. spoke, still sleeping and dreaming, “I am yours.” A smile stretched across his face, her answer was too good to be true.

He was to lean over for a kiss, but halfway, he stopped.

 _You’re already awake but you’re still dreaming._ His thoughts slapped him, waking him more than ever.

Tom backed down but J.R. cuddle up to him.

He sighed and thought, _What a beautiful problem._

If Tom wanted something in this world to go on forever, it was this moment. But he searched his feelings and thoughts; why would he even want that?

Is it, that finally, the famous escort Tom Hiddleston has fallen in love, and wonderfully, for real?

A bright and tight smile appeared on his face; if he has fallen in love as what he suspects, he is only glad that it is with J.R.

J.R. then wiggled back to her previous position and had her back over Tom’s face. Still with the smile on his face, sat up and left the bed. But he stroke J.R.’s cheek before leaving the sleeping beauty in her room.

—–

“Bye, Macky!” J.R. screamed out from the van as she saw her caregiver get smaller and smaller in the distance.

She was waving all over, but Martin said, “J.R., luv, she can’t hear you anymore, we’re far away from her. Now sit down, please.” Martin softly pleaded.

J.R. sat next to Martin as if her older brother had not disciplined her the last night. Their journey back to Manila started and J.R. had just challenged Martin to a game of _Jack en Poy_ , the Filipino version of _Paper, Rocks, Scissors_.

Tom listened to them play as he looked outside the car window. Just like him, Martin always let J.R. win.

After J.R. had teased her brother enough, Martin looked back to Tom who was at that time, distracted with the trees.

“Tom?” Martin called out to him quietly.

“Oh yes, what is it?” Tom snapped out of his reverie and looked at Martin.

“I’ve arranged your tickets to Paris, and also your next destination after that.”

Tom’s eyes popped, “What? So, after Paris, we’ll fly to Morocco?”

Martin only nodded in reply, but Tom wanted more answers.

“Wait, J.R. and I– We’re still on our own when we get to Morocco? You won’t come with us?” Tom spoke through his breath in a single second.

“No. My wife told me that Jack needed to be confined for a week or so because of his pox, so I won’t be there for you two when you go to Morocco.”

Tom sank into his seat, and thought, _on a two-destination trip, alone with her? It’s either torture or a dream come true._

“How long do you intend to stay in Paris, anyway?” Martin asked.

“A day or so… I read in her journal that she made a photo shoot in Paris, and there, she and Nathan spent the holidays.” Tom tried not to stammer.

“Yes, I do remember that. She told me that before. May I add, I have already made a reservation for you and J.R. in a hotel in Souss-Massa in Morocco. My bodyguards Mason and McCord will meet you there.”

“Oh, okay. But I have also a contact there in Morocco, a friend of mine. I’ll talk to her if she could tour us to _Tleta Tagmout_ … She’s– A former client.” Tom cleared his throat after speaking. He can only hope that Martin will take what he said without any negative reactions.

Without looking back, Martin spoke, “I entrust you, Tom, my sister’s safety. Just make sure that you bring her back here in Baguio City just as she is.”

Tom now nodded in reply. He wasn’t sure what to say as of the moment.

Then Martin handed him a calling card, with an address written to it. It said,

 _Alex Quan_  
Le miroir de Marie Studio, #21, Des pierres Bldg.,  
Rue de Marignan, Paris, France

He wondered who was this Alex Quan, but he didn’t tried to ask Martin who is that person in the calling card, but Martin spoke,”That person will meet you in the airport when you arrive.”

Then after that, they were all quiet. Their travel continued but all of them slept on the way. It would be another 5 hour travel, just like the one Tom traveled through when he first arrived in the Philippines.

Tom’s mind wander and sometimes slept through the journey. He would shot a glance at Martin and J.R. who are sitting on his front. But no matter how he make his mind think of something else, it would again drift back to J.R. and him being alone in this extended trip to Paris to Morocco.

He had done it once, this kind of trip, when he met _her_ , the contact that he mentioned. They met in London, and she was with her husband. There, they escaped to Switzerland then to Morocco. But he never knew that her husband would follow them there. It was quite unforgettable for him because it was the first time he had fallen madly in love with a client, and also that he almost died because of her husband.

As he recalled those memories with that special client, he couldn’t help but think with the way he is falling in love with J.R. mirrored the situation he had with her. At that time, she needed him badly, and that’s what made him fall for her. Or maybe just because she was showing how much he needs him, he had fallen under her spell.

Sometimes, it was hard for him to discern whether a person needs him or loves him. He was gullible when it comes to those things. Because he could just give it all out when a person needs him most, and that’s where Tom’s fault is. And he admits to it with no guilt.

Only with J.R., there is a thin line where she needs him and she doesn’t. The part where she doesn’t, comes from the fact that he is just pretending to be Nathan for her.

He tried to sigh quietly or Martin might hear him. He was right, being alone with her in this two-destination trip would be either a torture or a dream come true.

—-

It was a Wednesday, supposedly the _hump day_ in a week, but NAIA was filled with people at the time they arrived.

It was already 4 o’clock in the afternoon, and Donnie had accompanied them as far as the inside of the terminal.

Martin’s London flight is on 5:05pm, while Tom and J.R’s Paris flight is on 5:15pm.

There, they found themselves waiting for a flight again. J.R. sat next to Martin, while Tom was beside her. It was just 4:30, and they have to wait more for their flights.

Martin then was texting someone, while Tom and J.R. wrestled with their thumbs. J.R. was giggling all the way as Tom kept trapping her thumb down, but she would raise her thumb out of it.

After texting, Martin turned to Tom and J.R., but his face looked worried.

“Kuya, is there something wrong?” J.R. noticed Martin.

He tried to smile but then he spoke out, “Jack… He has a high fever now. Sandra said that he had just a convulsion.”

Tom and J.R. gasped, but J.R. put her arm around Martin’s shoulder, “Don’t worry, kuya, Jack-Jack will be alright.” She tried to comfort her brother as she tapped gently the back of his hand.

“I hope so.” Martin sniffled, then he glanced at Tom who was also worried.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine, Martin.”

“It’s a 14-hour flight to London. I hope he could still hold out.” He sighed.

J.R. continued to lean on Martin as she talked to him to lure him out of his anxious thoughts. When the clock striked 5pm, they all expected the call of their flights from the PA.

Martin went to the bathroom first, then when he returned, he called Tom so they could talk in private in the corner.

“What is it?” Tom inquired.

“Did you heard what J.R. just said earlier?”

“What did she say, anyway?”

“She mentioned her nephew. She doesn’t remember my son.” Martin mumbled as if he just discovered a great secret.

“Then she’s starting to remember.” Tom encouraged.

Martin looked up to Tom, “I hope so. Little by little, she’s doing it.”

Tom tapped his shoulder, “You don’t have to be worried about everything now, Martin. There’s always hope.”

Martin only nodded in reply and with a thin smile on his face. Tom can tell he was relieved, even though he was heavily worried for his sick son.

After a few minutes, they parted ways as the PA announced the flight to London is due in a matter of 5 minutes. Tom and J.R. were left in the departure lounge. Tom felt like he was about to cliff dive into a dark sea in the middle of the night, as he was left alone with J.R.

But he shook the idea off of his head and finally, the flight to Paris was called out. Tom assisted J.R. all the way and when they got to the airplane.

“I hope that Jack-Jack will be alright. I miss him, y’know.” She mumbled as she looked out of the airplane window where the sky, like a canvass, was painted with a burning color of the descending sun.

“He will be. J.R. may I ask you, do you know Jack?” Tom made J.R. turn his direction so they could speak.

The noise of the people trying to get their hand-carried bags into the overhead locker distracted J.R. for a while, but she replied, “He’s my nephew. He was born on Christmas… I think, but I forgot.”

But she paused then as if a light bulb just flashed over hear head, “Yes, I do remember him. He was so cute, he wore the Christmas over-all that I bought him because it was his first birthday.”

Tom smiled, “You’re starting to remember…” He whispered under his breath.

J.R. then looked away again into the window then she spoke, without looking back at Tom, “Where are we going?”

Tom settled on to his seat and said, “To Paris, dear. We’re going to see your friend, Alex.”

“Oh, yes, Alex.” J.R. only mumbled out. She was too distracted at the setting sun, then she leaned down, as if stretching to a sleep.

“Nathan, I want to sleep, can you sing me again that lullaby?”

Tom only nodded, there, he made J.R. lean on his shoulder, as his arm went over her shoulder. Tom started to hum the lullaby again to J.R..

J.R. dreamed of blurry colors and soft light. But there was a face on her dream, Nathan’s face, his black hair and winter-blue eyes. Suddenly, it would change to a face, just similar to him, but with hay-blonde hair and baby-blue eyes.

She would hear every now and then in her dream, _Tom. Tom._

_—–_

The 16-hour flight was bringing the jet lag in Tom’s senses, though they had a stop in Turkmenistan, Tom still felt sluggish; but not J.R. She was jumpy and jolly as they got out of the airplane and while they were waiting for their luggage in the carousel baggage.

It was almost noon when they arrived, but the coldness of Paris gave Tom the feeling as if he was like in London again.

“We’re in Paris, Nathan! Gosh, it’s so cold here. But I like it, just like Baguio City.” She sang after they got their luggage.

Then, Tom once again looked at the calling card; Martin said that this Alex Quan will meet them in the airport.

It was a bit of a confusion, because Martin never gave him the contact number of this man-- whoever he is.

As they approached the arrival area, he was looking for any person that might hold a sign for them, and luckily, he did saw one. It was a medium-sized cardboard, written in permanent marker was his name and J.R.’s, but it was held out by a woman, she was Eurasian and Tom noticed that.

But when J.R. saw her, her eyes lit up and she screamed, “Alex! Alex, it’s you!”

J.R. ran to her arms and attacked Alex with a hug, she returned the gesture with a tighter hug and her face tucked into J.R.’s shoulder.

“I missed you, baby girl!” Alex squealed as she held J.R. an arm-width away.

“Me too! I missed you more!” J.R. cheered with delight.

Tom never knew that this Alex would be a woman, he was thinking that it would be a guy; maybe he was just overthinking that he might have a competition when they arrive.

But Alex noticed him standing a few feet away from them, her expression froze and she was breathing mist on her mouth, “Nathan? It can't be.” Her accent was somehow mixed with a French tone and something of a Asian language but Tom was sure it was not Filipino.

“I’m not. I’m Tom Hiddleston.” He whispered over when he came near Alex.

She examined him from head to toe, but she only replied, “Let’s get back to my flat, you two must be tired with the journey. Come on, baby girl.” Her voice tried to hide the fact that she was spooked by, but she rejoiced when she turned lastly to J.R.

Tom tried to fight back the tiredness, but his thoughts lingered with the fact that Alex did also know Nathan. Once again, this would require him to explain once again on why he is with J.R.

 _I’m kinda used to it. I need to be._ He thought.

There, they got into Alex’s car and drove out to rue de Marignan. Tom could only wonder what new adventure can Paris give to them this time. He can only hope this trip would not end with any incidents.


	7. The Parisian photoshoot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was all Lights, Camera, and Shoot for Tom and J.R. as they meet J.R’s best friend, the ex-model now turned photographer, Alex. But as they stay longer in Paris, can Tom still hide his unrequited love for J.R.?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One again, I corrected some sentences for this chapter, and just a fun fact, my facecast for Alex Quan is Elodie Yung :D I hope y'all enjoy this one, happy reading! :D

                                                    

“Make yourselves comfortable in the couch, I’ll reheat the hot chocolate I had this morning.” Alex welcomed them to  ** _Le miroir de Marie_** , her apartment and studio. 

 ** _Alexis Genevìeve Quan_**  is a former supermodel; she posed for V _ogue, FHM, Maxim, Nylon, Cosmopolitan,_  and other more famous magazines. She became the face of  _Revlon_  for two consecutive years; she modeled for  _Dior, Chanel_ , and her favorite brand,  _Forever 21_. She is also an equestrian, polo player and an athletic swimmer. 

Alex’s resumé is just too full of accomplishments. But simply, she is the daughter of a French theater actress and a Cambodian literate. As one can see, Alex was born with art running through her veins. 

She placed the small casserole in the kitchen heat-induced cooker and after a while, they all smelled the rich and intoxicating scent of hot chocolate. 

But even though she had tasted the high life, she exchanged it for a life in solidarity of being a photographer. She didn’t wanted drama anymore, she wanted the quiet life. Single, earning money for herself and from her hobby, and free of anything that can weigh her down. 

She met J.R. when they were in high school, when her mother and father divorced and Alex’s father won the custody for her. They lived in the Philippines for four years to finish her secondary education. But after earning a lasting friendship with J.R., Alex convinced her father to let her study college in Manila with J.R.

J.R. and Alex were the coolest girls in high school; they were the fashion divas of  _Sacred Heart Academy;_ the  ** _It_**  girls from 1st to 4th year, and they were made to join yearly academic pageants just because they were too damn beautiful. 

Alex poured down the hot chocolate in two mugs, even though the sun was out, it was almost freezing inside. 

J.R. and Alex were also the campus crushes back then, and their suitors and admirers had to stand on a line just to get their attention. They were not saved from the heartbreaks of high school; Alex who was the tougher one, was thought to be the heart-breaker; but it was the complete opposite. A boy on their sophomore year broke up with her and she moved on for 2 years; while J.R., she broke every boy’s heart that tried to charm her or had taken her mutual interest. 

But even in their college days, they were every freshman’s fantasy and every sophomore, junior, and senior college girls’ envy. 

Alex then took a course in Economics while J.R. took Business Administration, major in Office Management, both in _De la Salle University_ , respectively. 

Then came their modelling career after college, Alex reached fame when she joined  _Asia’s Next Top Model_ , while J.R. became a famous fashion and ad model for two years, but then she got hired as an administrative assistant in Renovis. 

J.R. was tapping her feet as Alex served them the mugs of hot chocolate. 

“Here you go, baby girl. Here’s yours, Tom.” Alex handed the mugs and she sat adjacent to them. 

“Thanks for coming for us at the airport.” Tom spoke after taking a sip. 

“Martin contacted me two days ago. And I heard--Jules remembers something.” She eyed her best friend, who cluelessly popped her head up from the cup of her hot cocoa. 

“Maybe we can talk about that later.” Tom carefully replied, indicating that they should not talk about it while on J.R.’s presence.

“Okay. How are you, Jules?” Alex’s face lit up as she turned to J.R.

“I’m all right, Lexy. How about you? How’s Ryan?” J.R. excitedly remarked.

Alex giggled, “Silly girl, I’ve broken up with Ryan in High School. I think you better rest, baby girl. You’ve been in a long trip.”

J.R. instinctively yawned after settling down the mug in the wooden table in front of them.

“I think that’s a good idea.” Tom spoke up.

“Well, I’ll get your bags. Jules can sleep in my room with me, uhm– Tom? You can use the guest room.” Alex stood up and was ready to get their baggage that were standing straight near the shoe racks by the front door.

“I’ll help you with our baggage, Alex.” Tom volunteered.

They left the living room where J.R. quietly enjoyed the hot chocolate. Tom was about to get the baggage but Alex pulled him in the small hallway where it was decorated by Alex’s masterpiece photographs of people, places and events.

Tom started to worry that Alex might just pull him into a kiss, an action Macky might just do, after they are concealed in the hallway, but to his relief Alex only stared at him.

“I can’t believe it… You look so much like Nathan. In every way, but his hair.” She whispered.

“Did you knew Nathan when he was alive?” He replied.

“Yes, he was also my best friend. He was part of Jules’ life, and I love that girl as much like she is my sister; and so I did loved Nathan too, like he was the brother I never had.” She crossed her arms on her chest and looked away.

“Did Martin told you– What I am? What I’m doing?” Tom mumbled.

“Yes. You’re hired to help Jules regain her memories. And that you’re recreating her memories with Nathan.” She flatly replied.

Tom swallowed a lump on his throat, then spoke, “Will you help us?”

“I will give all the help that I can give.” Now her voice was warm and this gave a calm reassurance in Tom.

“Maybe we can can do the photo shoot for tomorrow. You two need some rest. Now, what do you know about the photo shoot that we did with Nathan?”

Tom tried to recall from J.R.’s journals and he can only remember that it had the motif of the 50s. But he shook his head because he wasn’t really sure.

“It was a  _Lolita_ -themed photo shoot. I was Professor Humbert, Julie was Dolores Haze. It was like something out of a play or a movie when we did it. And boy, did the media scrutinized us when the magazine we submitted it to published it.” She chuckled.

Alex  _is_  a pure rebel and a contemporary artist, Tom thought happily.

“I have still the costumes, and I have a costume for you too at the store room. We will also do the costume fitting tomorrow.” Alex added, but Tom’s mouth was open but he couldn’t find the words to say when he heard that from her.

She walked out of the narrow hallway but Tom chased her, “What? What do you mean a costume for me? I thought I would be taking the pictures?”

Alex turned, with the beautiful fierceness in her eyes, “Wait, the last time we did this, I was a subject, Nathan was the photographer. Now tell me, are you a photographer? Can you be our photographer this time?”

But Tom were altogether lost for words, and so Alex tantalizingly reply, “So, you’ll be the professor this time; Jules is the Lolita.”

Alex dashed out and she went over to J.R. but Tom shrugged. Somehow he wished he wouldn’t be involved with the shoot, or he might just grow closer to J.R., and feeling something he might regret someday.

—–

At nightfall, Alex brought Tom and J.R. to a fine restaurant located at _Monmarte_ , and she gave them of a little tour from there to _Champs-Élysées_.

Tom had forgotten how beautiful Paris is. The last time he had been here was when he a starry-eyed 15 year-old. He was stowed away by his Uncle and his bohemian band and lover and there they had a wonderful adventure, but he took a great scolding for it, credited to his mother.

But to push those memories away, his eyes drifted to J.R.’s direction. Her eyes were twinkling just like the lights of Paris. She was so happy, he could feel it in the air she gives off.

They saw a carousel in a small plaza near the _Arc de Triomphe_ , and J.R. urged them if she could ride. Tom only smiled and chuckled, “It’s your night tonight, J.R. Of course you can.”

And she can only cheer in delight as Alex accompanied her to get tickets for the carousel.

The two girls went for a ride in the carousel, and Tom stood watch. He also got out his phone to take a picture of them. The joy bled from J.R.’s face when the carousel finally moved and she held on tight to the horse’s reins.

As Tom leaned over in the railing with his arms, he smiled. As he observed J.R., he can finally discern from himself that he would do anything for that girl’s happiness. He would give her everything, respect her with all of his heart just because he had fallen so hard for her. And he is sure, there was no going back to where he started. He is so smitten, even if he wouldn’t be able to be with J.R. when she regains her memories; Tom would gladly accept that with a patched-up broken heart.

He took a last snap of J.R. smiling brightly when the horse she was riding passed by him.

 _A little souvenir._  He quietly thought.

\--

_The next day_

They made their costume fitting in Alex’s studio that is the extension of her apartment, with two dressing rooms at the back; then there is the white-walled room in the front for the photo shoot, as if it is a theater and the stage is already set.

It was just 10 o’clock in the morning but J.R. was brimming with excitement as Alex made her try on the skimpy 50s outfits that they will use for the shoot.

She was just comfortable with it that Alex almost thought it was their modelling days again and she felt the surge of nostalgia in the air which made her smile brightly.

While Tom, instead of choosing from the wardrobe Alex had laid out for him, he was fixing the lights that will be used for the shoot. He felt reluctant to do it, and so, he’s just doing other things so he could get it off of his mind.

“Now go put this on. Let’s see if it fits.” Alex enthusiastically ordered J.R., as if she is a mother that had just bought her one and only daughter some new clothes and she’s playing dress up with her.

J.R. went hopping into the dressing room at the back part of the studio. 

Le miroir de Marie is just a studio where she works her magic. Alex’s common clients for the past two years had been couples, infants and newborn babies and also freelance models who wants to carve out a niche in the modelling world. But she had never felt more excited now that her client for today is none other than her best friend.

When she went to Tom, he was fumbling with the light fixtures. She went closer and swooped out the tripod from Tom’s grip that he was trying to extend out.

“What did I told you? There’s your wardrobe inside the dressing room, you can choose from that and see what fits you. Come on man, help me on this.” She sounded annoyed but mean and authoritative, Tom didn’t even bother to say something back, but he can only scratch the back of his head.

He went inside the dressing room and saw the long table with all the coats, shirts and ties laid out. There were round-rimmed glasses that reminded him of his grandfather’s glasses. It must be the glasses that will complete the Humbert-look.

 _Do I really want to look like that pedophile book character? Eugh._  Tom thought as he started to remember that Humbert Humbert is a flawed literary character.

But when he remembered that J.R. would be his Dolores Haze, only the image of a young  _Dominique Swain_  dressed in plaid shorts and top and wearing heart-shaped glasses came to his mind. Then he tried to transfer that image into J.R. and he swore, he could feel his chest burn up and heave with desire.

He could only wish that he could shoo away the impure thoughts.

Tom chose two coats and three shirts that seemed to match the bookish nature of the Professor. He also chose the round-rimmed glasses that will complete the look. Alex said that she will do their make-up and styling, a thing that she is a virtuoso of.

For the next hour, Alex divided her time in styling Tom then putting make up on J.R.. They took the separate dressing rooms for their preparation, and minute by minute, Alex would be in J.R.’s room then at Tom’s.

Tom thought that Alex will be rushed, but she effortlessly graced out of her tasks for that hour.

Then for the final reveal, she called out first for Tom to see how he turned out. Tom breathed in and took a step out of the dressing room.

"Ooh la la." Alex saucily let out when she saw Tom all dressed up in a grey vest and long black slacks, finished up altogether with the round-rim glasses that gave off the nostalgic mood of the shoot. 

Tom cringed, "Am I supposed to accept that I'm about to portray a pedophile in this photo shoot?" 

"Nonsense! You'd be great. Now, where's Jules? Come out, girl, I wanna see you with those clothes." 

Tom held his breath as he waited with anticipation; when J.R. came out of the small closet, she did eventually took his breath away. 

Tom swore he could hear  _Lana Del Rey'_ s version of  _Blue Velvet_  when he finally saw her wearing a purplish-blue pin up outfit with high-waist shorts, sleeveless top with a sailor collar that revealed J.R.'s creamy soft skin. 

"Wow." He breathed out. J.R. twirled around as the velvet-blue ribbons in her hair swayed with her. 

"Do you like it, Nathan?" She sang. 

"I-I... I love it." Tom replied with his heart heaving with fast beats. 

For a while, Tom didn't wanted to take his eyes off of J.R., he wanted to stare at her for a long time. But his daydreaming was ended when Alex cleared her throat, "So, shall we? We have all day but I don't trust time."

Tom was detached from his train of thought. Alex first saw the window of the studio as an inspiration for the first picture. There they would sit down over the window sill as the light of the morning sun would flood them with a soft gleam.

“Tom, sit down there with your back against the side of the window... Uhm, Jules, you will sit in front of Tom and you will lean against him.” Alex directed them.

Tom could almost feel like they are in a movie, being directed and told what pose to take; what lines to say, how to act; but will the emotions be true?

J.R. did as she was told, and when her back touched Tom’s chest, she smiled as she can feel how loud his heart beat is.

“I think Nathan’s nervous.” She giggled.

Alex eyed Tom and a smirk appeared on her lips. She took her DSLR camera on both hands and took a snoop from the viewfinder eyepiece and pointed the camera at them.

“Perfect. Tom, move your arms closer to Jules, drape it around her shoulders. The right arm over her shoulder then the left, over her torso.”

He did as he was told, but as his hands touched J.R.’s body, he can feel the electricity trickling all over him. If only this wasn’t a photo shoot but just him and J.R. cuddling over the window, Tom would gladly exchange this for that kind of situation.

For a while, Alex checked the lighting of the view, then after a while, she took a few shot from different angles.

For the next poses, Tom tried to keep up with the photo shoot as he was trying hard not to falter or flail around as J.R. was always kept around him in intimate poses where their bodies would touch. It was sweet torture for Tom, but he can see from Alex’s face that she is already making them touch each other intentionally. 

They had three more costume changes; J.R. wore a red polka-dot swing dress with a balconette neckline, while sitting with Tom on a vintage sofa that Alex had procured for the shoot; then a green bodycon dress with a pin up motif that accentuated her slim body and her bountiful bosom.

Alex once caught Tom sighing at the sight of the green body fit dress and she can only nudge him and wink.

But as the photo shoot proceeded for the next two hours, they could see how well J.R. was enjoying it. For a time, she would pause as if she remembers a situation, with every pose she made with Tom; with every draping of their arms together on their shoulders, and with Tom holding her from the back.

They could see it in her that it was slowly registering in her mind that she had experienced this event before. But because of Samuel’s disease, there might be a confusion to her if she is experiencing it now or yesterday.

But for all Tom could know, the only thing important for them is that J.R. is enjoying every moment of the photo shoot.

After Alex had taken a shot of Tom and J.R. in the staircase while she was wearing the body fit dress, she had called it a day and a great shoot.

They were all excited to see the results and so Alex pulled out her laptop and placed the SD card in the port to see the photos. The three of them slumped down in the polished wooden studio floor, all the while J.R. and Tom were still wearing their costumes; and browsed through the various photos that Alex had taken.

“ _Mon Dieu_ , this photos doesn’t need  _photoshop_ , it’s already perfect.” She gasped as she saw every picture.

“Hey, don’t tease us much, it might get on our heads.” Tom jeered.

“Oh it’s so pretty. Alex, I didn’t know you could shoot so well.” J.R. praised her best friend as she laid down her chin on Alex’s shoulder.

“Thanks so much, Jules. Well if you are catching the angles of two good-looking people, it adds up to the aesthetic factor of the photograph.” Alex explained happily.

Alex copied the photos from the SD card to her laptop then she spoke, “You know, guys, there’s an advert company that has been asking for my artistic suggestions for their next commercial for Chanel, I can send them these for samples.”

Tom’s eyes lit up but he hesitated for a while, “Just a sample, Alex? If they like those pictures, they might hire us to model for them.”

“Well why not? Jules here is a model, and you don’t look bad yourself.” She suggested.

He sighed, an impromptu photo shoot with J.R. had sent his heart racing through, what more the pressure of a real one?

But Alex laughed and lightly slapped his arm, “Come on, Tom, just kidding. This might just go to my portfolio or theirs. It’s a good sample, but an unforgettable shoot for me.” Then she threw a soft adoring gaze at her best friend.

Then Alex jovially shouted, “Now who’s hungry? Because I am!”

And the shoot for that day was ended with snacks that comforted their efforts.


	8. Almost Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come for them to depart for their next destination, but on the way, there would be a slight problem. Will Tom keep his cool and focus with all the events happening to him or will he let his feelings get the best of him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little fun fact, this fic was inspired by the song "Perfect" by One Direction, and when I heard that, I immediately thought of writing this up and of course, Tom as the main character :D

                                                   

She took another sip of her wine as she made the last retouch in J.R.’s photo. Alex was laboring the night away to have the photos finished for her submission to the advert company. It was just 8 o’clock in the evening, and for her, the night was still young.

A while ago, she already sent the unretouched photos to Martin. He has been in touch with her all the time J.R. and Tom were in Paris. He still monitors them even though he was not there.

Suddenly, she heard a facetime call from her Iphone, and it was Martin. She almost choked on her wine when she saw Martin’s name flash across the screen,  then she tried to answer it after clearing her throat.

Martin appeared on the screen, he was in a empty hospital corridor and was leaning against the corner of a wall.

“Hi, Lexy.” He greeted.

“Oh,  _Bonsoir_ , Martin.” She smiled over the camera.

Then Martin began, “So, how was the shoot? I saw the photos… Tom and J.R. were pretty close together.”

“Well, it was beautiful! Jules haven’t lost the talent for posing in photographs.” She giggled.

“I can see that you are responsible for those poses… With her so close to Tom.” He tried to clear his throat so he wouldn’t sound so strict, but he failed and Alex immediately recognized his worry.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?” She replied.

Martin shrugged, “My sister deserves to be happy, Lex. But– Tom is not Nathan. Nathan’s gone. Tom cannot replace him; he can’t replace the love Nathan had for J.R.”

Alex then took a sip of her wine, “I see your point. But, are you actually assuming that this Tom might have feelings for my best friend?”

For a while, Martin didn’t know what to say. He can see it through that Tom is falling in love with J.R., but he doesn’t want J.R.’s feelings be put through all the pain and suffering again.

Martin didn’t answered Alex’s question, instead he replied, “I think they’ll be leaving for Morocco for tomorrow. Did Tom told you that? It’s a two-destination trip for them.”

“He had. He told me before the shoot. I’ll arrange a taxi for them tomorrow, I guess.”

And through the screen, Alex saw the gratefulness in Martin’s green eyes. “Lexy, thank you for all of this.”

Alex clicked her tongue and smirked, “Nah. I love Jules, I’d do anything for that girl.”

Then Martin smiled brightly at the screen, and Lexy could see it through her phone. It’s been a while since the last time he smiled, he was all too worried for his son. But it’s all past now, Jack was all right and Martin can sigh with relief.

“So I guess I’ll leave you to your work for tonight, then?”

“Oh sure. Thanks, Martin– for calling.” Alex shrugged.

Martin nodded, “Bye, Lexy.”

Alex smiled, “Bye, Martin. Till next time.”

And there the line ended. Alex sighed and stretched out on her chair. Martin still gets her with that charming smile like when she was still a teenager. Then, Alex recalled the time when she was 16 and she had a mad crush with Martin, that J.R. made a way for the both of them to get together. But Martin could only gently reject her because she was too young for him at that time.

“But I’m way pass that.” Alex then whispered to herself.

She then shrugged off the memories and continued her work in Photoshop.

——

Tom passed by Alex’s bedroom and he saw that J.R. is slumbering deeply and soundly. It was already 11 o’clock but Tom at that time could not bring himself to sleep.

He then headed to the narrow corridor where he and Alex talked the day before, and on his hand was his planner. He was to write all the things that happened today and his thoughts. Maybe this way, sleep might find him.

When Tom reached the narrow corridor, he sat down and leaned against the wall, where the hanged photographs were. Affront of him was the city lights of Champs-Élysées.

He started to scribble down some pointers in his planner.

_Had a photoshoot with J.R. And it was glorious._

Then he added at the end,  _J.R. **was**  glorious. She was beautiful. Breath-taking. I do wonder how will I ever stop loving her if she’s that wonderful?_

Tom sighed and made the back of his lead lean over the wall. But he almost jumped when he heard Alex knock on the other side to get his attention.

“What are you doing there?” She asked.

“Just– Writing on my planner.”

Alex snickered and she sat down beside Tom. “What’s your planner for?”

“Well, to write down pointers, information that I need– happenings that I wanted to be reminded of someday. I always did use a planner for my customers–”

Then Alex cut him off, “What do you mean by that…  _Your customers_?”

She raised an eyebrow as Tom slowly conjured an answer, “Didn’t Martin told you what I am?”

“All that he told me is that he hired you because you look like Nathan.”

Tom placed down his planner, “Yes, I look like Nathan; But actually, I was a gigolo. An escort.”

Alex’s eyes widened and she slowly replied, “No way? Are you serious?”

“Yes. It’s true. I used to be an escort.” Tom admitted again.

“Well– It’s still an honest work.” Alex added, politely.

“You’re not that shocked?” Tom thrust his chin up, a questioning gesture.

Alex shrugged, “I was a model for 5 years, I think. I’ve met different kinds of people in fashion shows, clubs, anywhere I went. No type of person could shock me anymore, I’m open to all of it.”

“It’s good to have an open mind, isn’t it?” He replied with a smile, then he looked away to the city lights.

“You have an open heart. And I can see right through that you love J.R.”

With that comment, Tom tried to stay unaffected, but Alex peered on, “Do you love her, Tom?”

Tom sighed and inserted his pen on the space in the spine of his planner, “How do you know that, Alex?”

She didn’t want to tell him that Martin suspects so, and so she only spoke, “The way you looked at her this morning, and every time–that was the exact way Nathan looked at J.R. when they were still together. They were so in love, but Nathan, even though he was a shy person; he never withhold himself from showing J.R. that he’s so in love with her.”

Tom started to get up, “Are you going to advise me to stay away from her? To stop my feelings for her?”

Alex shook her head, “I’m not. It’s your feelings for her, you handle it. But you should know too what is best for J.R., because you love her.”

Tom didn’t answered that. It was no question, but he felt like he didn’t need to reply to Alex’s statement.

“I’ll be going back to the guest room. By the way, we’ll be leaving for tomorrow. The tickets to Morocco are scheduled in the morning.”

“I’ve arranged a taxi to fetch you first thing in the morning. Oh, I hate to see J.R. go. And you too.” She sighed.

“When was the last time you saw her?” Tom inquired politely.

Alex sighed as she finally slumped down on the floor, with her back against the wall and her legs stretched out, “When she was in a coma. I visited for the first five months, then… That adoptive sister of hers tried to make me leave. I was no outsider but I didn’t wanted to get on an argument with a person with a lower level compared to mine.”

Tom’s brows furrowed, “ _Adoptive sister?”_

Alex faced Tom, “That in-and-out of med school nurse? The one  _Auntie Cass_  adopted out of charity? I forgot her name–”

“Macky?” Tom whispered under his breath.

“Yes, that’s the one. I’ve never liked her though… She was too jealous. I don’t know if it was with Jules or me. We were inseparable and I think that Macky envied that.”

Tom cocked his head to the side, he never knew he would hear this kind of things about Macky.

Alex started to stand but Tom helped her, “Well, you better get some sleep, it’s an early day ahead of you. Where will you be going in Morocco?”

“In Souss-Massa. I’ll take J.R. in Tleta Tagmoute. It’s an oasis in Souss-Massa.”

Her eyes widened with delight when she heard that from Tom, “In Tleta Tagmoute? Seriously? I’ve always wanted to go there. Gosh. Like, in a vacation or a very long holiday. That would be good.”

Tom smiled at her, “You can come with us if you want.”

But the excitement left Alex’s face, “Hm, I don’t think that would do. I have incoming clients for the next week; a pre-nuptial photo shoot. And besides, I would just ruin your moment with J.R. if I came with the two of you.” She jeered as she tried to tickle Tom.

“Shush! Don’t say that! J.R. might hear you.” Tom looked abashed and was looking around if that woke J.R. up.

“ _Tom and Julie sitting in a palm tree– K-I-S-S-I-N-G._ ” Alex sang and teased.

“Alex, I’m warning you.” Tom tried to make her stop and she did stop with her teasing.

“Go on, Tom. Sleep now while you can. It’s another long day for tomorrow, that I’m sure.”

Tom smiled and tapped her shoulder, “Good night, Alex. And thanks also.”

“No problem.” She replied.

Tom went on to the guest room where he would sleep. He placed his planner beside the night lamp and finally he gently flopped down the soft bed. It was another journey and another adventure to make more memories for the both of them.

—–

J.R. embraced Alex tightly as she was saying her goodbyes. But tears were on her eyes as she would once again miss her best friend.

“Now take care in Morocco, okay? Just call me or let Tom call me if you’re there. Keep safe, baby girl.” Alex patted J.R.’s hair and rubbed her cheeks to brush away the tears.

“I will. I’ll miss you, Lexy.” J.R. sobbed and she hugged Alex again.

“Now go on, I’ll cry too if you stay longer.” She teased, but she was just trying to hold her tears.

“Okay. Bye-bye, baby girl.” J.R. mumbled.

“Bye, Jules.” Alex said her last goodbye. It might be painful for her, but she is still relieved with the thought that she will see her best friend again someday.

“Tom, take care of her.” Alex reminded him as he was now guiding J.R. to be seated inside the taxi.

“I will. I’ll keep her safe, Alex.” Tom replied as he also got inside the taxi.

The taxi finally drove out and J.R. waved goodbye at Alex as she slowly got smaller and smaller with the distance. J.R. finally settled in her seat and wiped her eyes with the crocheted mittens she wore.

“I’ll miss her.” She sadly pouted.

“You’ll see her again, don’t worry.” And Tom placed a comforting arm over her shoulder.

The taxi was taking them to the  _Le Bourget Aiport_  and it would be a 1-hour drive from Champs-Élysées.

J.R. was quiet all the way to the airport, maybe she was still thinking of Alex, as Tom had observed.

But the silence was shattered when Tom heard his phone rang because of a call. It was a number not registered from his phone, but he answered it anyway.

“Yes, hello?” Tom spoke up.

“Mr. Hiddleston, it’s McCord.” Tom heard the thick Cockney accent of Martin’s bodyguard and he was once again reminded of how ferocious they look like.

“Oh. I’m surprised that you knew my number.” Tom tried to keep cool as he spoke through his phone.

“Mason and I will be waiting for you and Ms. Julie Rose here in  _Al Massira Airport,_ in  _Agadir_.”

Tom knew that these bodyguards are not the one to be fooled with, so he immediately replied, “We’ll be there. I’ll give you a call when we arrive.”

The call ended and Tom placed his phone on his pocket.

“Who was that?” J.R. asked.

“It was McCord. He said that he will be waiting for us in Agadir.”

“McCord. He looks funny sometimes, you know.” J.R. remarked.

“Why is that?”

“He’s too serious sometimes. I tried to make him laugh when I met him but he didn’t.”

But Tom didn’t paid attention to J.R.’s story, he tried to discover how J.R. remembered that memory, “When did you met him?”

“I don’t remember. I just know I’ve met him before.” She replied innocently.

And like flitting shadow, her attention was now caught by the view outside the window. Tom wanted to ask her more about meeting McCord, but it was obvious that he is not getting more answers right now.

After an hour drive, they finally arrived in Le Bourget Airport. It was already 9:35am and their flight would be at 10:45am. Tom paid the taxi driver and they proceeded to the reception to check-in for their flights.

For the next hour, they waited for the announcement of their flight in the terminal near the boarding gates and some food stalls. It was already 10 o’clock, but Tom felt that he needed to go to the bathroom. But he hesitated because he didn’t wanted to leave J.R. alone.

 _Maybe I can endure the urge to take a piss._  He tried to convince himself.

But J.R. looked at him and can see his discomfort. “Are you all right?”

Tom cringed, “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

J.R. noticed that Tom was sitting with his legs crossed, “Do you want to take a pee?”

He turned to her, “Uhm… Maybe later. I don’t want to leave you all alone. Besides, it’s just another 30 minutes before the PA announce our flight.”

She snickered and slapped his arm with her mittened hand, “Go on. I’ll be okay here. No one’s going to take me away.”

“B-But... Your brother will kill me if anything happens to you.” Tom worriedly mumbled.

J.R. could only smile and sat with her legs on the terminal seat, “Go on. I won’t go away.”

Tom shrugged then he started to stood up, “I’ll be just quick. Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

“Yep. I’ll be right here.” She comforted as she draped her arms on the upper edge of the seat.

Tom now started to walk away and go to the direction of the men’s comfort room but never taking his sight off of J.R. But Tom finally disappeared from J.R.’s sight. She sighed as she thought that she had to wait for him.

She tried to distract herself by reading the large information board that settles on top of the high ceiling of the terminal. The flight to Agadir was still due on 10:45am. Her gaze then went to her wrist watch, and it was already 15 minutes till 10:30.

J.R. saw a few people pass by her; flight stewardesses, families, businessmen and other people who are trying to get to their own destination.

But as she observed, there was something in her mind eye. She could see a hand holding hers, leading her in airport terminal.

When she looked up to the person holding her hand, it was Nathan. He had his camera strap on his neck, his backpack on his right shoulder, but his left hand holding her hand. They were going somewhere and she can see from his lips that he mentioned Morocco.

But as J.R. blinked, Nathan changed in her mind eye. His hair became blonde and he looked different.

There she heard it again,  _Tom. Tom._

The memory disappeared and she looked away. But she whispered, “Tom? Who’s Tom?”

By this time, Tom is still Nathan for her. Her illness had made sure that he wouldn’t be able to recognize Tom as he is.

J.R. placed a hand under her chin. Tom has been gone for 10 minutes.

She started to look around and tried to find him if she could see him, but he was nowhere near from where she is.

After a while, she started to worry. She tried to tell herself that maybe he was just held up.

A sigh escaped from her lips and she looked around again. But then she saw passengers entering a boarding gate near her, and there she saw Tom entering the boarding gate.

She tried to shout his name but there was a certain gap in her mind,  _Who was he again?_

J.R. stood up from her seat and started to run towards where Tom had entered the boarding gate.

—–

Tom was trying to wash away the toothpaste that got into his pants because some asshole had left an open tube of toothpaste in the edge of the sink while he was washing his hands. And because of his unprecedented clumsiness, his hand brushed the toothpaste tube away from the sink and it luckily fell near his inner thigh.

 _I will look like I just wanked off and came with this toothpaste stain. Fuck._  He cursed to himself.

After trying and failing to remove the stain with his hanky, Tom gave up and pocketed his worn out handkerchief. 

“I better get back, J.R. would be worried.” He muttered under his breath. 

As he tried to find his way to the terminal where he left J.R., he tried to scope out J.R.’s bonnet among the heads that he saw over the departure lounge. 

But his heart fell as he realized that he couldn’t see J.R.’s bonnet. His steps got quicker as he approached the spot where he left her. His heart sank lower when he saw only her shoulder bag was there, but J.R. was nowhere to be found. 

_Shit._

A surge of panic began to run through his whole body. He quickly went to the seat and picked up the bag. Thousand thoughts ran over his mind; what Martin might do with him if J.R. was lost, what would happen if he didn’t found J.R.; it was all going on his mind, and it’s making him more nervous.

But he tried to focus and what he needed to do was find J.R., she might have just been bored or distracted by something and that she is not far away. Tom tried to call out for her name and he looked from left to right. His legs kicked in into a brisk walk as he continued to search in the terminal for J.R.

He reached the information and there were two female security officers talking.

“Excuse me, Ma’am– Have you seen a girl pass by here?” He tried to sound calm but his words came out like he was desperate.

They shrugged and the older woman replied, “What did she looked like, Sir?”

Tom started to describe J.R. but they only shook their head saying  _no_.

“But you can announce her name through the–”

Before the other woman could finish her sentence, Tom walked away. He inhaled sharply and went on again with his search. The sense of doom was flashing all over his mind, and he could feel a heavy burden in his chest, his throat dried up even though he still wanted to shout out J.R.’s name.

Tom saw the time and it was already 10:40 and they might miss their plane. But at that time, he didn’t cared.

“J.R.!” He shouted again when he passed by boarding gate to a flight to Spain.

 _I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens to her._  A small voice came up on his head. But then he started to question himself even though panic was his main reaction at the moment.

_I think I’m afraid. I’m afraid to lose her. If this is the feeling of losing her, I don’t want to feel it ever again._

But after he passed a small stall of donuts, he noticed that he saw a bonnet same as J.R.’s enter another boarding gate. He immediately turned around and tried to chase the bonnet-wearing girl.

“J.R.! J.R., it’s Tom!” He shouted when he approached the boarding gate, but a flight stewardess and a receptionist tried to stop him.

“Sir, are you on this flight? Where’s your boarding pass?” The blonde flight stewardess stopped him.

“That girl, she’s with me! There, she’s getting inside, I can’t let her!” He shouted now, and there was a male security officer alerted because he was already causing a ruckus in the boarding gate and there were still other passengers trying to get on.

“Listen, she’s a disabled person, she has Samuel’s disease, she’s an amnesiac, let me through!” Tom declared and this time, the security officer approached, “ _Monsieur,_ I have to ask you to calm down.” The officer spoke, but when Tom saw the girl’s face wearing the bonnet same as J.R., he stopped as he saw that it was not J.R.

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t her.” He then inhaled to calm himself before the officer could take him away.

Tom apologized and he finally went away from the boarding gate. But then, he heard the flight to Agadir was announced, and J.R. was still not yet to be found. He walked a little farther and near the boarding gate to their flight.

“J.R… Where are you?” He sighed.

He could see in his mind eye, J.R. is crying and all alone. And no one in this airport would care why she is crying. And it would all be his fault if that is now happening to her.

 _I can’t give up like this._  Tom wanted to hit himself but instead he would try to get to the PA and make an announcement for J.R.

But as he was about to walk away from the corner he had just been, he saw her in front of the boarding gate, as if waiting.

Tom’s eyes bulged in surprise and his legs started sprinting for J.R.

“Julie Rose! Julie Rose Trillo!” He shouted as he ran, Tom even managed to run against some tourist, but when he got ahold of J.R.’s shoulder, there were tears streaming down her face. Tom caught her and enveloped her in a tight embrace.

But J.R. fought back and she hit his chest with her fists, “Why did you leave me that long?! Why did you leave me, Tom?!” She cried out.

He only held her wrists and drew her again into an embrace, “I won’t do it again, baby– I can’t leave you, Julie Rose, I love you so much. Do you hear me? I love you so much, I don’t even know what I would do if I left you.” He breathed out as he felt J.R.’s body so close to his and his chin placed on her forehead.

He felt her warm tears wet his shirt, but Tom didn’t cared, and he didn’t even cared that he had carelessly declared his love for J.R.

Then she lifted up her eyes, red and filled with tears, “You do love me?”

Tom smiled and let out a nervous laugh, “I’ve been loving you since the first time I saw you.”

She sobbed, “I love you too, Tom… So much.”

He then lifted her chin with his finger and looked at her, “Did you call me…  _Tom_?”

J.R. replied with a nod and a tear flowed down from her left eye. Tom couldn’t feel happier as now the girl he loves and hope to lose after all of this, feels the same way for him.

“Let’s go now. We have a flight to catch. I want to go to Morocco bearing this wonderful words from you.” Tom dotingly said as he tucked away a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“You won’t leave me again?” J.R. rubbed her eyes and wiped her nose with her mittens.

“Never again, baby.” He whispered and then he placed a kiss on her forehead.

Little did they knew, the flight attendants, receptionists and even security officers were watching them with their shared moment of love.

Tom had to smile, a little embarrassed, but he took J.R.’s hand and they started to walk towards the boarding gate to their flight to Agadir. He could only hope that this trip would go well, but at the back of his mind, he is thinking– Does J.R. really said that because she loves him as Tom, or does she still recognize him as Nathan?

Even it was the latter, Tom could only smile and feel the butterflies flutter violently in his stomach every time he would remember that J.R. had told him that she loves him.

 _What a sweet confusion._  He thought.


	9. Château Oasis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was sand, sun and an oasis for Tom and J.R. as they arrive in Morocco. But fun was never out of the equation. Only, could they keep each other close with the tough-looking bodyguards guarding their every move? Especially, with the recurrence of an old flame of Tom’s?

                                                    

The scent of Roses filled Tom’s nose as he had realized, J.R. had fallen asleep in his shoulder and he had his face on the top of her head.

Their 4-hour flight had been quick and Tom could almost see the approaching vast lands of desert. J.R. softly stirred beside him until she opened her eyes and saw the beige and brown horizon over the plane window.

“Wow. Where are we?  _Arrakis_?” And she let out a big yawn.

Tom’s eyebrows raised, he wondered if that was a reference from J.R..

“No, we’re approaching Agadir. McCord and Mason are expecting us at the airport.” He explained.

J.R smiled and then stretched out. The desert was then replaced by the city of Agadir.

They both felt the anticipation as the plane started to descend the city. Tom placed his arm around J.R.'s shoulder and he just couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.

He could still remember when she said that she loves him also. The butterflies on his stomach won’t go away every time he would remember J.R. saying that, but suddenly he was reminded of another memory that happened as the same way it is happening now with him and J.R.

It was when  _she_  told Tom that she loves him. She was crying that time, saying that her husband will never forgive her, but Tom assured her that she will be safe in his arms and finally, that he loves her. She replied back with the same words and affection, and there Tom knew he had fallen in love for the first time. He didn’t wanted to remember that because he was with J.R. at the moment. But one by one, he was starting to recall his moments with her and it’s making him feel confused. He doesn’t even want to mention her name in his thoughts.

When their plane finally landed, Tom held J.R.’s hand all the while, even when they were getting out of the plane.

The weather was exceptionally fine and the sun was still high in the sky at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. When they got inside the terminal for their luggae in the carousel, Tom turned on his phone as he remembered to call McCord.

But he felt too nervous to hear McCord’s voice again, that he only sent a text message saying that they have arrived. Notifications started to come up on his phone and he saw that he had an email. Tom read and it saw that it was from her; she has confirmed that she will receive them and be their guide in Tleta-Tagmoute.

He pocketed his phone and once their luggage came up, they got it out and they went to the arrival area.

Tom and J.R. were holding hands as he pushed the baggage cart. J.R. was rambling on that she misses Baguio City, but Tom only told her that she will be home again after their trip there in Morocco. As they approached the arrival area, Tom didn’t let go of J.R.’s hand. He can feel the heat radiating from her touch and he didn’t wanted that to go away.

But as soon as he saw two stocky and tall men standing over the railings of the arrival area, Tom had to let go of her hand as he saw McCord and Mason standing and holding out a signboard with their names. And to complete their look, they wore khaki shorts and plain colored shirts, as if they disguised to be tourists that are off to a Saharan holiday.

“Hey, here they are!” J.R. pointed out happily to them. Tom could only gulped down and cringed.

They approached McCord and Mason and they escorted them into a hall that leads outside of the airport.

“I trust your flight has been good, Ms. Julie Rose?” Mason asked politely of J.R.

“It’s a good flight, Tom held my hand all the while, he was so sweet.” She chimed.

Both men eyed Tom with both of their eyebrow raised. He could only stutter in reply, “Sh-She might get lost, that’s why…”

J.R. now asked, “Anyways, where are we going?”

Mason proudly spoke up, “We are to wait for our chauffeur from the hotel, Ms. Julie Rose. McCord made the arrangements.”

“The what?” McCord asked loudly.

Mason darted a ferocious look at McCord, “Didn’t you called up the hotel?”

“I thought you were going to do that!” McCord rumbled at his partner.

“I specifically instructed you to call them before Ms. Julie Rose and Mr. Hiddleston arrive!” He yelled out at McCord.

Tom and J.R. could only watch as the bulky men argue as if they were little boys fighting over who’s fault it is.

“Now call them! You blundering idiot.” Mason only muttered the last part but McCord still heard it.

He went over the corner to call up the hotel where Martin has instructed them to make a reservation, but after the call, his face looked worried.

“So? What did they said?” Mason asked in a tight tone.

“There won’t be any service vehicle available for the next four hours.” He grievingly replied.

Tom sighed and so did J.R., but she spoke up, “I guess we’ll wait, won’t we?”

McCord and Mason turned to J.R., both surprised, but Mason said, “We’ll find a way, Ms. Julie Rose.”

“Okay. We’ll be waiting I guess.” She sarcastically replied.

—–

_An hour later…._

They grumbled aloud as Mason and McCord argued over the map on which is the best way to go to Tleta-Tagmoute. 

Tom and J.R. sat down in the pavement of the parking lot as they listened to their discussion. 

“This road is better, it’s a shortcut.” Mason pointed out, his voice thick with an Irish-accent. 

“No. The other one is safer–” McCord tried to point out but was cut off by Mason, “But that way is longer!” 

The stubborn persistence of Mason topped off McCord’s grumbling voice.

Tom saw that the two was about to hit each other, just how like the _three stooges_ would hit each other comically. 

“Guys! Stop it, honestly. Let’s just go! Any service vehicle or car will do! I don’t want to wait for something that is not really coming.” J.R. shouted at them like a  _señorita,_  complaining to her servants. 

Just as McCord and Mason were apologizing to J.R., a man wearing a long white tunic and a turban in his head came to them. 

His skin was brown as mahogany, but his eyes were hazel and bright; he looked so old with his frail frame yet the smile on his face seems to take those years off.

“Mr. Thomas Hiddleston?” He asked, looking at Tom. 

Tom slowly stood up and said, “That’s me.” 

The old man nodded and replied, “Ms. Van Vorst sent me to take you to Tleta-Tagmoute. I’ll be your chauffer.” 

“Who’s he?” McCord interrupted. 

“He’s a friend. He’ll be our chauffer.” Tom explained to McCord. 

“But, we can’t risk Ms. Julie Rose’s safety by just having this old man drive us there.” Mason complained. 

“I’m not an enemy, my friend. I am a servant.” 

Tom couldn’t take the old man seriously, that maybe he might just give out a magic golden lamp that he can rub, but when he heard him mention just her surname, Tom knew he needed to trust the old chauffeur. 

“I know the best way.” The old man spoke and with a kind of Cheshire cat smile.

“Well, let’s go. Looks like our ride is here.” J.R. enthusiastically spoke up as he carried her sling bag on her shoulder.

But the two men hesitated to go, feeling that they didn’t trust this mystical-looking old man who just appeared suddenly.

“Now come on guys, what are you waiting for? Christmas?” J.R. encouraged, and there the two bodyguards had no choice but to follow J.R.

Tom helped J.R. with her luggage but Mason and McCord took care of Tom and J.R.’s heavier luggage.

They loaded it all up into the large van that the old man had brought. And in a matter of minutes, their hour-long wait had ended and they were off.

It was all the vast desert in the horizon as they drove on the road to Tleta-Tagmoute. Mason sat shotgun and beside the old man; Tom and J.R. sat together in the middle while McCord got stuck with all the luggage at the end of the van. 

The old man was singing something in _Berber_ , like an old Moroccan folk song. Then his song ended and he looked over to the windshield mirror, “I am Pierrot. I have not introduced myself before.” 

“What kind of a Moroccan name is that?” McCord asked arrogantly. 

“A kind of Moroccan name that my mother and father had given me.” Pierrot replied with a smirk.

To let off the awkward moment, Tom spoke up and asked Pierrot, “Uhm, where are you taking us again?” 

Pierrot replied, “To the  ** _Château Oasis_**.” 

“We didn’t made a reservation there.” McCord said. 

“You didn’t, but my employer has instructed that we take all of you us our special guests.” 

Mason followed, “Meaning?” 

“When Ms. Van Vorst takes special guests it means that it’s free of charge.” Mason and McCord exchanged looks and so did Tom and J.R. 

“So that’s why she replied to my e-mail?” Tom asked the old man. 

“Yes. And you responded also it seems.” Tom then sat back, it was like Pierrot knew who he is in Ms. Van Vorst’s life. 

“Well, sit back and maybe take a nap, our destination is an hour away.”

\-----

When all the desert and rocky beige mountain ranges ended, they all saw Tleta-Tagmoute, an oasis in the middle of the vast desert. When they entered the premises of the oasis, the van headed to the area of Château Oasis.

A rustic white-painted gate greeted them as they were permitted inside thearea of the hotel. The beautiful front garden were blooming with bougainvilleas, red and magenta dots in the shrubs. What completed the place was the Mediterranean feel of the landscape. 

When their van stopped at the entrance of the main villa, there was a woman, wearing a white long sleeved shirt and gray pencil skirt. 

As soon as Tom saw her from the distance, he felt his heart stop just like the first time she saw her. 

The engine of the van stopped, Pierrot opened the van doors for them; when Tom and J.R. got out, Pierrot introduced her. “Ms. Van Vorst, your special guests.”

Ms. Van Vorst was tall, her face looked almost like the Greek goddess, _Athena_. Her brown hair fell exquisitely down on her shoulders, and the air seemed to be blowing gently her way as if she was on a photo shoot.

When their eyes met, Tom couldn’t find the words to say, but luckily, she talked first,

“Welcome, I am  ** _Salima Van Vorst_** , owner of Château Oasis. I hope your journey has been good.” 

J.R. shook her hand first, but Tom hesitated, he feared that if he touched even just the tip of her fingers, he might reminisce of their moments together once again. 

“Tom, what a surprise.” She sighed with her mellifluous voice. 

“Believe me, Ima, the surprise is all mine.” He replied with a croak on his tone. 

Salima only smiled that almost blinded Tom, then she turned to J.R., “And who’s this lovely girl?” Salima endearingly pertained to J.R. 

“I’m Julie Rose, but you can call me J.R.” she replied giddily.

“Oh, are you Tom’s girlfriend?” Salima followed, but when J.R. was about to answer, Tom spoke instead. “Uhm– That’s a question that I’ll be answering–” 

Both women looked at Tom but then he added, “Later… We’re on a vacation.” He explained.

Salima crossed her arms across her chest, “I see. Anyways, welcome.” And like a goddess she almost floated around as she was about to guide them inside the château and give them a quick tour of the main villa.

There were a lot of people in the reception area, some are businessmen on holidays; families who are staying for tours, and all sorts of people that can be easily recognized as privileged ones.

“Right here is our reception area; we receive numerous guests every day because of our desert tour that we do for the guests.” Salima pointed out.

But out of a sudden, a little boy with platinum blonde hair came running to her, calling up, “Maman!”

Salima gasped in surprised and carried the boy in her arms and gave him kisses both cheeks. Tom heard Mason and McCord quietly sigh because of how adorable the boy is.

They both spoke in French and Tom could see that she is asking what he was doing there. But internally, he was wondering who’s the father of the child.

The boy then clung to Salima's shoulders as he shyly pried from his mother's hold. He asked something and Salima replied, cooing her son. Tom felt his heart stop as he stared longer at the boy; his face altogether looked like his mother, but his blue eyes and blonde hair, there he started to suspect if he might be the father. 

Salima then gently dropped her son down and introduced him also, "This is my little angel, Timothy." 

"Hi Timmy!" J.R. enthusiastically greeted at the boy who smiled sweetly and waved at her. Then Salima told Timmy to run along with his nanny. 

Afterwards, Salima escorted them into their rooms, and the way he told them how she had started her hotel business, but Tom didn't cared for any of that. He felt uneasy and breathless now that he's seeing her again. It was like just yesterday when she broke his heart. He was ready to risk it all for her, but the downside, she wasn't ready to sacrifice it all. 

He never understood why she did this, and he never asked her ever since they've parted ways. 

 _And I'm not even ready to ask her why._  He thought to himself.

After a few corridors of breathtakingly designed walls and arcs, they reached their room to which Salima gave Tom the key and also to Mason and McCord.

The bellboy behind them opened the room for them; the room itself had four other separate bedrooms. When they got inside, J.R. thought she would get lost with all the geometrical patterns of the walls and windows that is all authentic Moroccan.

She had never seen such a grand interior in all her life, and it was wonder seeing it now.

“Oh, Tom, I feel like a princess inside this room! It’s so wonderful!” She exclaimed at him and to everyone else as she inspected more of the rooms.

Salima observed Tom had a big smile on his face as he is watching J.R.. Right there she had deduced that her dearest Tom is in love again, and this time with J.R.

But then she noticed something with J.R., she looked to childish. She couldn’t put a finger on it if she is really like that or is there some other explanation.

Then, Salima announced something, “Dinner will be served after an hour, I expect my guests will be there. Take your time now to rest, I’ll see all of you later.” She gracefully turned her back to them and left the room, while Tom gave a tip to the bellboy who afterwards also left the room.

Mason spoke out then, “Ms. Julie Rose can have the large room; we’ll settle in here in the other smaller rooms.”

J.R. clapped her hands in deilght, “Yay! I get the bigger bed!” then she jumped around with her luggage following her as she dragged it out into the her room.

Tom could only snicker and shake his head as she can see how happy J.R. is. But then, McCord saw him smiling to which he darted a questioning look at Tom.

He hesitated to reply but then he pointed out, “J.R.’s just so happy it’s-- it’s infectious.”

Before McCord could say anything else, Tom took his luggage and went to the door on the left near the window area as his room.

The room had the color of cozy baby blue, but the design and accents are Moroccan. He sat at the edge of his bed and felt the softness, then he opened the windows to get the view of outside.

There, Tom slumped down into the bed covered in satin blankets with Arabesque motif.

 _Salima’s here and J.R.’s also here. What a beautiful disaster for me._  He sarcastically noted to himself.

\----

It was almost sundown and most of the hotel guests were already having their dinner at the large function hall. Tom and the gang were invited to the inner room at the left side of the function hall where they would have a private dinner with Salima.

J.R. wore her best dress that she brought; a sleeveless emerald-green satin dress that reaches to her thighs, while Tom wore a black suit partnered with a powdered-blue shirt that suited him best.

Pierrot lead them into the room and there their host was waiting with her son. Salima wore a white dress that made her smooth olive skin stood out, as her perfect figure.

“Welcome, I hope you have rested enough for the last hour. I hope you all don’t mind, my son will be joining us for dinner.” Salima interjected at Timothy while she is holding him.

J.R. spoke up, “No, that would be fun.” And she smiled at Tom who was still looking at the child. He noticed that now that they both have the same baby-blue eyes, and there he was starting to worry.

Mason stood near the table as did McCord, ready to take their seat, while J.R. was followed by Tom who was hesitating to get in.

As he stood there awkwardly near the door, Tom said, “How old is your son, Ima?”

“Oh?  _Mon petit ange?_  He’s 3 years old and growing.” Then she tickled Timothy at the neck that he giggle out loud.

Tom nodded in reply and there he finally had the conclusion that Timothy might be his son. It has been three years since their break up and he did remember that before they parted ways, they made love as a parting gesture to each other.

“So, who’s hungry? The food will be served momentarily. Please, everyone, you may take a seat.” Salima declared as she sat at the head of the table next to Timothy who is sitting in a high chair.

Mason and McCord sat beside each other, while Pierrot also joined them at the right side of the table. While Tom and J.R. sat adjacent to them at the left side.

Tom tried to hide his emotions as he can see that J.R. was enjoying her time at the moment, and that also he didn’t want to ruin tonight’s mood.

After a few minutes, the waiters and a chef came in to serve their dinner. They were all served with traditional Moroccan cuisine, from _Chicken Tagine_  for the main dish to couscous as the last course. It was served to them in a semi-formal style, just as how Moroccan would dine and it felt new to J.R. as she was used to  _eat rice with a viand_ * back home.

Their appetizers were  _Zaalouk_  served with bread. J.R. tasted the dish with bread and found it enticingly scrumptious.

“This is so good, Ms. Van Vorst.” J.R. complimented to Salima.

“Well, I knew you would all like it. I had Mr. Hazir, our head chef, prepare it for you and Tom-- For all of you.” She corrected herself.

She followed her last sentence with, “And please, J.R. darling, you can call me Salima.”

J.R. nodded in reply as both of them smiled at each other. Tom could feel the pressure on himself as he was at the middle of J.R. and Salima’s direction which made him feel like he was being torn apart from right to left.

Then after the appetizers, came the main dish, the Chickin Tagine.  Salima fed Timothy herself, there she noticed that Tom was watching them.

“I don’t leave my child to his nanny always. I see to it that I take care of him myself.” Then she wiped Timothy’s lips with the napkin.

No one spoke but only hummed in agreement because all was busy with their own food.

But J.R. spoke up politely, “You’re like my mama. She always took care of me, she never left me with my nanny, only one time when she went abroad with dad--” and there J.R. stopped talking, as a memory came to her mind.

It was the day Cassandra was going on a  _business trip_  with Robert. They were at the airport and she was hugging her mother. She was very beautiful, her hair was almost red because of the sun that beamed down on her, but her eyes were the greenest shade she had seen all her life.

“J.R.? Baby, are you okay?” Tom tried to snap J.R. out of her reverie.

“Oh. I’m sorry. Did I said something?” J.R. asked Tom as she only smiled back.

“Nothing much. You should continue eating.” He gently remarked.

At that moment, Salima took a mental note when Tom called her  _baby._

All of them continued their dinner, Timothy was quite an obedient child as he did not made any loud noise all the way the dinner. The dessert was served then Salima said, “After this, I would like to take all of you to the crater. It is not far from here.”

Mason, with food still at his mouth, spoke, “Crater?”

Pierrot replied, “It’s where a meteorite landed here in the oasis, hundreds of years ago, but it has created a wonderful basin near here.”

Salima turned her eyes to Tom, “Would that be all right for you?”

Tom gulped down his food and replied, “Sure... It would be fine.”

She smiled and continued on eating with Timothy.

\-----

After the dinner, their tour to the crater was cancelled as Salima saw that her guests should just rest instead. As all of them were about to leave the room, Salima called Tom to help her as Timothy had fallen asleep on his high chair.

J.R. paused to wait for Tom but he insisted for her to go ahead.

When they all of them have left, Tom gently carried the boy in his arms. There, he felt nervous and Salima saw it in his eyes.

“Ima, tell me... Is he my son?” He whispered.

She smiled and said, “No. He’s not yours.”

Tom breathed out slowly, “Who’s his father then?”

Salima took Timothy from Tom and carried him, “I met a man after we broke up. He was my lawyer,  _Roland_. I got separated from the Sheik, and we got together. and I immediately had Timothy.”

“Where is he now?” Tom asked.

“He’s in New York. We had to live apart first as nothing is yet finalized. The Sheik is still not accepting the divorce papers.”

Tom looked down as he understood now. “So... I was just your patsy so you could break away from the Sheik?”

Her brows furrowed and she replied, “Are you telling me that I used you?”

“Yes, isn’t that what I was for?” Tom now started to sound bitter.

Salima only shook her head and went quiet as she cradled Timothy in her arms.

“Why did you do that to me? I loved you.” Tom muttered while he was looking down.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

For a while, she gently laid down Timothy at the sofa nearby so she could talk to him, “I’m sorry, Tom. I really am. I did that to save you, I hurt you to save you. Because you know... You saved me first.”

Tom looked into Salima’s eyes, “I did. But you should’ve told me that a long time ago.”

Salima snickered lowly, “You know me... I’m full of surprises.”

Tom also laughed quietly, though it was quick for him to forgive her, he felt as if it had lifted a heavy burden from his chest.

But suddenly, as he stared longer into her eyes, he felt himself being pulled near her face. For him, she hadn’t aged a day since the last time they saw each other. As he felt her breath in his face and her lips getting closer to his, he tried to snap out.

“No... I can’t.” He gasped as he backed away from Salima.

He thought Salima would be frowning but she was laughing, “I knew it! You can’t do it... You’re in love again, my dear, and it’s with that girl. Am I right?”

Tom nodded and tried to shake out the dizziness he was feeling.

“I’m happy for you,  _ma chéri_.” She beamed at him.

“Thank you, Ima.” He placed a hand on her shoulder as they were both smiling at each other.

“So, is she a client?”

Tom shook his head and said, “Yes. But not with my previous profession. I was hired by her brother, Sir Martin McLeod, because I looked like her deceased boyfriend, and she needs me to remember because she’s suffering from Samuel’s disease; the disease she got because of her amnesia.” Tom then sat down on a chair near the long table.

“I see. And now you have fallen in love with her? Well, if only I have known you for the professional you are; but then, you did fell in love with a client before.” She joked.

Tom chuckled, “Yes, I did. But, I’m not allowed to fall in love with her. What attachment I can only have with her is purely professional. I can’t be with her when she gets healed. It’s in the contract.”

Salima placed a hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

“With what?” Tom pondered.

“That you always get stuck with women that don’t end up with you.” Salima worriedly remarked.

“That is true, Ima. I do always get that. But, that’s life. We don’t always get what we want.” Tom now brushed his hair up to the back of his head.

Salima could only pout at him, still feeling sorry for him.

“Now, let’s tuck little Tim to bed. I’ll help you with him.” Tom volunteered.

“Thank you, Tom.” Salima replied, and Tom could see the message within her words.

Maybe it must me Tom’s curse, to be wanted by every woman, but couldn’t end up with the woman he wants the most.

The night passed slowly, and it was understood that their desert tour would begin tomorrow. Tom found himself sitting at the window sill of his room, staring at the half moon that hanged in the night sky.

There Tom thought to himself, what more could happen tomorrow and what adventures he can have with J.R. Or maybe, what emotion will he encounter more for tomorrow.

 _Well, with J.R. by my side, I’m ready for anything._  He mused to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A traditional Filipino meal is always served with rice and a viand.


	10. Stargazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their desert expedition starts now, and Tom and J.R. are not alone; accompanied by the two, tough looking but secretly childish bodyguards, and their beautiful hostess, Salima. As they arrive at the crater, a campsite for stargazing, will they only find the stars or will the two of them find themselves falling deeper for each other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting two updates for today, so watch out for Chapter 11 in a few moments :D

                                                    

It was a sunny Saturday morning when J.R. woke up. 

J.R. found out that the men are still asleep. But still, she tried knocking on Tom’s room just in case he’s already awake. 

She heard no response. Afterwards, she went back to her own room so she could open the windows. She tried to look for something or a view to distract her but then she noticed the pool area that is situated just in front of the building. 

At the left side of the pool area surrounded with large hedges, she saw an area that is meant to be a private pool. There were people in the private area and it was Salima and Timothy. Salima was teaching her son how to swim, with all the floaters Timothy was wearing. 

J.R. watched them for a while, then Salima saw her from the window. A smile stretched across her face, then she shouted, “J.R.! Come over! Swim with us!” 

J.R. was hesitated at first, so she didn’t replied, but Salima insisted, “Come on! Bring your swimsuit!” She encouraged J.R. 

The idea of swimming excited her, and so, “Yes, I’m coming over!” She shouted back. 

J.R. immediately dug out from her bag the salmon colored bikini that she brought with her. As soon as she took it out, she changed into it and also brought a large maroon towel with her. Her steps were quick along the staircase and into the exit that leads to the pool area; some of the guests saw her and all of the men couldn’t help but to turn their heads into her direction, because she was just too beautiful not to be noticed. 

When she reached the pool area, she went to the fenced pathway that lead to the tall hedges. She saw Salima holding out the large wooden door, waiting for her. 

Salima waved her hand for her to enter, “Come in, J.R.!” 

J.R. ran into the doorway as ecstatically as she could, and when she got inside, the hedges made the private pool look like a secret garden in the midst of the hotel. 

Timothy was sitting over the edge of the shallow part of the pool as he waited for his mother and J.R. to come over. 

“Oh here’s little Timmy.” J.R. gently patted Timothy at the head, then he replied, “Hi.” 

“She’s the girl you told me about, isn’t she, Timmy?” Salima asked him. 

“Yup! She’s the cute one, together with– _Daddy longue-jambes_?” 

J.R.’s head tilted in curiosity as to what he meant with those words. 

“Oh, yes! Tom does have long legs.” Salima chuckled. 

Then J.R. whispered to Salima, “What did he said, Salima?” 

Salima sat beside Timothy then she said, “Daddy longue-jambes; Daddy Long Legs; That’s what he calls Tom.” 

J.R. slowly smiled then spoke, “Yeah. He does have that. He’s like a giraffe, though, so tall… But so…” Her words trailed off as she was reminded of Tom, not just his towering height that they are now discussing, but she was reminded everything about him. How his baby blue eyes would look almost pale in the light; his wonderful blonde hair that looks so soft that she wanted to touch it all the time, and the bright smile he always wear whenever they are together. 

She only got pulled out into reality again when Timothy splashed the water with his feet. Salima was trying to analyze what is it about J.R., and how could her amnesia affected her this way. J.R. looked away, but after a while, she spoke up, “Tell me something about you, Salima.” 

She smiled at J.R. and she pulled Timothy closer to her, J.R. also sat by them at the edge of the pool. 

“Well, my friends call me  _Ima_ ; I live near Agadir but I’m mostly here in Chateau Oasis with my baby boy, uhm– What else?” 

Then J.R. followed, “Tell me about your parents.” 

A cool breeze blew through them, and there Salima breathed in slowly as she started to talk. 

“My mother,  _Tallulah_ , was a daughter of a Sheik; my grand-père . She married my father,  _Johann Van Vorst_ , a diplomat from France, but he was half-Dutch. They met when he was 25, while my mother was 17. It was love at first sight, my maman said. Not for her but for papa. It was quite a love story actually.” Salima sighed as she flashed a gentle smile at J.R.

Then she continued, “Grand-père Emir… He never wanted papa for maman, but then, they still got married and had me. I only knew after I came back from the boarding school on Paris… If my mother won’t marry a Sheik–a mistake my maman made, my grand-père said, her only daughter would.” 

J.R.’s eyes widened when she heard that from her, so she mumbled out,  “What happened then? You married a Sheik?” 

Salima only smiled and nodded as she placed her chin on Tim’s head. 

She inhaled sharply and said, “I married a Sheik. His name is  ** _Sheik Issam bin Abed Bashir_**.”

Then, she looked away for a long time, as if there was a surge of nostalgia that had just filled her. And it was that had just happened, the memory of her wedding day to the Sheik came back to her like a blurred super-8 film playing on her mind eye. 

He was so strapping and handsome in a suit that resembled a  _sherwani;_  she thought that even though she never knew him, he would be the man of her dreams. But after their wedding night, everything changed. All the promises he had promised,it turned all to floating ashes in the wind, ready to disappear.

She could still remember when she held up her head with all of his infidelity; she was young then and didn’t understood why he always did it, until she realized that making him stay didn’t do anything with her youth, it was that she couldn’t give him an heir. But it was all clear now, it was his own problem and not hers.

Then, she remembered Tom; wearing a navy-blue suit that hugged his flawless figure, his resplendent smile blinding her eyes.

He was her savior, even though he had another client at that time, he responded to her. Somehow she thought--did Tom knew she needed saving from her life and husband or is it just his gift when he knew a lost soul is in trouble? Just as much he wanted to save this girl that she is talking to now; how he wanted to have J.R.’s memories to be restored, even though it would mean that he would not see her again?

Salima was taken back to the present when Timothy stood up and started to pull her away, complaining that he wants now to play with his Ipad and then to drink milk from his bottle until he falls asleep.

She giggled, her little angel acting up adorably, while J.R. looked on, not understanding his French. There, she picked Timothy up and gave J.R. an apologetic look, “I’m really sorry, J.R., my little angel here wants to go upstairs. Can I leave you here?”

J.R. nodded in reply, “It’s all right. I’m okay. Maybe I’ll just go and have a swim.” She nodded to the bright blue of the pool.

She placed a hand on J.R.’s shoulder, “Let me tell you something, J.R., you’re lucky to have Tom in your life. Please, don’t forget about him.”

That was the only thing she could say to J.R., and she wished that it meant something for her. There she left with Timothy in her arms, and J.R. was still on the edge of the pool, thinking what did Salima meant.

An image of a man was on her mind, and sometimes he would look different to her in her mind eye, he would be brunet then blond; his name would be Nathan then Tom. It was as if she was looking through a kaleidoscope, the man changes from one to the other. But it was if they are just one and the same.

To get off the things from her mind, J.R. finally dove under the water. As she was underwater, Tom, who saw Salima and Timothy making their way back, was told that J.R. is alone in the private pool.  When he got there, he saw her trying to get out of the pool but failed as she slipped.

“J.R.!” He exclaimed as he ran near her.

“Oh. I’m okay. I just slipped a little.” She tried to sound fine, but actually she hit her knee at the edge of the pool.

“Are you sure?” Tom worriedly looked over, but he saw that she was wearing a bikini that replaced his worry with something else, he tried brushing away the impure thoughts that started tickling his mind.

“How about you swim with me right now?” She sang it sweetly to him, that he felt like she was a siren leading him to his death by seducing him into the water.

“Well I can’t, J.R., I’m  not wearing a swimwear, just this–” He pointed out to his clothes, shirt and a knee-length shorts, “I’ll just help you get out of there.”

J.R. cocked her head to the side, “Okay, fine.”

But when Tom was about to pull her out, J.R. quickly pulled him first and there, he fell into the water and in her arms.

Tom was paddling with his arms but was gasping for air at the same time when he got into the water, but he steadied himself and he felt her arms around his body, embracing him as they floated on the water.

He felt her body once again, close to his, as if they were really meant to do that every time. His heart pounded not because of the sudden shock but because this beautiful creature is holding him so tight and staring at him as if she is searching his very own soul.

“Gotcha.” She giggled.

“Why you little minx. Let me get you–” And there he tried to tickle her neck with kisses but J.R. suddenly let him go to defend herself.

“No! Stop it!” She laughed and screamed that caused them to have a splash battle at the pool.

For the next moments, they teased and trifled with each other, like children in a lovely summer day. Tom felt like heaven, just having J.R. like this. No tricks, no pretensions or flirting. Just him and her, exchanging their portion of time just for each other.

To J.R., if Salima told her not to forget about Tom, then she won’t. Not now when she’s so happy with him, that all of her migraines and bad dreams go away just because of him.

As they continued playing, Mason and McCord looked on from the windows.

Mason, who was leaning on a wooden sill, remarked, “This boy is in for a good walloping if Sir McCleod found out about this.”

Then McCord, who was drinking from his coffee, replied, “Not if Sir McCleod finds out.”

They exchanged looks and shrugged as they continued watching the two.

—–

It was past 1 o’clock in the afternoon when they finished getting ready for their desert tour. As Salima had promised, she would be their tour guide to the meteorite crater that is part of the hotel’s desert tour. 

They host private tours into the Sahara where the crater is; It is a tourist destination also but not known to all, but Salima doesn’t give out the tours herself for the other tourists, this time, she did it just for them.

She didn’t brought Timothy with her this time because it would take them until tomorrow for their return and she doesn’t want to exhaust her son on the tour.

Meanwhile, Tom was just filling his pack with some essentials, maybe a sunscreen, just in case; two shirts for changing and snacks. Over his door, which is adjacent to J.R.’s room, he could see J.R. lounging around her bed, done with packing and just waiting for her companions. What J.R. had brought is a smaller sturdy knapsack the contained only a jug full of water and some biscuits, Salima told them not to carry much as their supplies will be with them in their truck. 

Mason came out of his room and asked around, “Is everybody ready?”

Then a knock came onto the door, he opened it and found Pierrot smiling at them, “Miss Van Vorst is waiting for you at the lobby.”

Tom pop his head from his door and answered him instead, “Yeah sure, tell Ima we’re on our way.”

Pierrot left and Mason closed the door behind. The next moments, all of them shuffled to get down to the lobby. While Tom and J.R. walked beside each other, with J.R. holding Tom’s hand.

When they got downstairs, they found Salima waiting for them. She was wearing a beige vest and a white long-sleeved shirt, paired with a dark-gray fitted pants and brown boots; she gave off the look of 30′s actress wearing an explorer’s outfit.

“Are you guys ready?” She beamed at them.

“Ready as we will ever be.” J.R. replied cheerily.

“Well, our service vehicles are waiting for us.” Then she pointed to the two 4x4 vehicle that was parked in front of the hotel.

The 4x4 trucks, were open at the back and are available for four people. The drivers were already on their seats, including Pierrot who will be driving the vehicle at the front. J.R. excitedly ran into them, picking the truck on where she would ride on. She chose the front truck, and she called out to Tom, “Let’s ride together, Tom!”

Before following J.R. into the truck, he looked over to Mason and McCord, just to see their reaction, “Then we will be riding at the second one.” McCord replied indifferently.

Salima only shrugged at Tom, “Looks like you two will be riding with me.”

J.R. had placed herself comfortably at the back, when Tom climbed over, he placed their packs at their feet. Salima sat shotgun to Pierrot, like a head of an expedition where she only knows the way.

In a matter of minutes, the gates of Château Oasis opened for their vehicles and the convoy moved out of the hotel grounds. At first, they passed over the town where the local markets are situated. After a half-hour of navigating across the markets, they are now met with roads that pierced through beige and brown terrain of the Sahara.

Pierrot steadily drove on with the 4x4, like a professional, even though he looked too old to be driving one of those.

J.R. was quiet for a while as she watched the view outside, changing from curved rocky mountains to sand plains that looked surreal for her.

Then Tom spoke up, just to break the quietness, “Where are we going again, Ima?”

“In  _Igherm-Tata_ , where the rocky mountains are, beside that is the crater, named  _Ea’ Alrrajul Aleajuz_ , or in French,   _Bol de vieil homme_.”

Tom spoke, “The old man’s bowl?”

“Yes. Why it’s called like that, I would never know.” Salima giggled, as if it was an ancient joke to the people of Tleta-Tagmoute, that nobody ever knew why the place was named that way.

“Would we set camp there?” Tom asked now.

“No, there is a station there already; an  _outpost_  just for the sake of stargazing.”

When J.R. heard this, she suddenly felt something familiar with the word,  _stargazing_. But she dismissed it for a while as she failed to remember when or how she have come to know that word.

Their journey to the crater took them for two hours, as it was kilometers away from Tleta-Tagmoute. They traveled south, where only rocky and same-looking mountains had surrounded them. J.R. thought that it would be difficult to get lost in a desert, because everything looked like the same and it would be hard to get out of a large labyrinth of sand and mountains, especially if you don’t have the right supplies with you.

But within that two hours, she either slept at Tom’s shoulder or talked to him, asking if they are there yet.

Little did they know, at the rear view mirror, Salima was watching them silently. She could still remember when Tom was that sweet and dedicated to her. How he was her guardian angel in every minute, and how she felt also when she slept in that same shoulder.

But she took it all for granted, at that time. She did used Tom to make a way for her to leave the Sheik; now that she sees them this way, she thought, if she had not done that to Tom--would she and Tom be still together? As she can see how J.R. and Tom blossomed when together, Salima couldn’t desire Tom to belong to her anymore, but she can only wish that Tom's happiness may never end.

When a curved mountain range appeared right at the horizon, Salima turned to them to announce, “We’re almost here, just another outcropping and we’ll see the outpost.”

And just as what Salima said, they passed by a great rock outcropping and there, a long flat-roofed house that looked almost like a shed, stood in the middle of a massive crop of a crater in the desert ground. Their vehicles approached and trailed dust into the old man’s bowl, and when they reached the edge, they stopped.

Pierrot killed the engine and said, “We have arrived.”

Then Salima replied something in French to him, thanking him. The rest of the convoy got out of their vehicles, but Mason and McCord helped their driver,  _Aicha_ , take out a crate of their supplies from the back of the 4x4.

Salima then walked near to the shed and called out a man’s name. No one answered then she said with a smile, “I’m going to introduce you to someone.”

A man wearing a Marsala-colored long-sleeve shirt, folded up to his elbows, came out of the back of the house.

“ _Ma cheri!”_  The man exclaimed as soon as she saw Salima.

Salima gave him a tight hug and they placed kisses in both of their cheeks, in a very effeminate manner.

“Everyone, this is my genius cousin, the astronomer _Dr. Henri Deneuve_.”

“Hello! And please, Ima, stop calling me a genius!” He giggled.

One by one, they shook hands with the Doctor, first was J.R., “Nice to meet you, Dr. Deneuve.”

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you too– and here’s a familiar face, how do you do, Tom?”

Tom cringe a little bit as Henri never forgot who he is. “I thought that you don’t know me anymore.” Tom mumbled.

“Well, how would I forget a handsome face such as yours?” He replied as he stroked Tom’s cheek affectionately, his French accent was deep in his tongue.

Henri was not bad-looking himself, as his hair is well-groomed and his face, oval-shaped and smooth and very welcoming. But his olive-green eyes tied it all together, the expressive piece of his appearance. J.R. noticed that he and Salima have the same eyes, there she finally saw the resemblance and the familiarity between the two.

Then Henri shook hands and took Pierrot in an embrace, as if he was an old uncle of Henri’s. But when he saw McCord, his smooth face bloomed with surprise. He didn’t bothered to shake hands with Mason, but when he reached out for McCord’s hand, “Oh, hello there, brown-eyes, where have you been all my life?” He sensuously insinuated.

“Uhm– What?” McCord replied, confused.

Salima snickered as they all looked on, but before Henri could melt McCord with his intent gaze, she intervened, “Uhm, my dear, we’re here for stargazing.”

Henri snapped out of his fascination with McCord and turned to his cousin, “Such a wonderful timing, the stars are very much aligned at this time of the year. A good time for stargazing.”

Then Salima and Henri went on to talk more with each other, it was obvious that they had not seen each other for a long time.

They were followed by the others but J.R., who was curious, asked Tom,  "Tom, can I ask--why is he...?" 

Tom chuckled and replied, "Yes, and he once told me, _as queer as heck_. When we first met, I thought he was going to flirt my pants off, but luckily, Salima rescued me." 

J.R. laughed at the thought of Henri trying to seduce Tom. 

"Good thing you weren't swept off of your feet." She giggled and punched his sidearm.

"Nah. If I were, I wouldn't have met you." Tom then brushed a hair away from J.R.'s cheek that made her blush. 

They followed along as the men at the back carried a wooden crater of supplies of food and water for the night and the day next. They were to return tomorrow afternoon and there, J.R. and Tom would also return to Baguio City. 

As Tom have thought about it, it has been a month and a half since he got into Martin's employment, but it felt like a lifetime to him, because every time he was with J.R., it seems like time itself stops. But as much as he enjoys the present with J.R., he fears that time will be snatched up from them, and that J.R. will eventually just forget about him. He doesn't know how, but his fears outweighs his beliefs. 

Tom tried to shrug away the pessimistic thoughts away, when they entered the long house that only reach the ground level. It was a house with a very crisp and clean interior, the walls and ceiling are all off-white, and there two rooms; one for a bedroom and the second, a small bathroom. 

There is a counter and kitchen at the back-end of the house, but what caught their attention was the back door of the house that leads to a campsite where Henri had set up his telescope, a meter-tall and mounted steadily on the ground. 

"Wow! What is that?" J.R. saw it, like the telescope was a shiny new toy that she must try.

Tom let her go to the telescope that he loosened his hand from hers; Mason and McCord noticed the attachment between the two, only that, they stayed indifferent but still protective, because they weren’t just there to have a holiday but to do their job, regarding only to J.R.’s safety.

Henri started to explain about the telescope, “It’s a Catadioptric telescope, darling. Because of this, I can observe planets, stars or nebulae better; I can either view it by lens or mirror--” He continued explaining as he showed J.R. how to calibrate the telescope.

He even made her look through the eyepiece and even in the afternoon sun, she saw something in the middle of the wide blue sky, and it is the shadow of the crescent moon.

“I saw it! It’s so cool!” She clapped her hands after seeing it, her smile was from ear to ear. All the people around her couldn’t help but to be infected with her joy as they all chuckled and smiled at her.

She was like a child who is just starting to discover the world. When in her mind, she is between of a child and a woman.

“Well, wait till you see the night sky here, darling, it is so much better.” Henri said with a great deal of enthusiasm the same as with J.R.

Salima stepped forward, “How about we prepare our supper for the night? So that we can stargaze with a full stomach?” She endearingly proposed to everybody.

“Ma’am, McCord and I can handle grilling the steak.” Mason volunteered.

But Henri quietly added, “I’ll handle McCord, if he wants me to--”

Salima pinched Henri, “My dearest cousin, will you please behave?” She whispered to him.

"Okay fine!” Henri pouted and rolled his eyes at Salima.

Tom could only shrug and J.R. was holding her laugh as they watched the situation.

“Let’s do it guys, we only have a few hours left before sundown.” Like a motivational leader, Salima gave out the orders and in a matter of minutes, all of them were helping prepare supper.

All of them were busy, J.R. and Tom helped each other peel the potatoes near the door of the house as they sat at the porch, while Pierrot, along with Mason and Aicha, lit the grill and handled the steaks.

Salima and Henri huddled to each other on the kitchen, and away from their companions, still catching up for the last three years that they missed.

“How’s Roland?” Henri asked as he picked the herbs to be used for the soup that they will prepare.

“He’s all right. Tim misses him. I miss him.”

Henri sighed, “Well, I see you’ve got Tom again. Have you fixed everything with him like I told you?”

She smiled as she took a bowl for the herbs, “Everything’s fixed. I’ve unloaded my burden of the past.”

“But, who’s that girl he’s with?” He asked, curious and also wondering about J.R.

“Tom only told me small details. J.R.’s an amnesiac that had caused her to have Samuel’s disease. He was hired by her brother, you know that rich CEO of a tech company-- Martin McLeod?”

He nodded and spoke, “Yes, I know him. I’ve met him once on a conference in Switzerland.”

“He was hired to bring her memories back, the reason why is that he looks like her deceased boyfriend.”

“That’s tragic, Ima.” Henri sighed.

“I know, chéri.”

“But then, Samuel’s disease? Is there such a thing? I’m no physician or a neurologist, but-- it seems like she’s like that because of something else.”

Salima paused for a while and gave Henri a questioning look.

He held his hands up and shrugged, “Just an observation, though.”

“Well you do love observing, darling.” She affectionately replied to her cousin.

Henri chopped the spring onions and continued, “Does he love her? I mean it’s obvious but I had to ask.”

Salima didn’t said anything for a while, as she now got another chopping board to chop the herbs. “Yes. He loves her, and I think very much.”

“That doesn’t seem to bother you.” He teased Salima, then prepared the pan and the casserole to be used for the soup.

She pinched him at the sides which tickled him, a childish retaliation.

“Of course it doesn’t. I don’t love Tom anymore, you know that. I won’t forget that he became a part of my life, a big part actually... What I love right now is that he’s happy.”

He laid out the casserole in the counter and said, “That’s good. That’s very good of you, Ima.”

They continued to cook for the soup that will be partnered with the steak; Tom and J.R. turned out with the potatoes that they have peeled and they also helped Henri to cook for the soup.

For the next two hours, all they did was prepare supper, and also drink a few sips of wine that Henri had stored in a cooler at the back of the bedroom, and then exchange some stories.

The steak was done just before the sun could sink into the horizon, while the soup was kept hot. They were to eat at the bonfire at the back of the house, near Henri’s telescope. And after all their preparation, they all sat down into the bonfire that was lit up, until then, the sun had gone down and the indigo clouds had blanketed the skies.

They started eating until it was all dark and there the stars have revealed themselves to all of them inside the circle of the bonfire. They placed quilts and cushioned but almost worn-out comforters in the circle so they could sit comfortably outdoors.

They ate heartily the steak with the soup, feeling the warmth of the meal as the coldness of the desert had begun to set in. J.R. sat beside Tom along the circle; Salima sat adjacently to them, but on Henri’s right side while McCord sat on his left and was free to flirt with him all the while they ate.

Mason and Aicha sat together, and it was evident that they are attracted to each other, but Pierrot who sat beside them doesn’t seem to care as he casually slurped on his soup and chewed on his steak.

Henri and McCord was the first one to finish their supper, and Henri announced, “Dom tells me that he plays the guitar.” then he placed his hand on McCord’s lap, looking at him so softly in the eye.

“Well, it’s just a hobby.” McCord shyly replied as he took a sip from a cup of coffee.

“I’ve got a guitar inside the house, maybe you can play us something?” Henri encouraged, then he stood up. ready to go inside, “I’m going to get it, wait here guys.” Henri started walking towards the house.

“I didn’t know you played guitar.” Mason spoke after taking a spoonful of potatoes in his mouth.

“Well, you never asked, man.” McCord replied.

Henri came back with the guitar already removed from the case and he handed it to McCord.

“What do you want me to play?” McCord asked, it seems that he’s no more bookish in Henri's presence and is also on to Henri, and the flirting are mutual between the two.

“Something... Something lovely, like a nice love song.” Henri’s voice sounded husky as he mumbled it sweetly to McCord.

“Okay then.” McCord replied. He started strumming an intro of a song, it was the song  _Born for You_.

He also sang it and they were all surprised that McCord sings and he has a good voice.

Then came when he sang the chorus;

 _That I was born for you/It was written in the stars_  
Yes, I was born for you/And the choice was never ours  
It's as if the powers of the universe, conspired to make you mine  
And til the day I die/I bless the day that I was born for you

All the while, Tom couldn’t take his eyes off of J.R. while she listened. If only he could sing the song for her, it would match how he really feels for her. There is just something in him that tells him that he is born for J.R.

McCord strummed the final chord and afterwards, they all found themselves applauding to McCord.

Henri was still wide-eyed awed, that he just stared at McCord for a few seconds more, then he spoke, “Will you please marry me? I’m actually single right now, and you’re just damn right perfect.”

They all whooped and cheered at them, but McCord can only shyly laugh but Henri insisted, “No, please marry me.”

After their laughs died down, Salima looked up and saw that the skies are now full of stars.

“Oh, Henri, we should put out the bonfire, I think it’s time.” She excitedly insisted.

She nodded to Pierrot and he started to put the bonfire out with the sand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, in a matter of a few minutes, you will witness an actual planetarium. So, adjust your eyes to the darkness, and witness the brightness of the stars.”

Salima narrated as if she was an actual planetarium guide. When the fire was now put out, the darkness engulfed them all, but after a while, blankets and blankets of glittering stars appeared in the sky, like a black velvet curtain studded with diamonds that glisten and wink in every second.

J.R. held her breath when she saw the stars. She didn’t said anything, she just looked at the sky and beheld the beauty that had unfolded at the top of them.

“Magnificent, isn’t it?” Henri whispered, also looking up at the sky.

For a long time, none of them spoke a word, but observed the space clouds glittered with stars.

There, Tom found himself wanting to hold J.R.’s hand, but he stopped himself from doing it, but only quietly thought to himself,

 _I hope this brings all your memories back._  

For a while, J.R. tried to find Tom’s face in the dark. When their eyes met, she found him looking at her and smiling gently at her.

“They’re so beautiful, Tom.” She whispered.

“You’re more beautiful than them, baby.” He whispered back.

Tom didn’t broke his gaze for J.R., he didn’t wanted to, he just wanted to look at the face of the woman he loves, for a long time.

One by one, the people around them started to leave, because they have noticed that the two of them needed the space. Aicha left with Mason and they walked back to the house and they were followed by Pierrot who went back to the 4x4 to stand guard for the night. While Henri and McCord walked around the sand, side by side, under the starry night.

Salima was the last one to leave. Even though it was dark, her eyes could still see their silhouette--two figures sitting together, close to each other. She sighed and stretched out. Salima made sure that no garbage was left in the bonfire before leaving. She didn’t said a word and she let Tom and J.R. look up in the skies.

When she walked out of the circle, she looked back at them, and they were immovable from each other. She quietly thought,  _Good luck, Tom._

When they all left, Tom felt the space between him and J.R., which felt so close yet so far. For a while, he let the chirps of the creatures in the desert sound off, until he felt J.R. sit in more closely to him. 

“I didn’t know that the desert could be so cold at night.” J.R. whispered while rubbing her hands together. 

“Oh, are you cold?” He asked. 

“Yes, Tom.” She replied as she tucked her hands under her armpits. 

“Let me get you an extra quilt or something–” but Tom was interrupted with J.R. clearing her throat, 

“No. I mean… I really want you to hold me.” As if he heard little cherubs singing into his ears when J.R. said that. 

“Oh… Okay–Sure.” He mumbled as he placed his arm over her shoulder and his free hand held her cold hands, “Better?” 

J.R. placed her head on his shoulder and sighed, “Much better.”

Tom could hear every cell in his body shout for joy, his heart drumming loudly as usual whenever he is near her.

For the last week, he had been alone with J.R., sure they had the supervision of the bodyguards, but this was the first time he was left alone with her. And he feels like a teenager sitting beside his first crush.

He held on to J.R. for a few minutes; he could feel the cold from his outside arm, but the warmth at the arm that is wrapped around J.R.

J.R. then started to talk, “Tom, I want to thank you.”

“For what, J.R.?” He replied.

“For this. For taking me here, that I met Salima and Henri and Pierrot. I got to see my best friend again; We went to Paris and rode that carousel--I want to thank you for everything.”

She placed her free hand on his, and continued, “I want to thank you for being here with me. You’ve been the best traveling buddy in the whole wide world.”

“Well, you are most welcome, J.R.” Tom replied, a little abashed with J.R. thanking him.

“But there’s one thing you haven’t done for me, you know.” J.R. now sounded like she was complaining, and Tom could see her reaction despite the faint illumination of the stars.

“What’s that?” He wondered.

J.R. shifted in her place and faced Tom, “You haven’t kissed me yet.”

Tom’s eyes widened and he wishes that J.R. didn’t see his reaction. He tried to look for the right words to say, because if he would be asked, he really wanted to kiss her; ever since he had found that he is in love with her, but if he ever want Martin’s wrath to fall down upon him, he would just do it right away. Of course, he doesn’t want to breach his contract.

“Uhm-- Kiss you? Why have you even thought about that?” Tom babbled, hoping that would J.R. would now change the topic.

J.R. sat up and held Tom by the shoulders, “Tom, I want you to kiss me. Please.”

Her eyes sparkled and her lips looked ripe for the kissing, or picking, and Tom was mustering all of his strength that is stopping him from kissing her.

He could feel his chest heave and his heart rise on his throat. Then his eyes found her lips in the dark; Tom wanted to go for it, and she was politely asking for it. Once again, his conscience was battling with his emotions inside his mind.

 _Don’t you even dare! For the love of every saint in the heavens, don’t do it, Tom!_ His conscience screamed at him internally.

But the next moments surprised him; as his mind told him not to, his body was doing the opposite thing. He prepared himself and he started to move close to J.R.’s face. Inch by inch he moved his face nearer to hers, until he can feel her warm breath against his cheeks.

J.R. stopped pouting as she can see that finally Tom would fulfill the deed. Tom paused when their faces leveled, his eyes searched through hers in the dark. 

Then out of a sudden,

“Let me get you a quilt. It’s good to stargaze when you’re not cold.”

And there, Tom left J.R. for a while as he walked back to the house.

J.R. grunted in frustration and trashed the quilt that she was sitting on.

But with Tom, he felt like he was about to collapse because of the tension and the pressure he has to handle, just because he is trying to stop himself from kissing J.R.

 _Don’t be stupid, man. You can’t go on around and kiss her. You’ll just hurt yourself, and also hurt her. Don’t give her some false hope. Remember that you’re here because it’s your job._ He reminded himself.

Tom doesn’t know why is doing this to himself, tormenting himself then making himself fall head over heels for J.R.. He leaned against the wall of the house, not visible from J.R., and he tried to catch his breath.

 _You old dog. What have you gotten yourself into?_  The only question he can ask of himself.


	11. The Pink House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are now going home to Baguio City, and they have now to say goodbye to Morocco. Tom and J.R. are getting closer than ever. But the only problem is that, are their feelings ever mutual?

                        

The drive back to Agadir had been quiet, as most of them had fallen asleep. They were back again in their same places as the first time they have arrived in Château Oasis.  Mason sat shotgun beside Pierrot; Tom and J.R. sat at the middle, and McCord sat at the back with the baggage.

While on the travel back to Agadir, Mason kept Aicha’s plaid handkerchief, placed carefully at the breast pocket of his jacket. He remembered how Aicha had embraced him before they left. He is sure he will never forget about her, now that she has a special place in his heart.

McCord was on his phone at the back of the van and he was texting Henri. He was too, saying his goodbye. McCord is not sure if what he had with Henri is just a fling or something he has to watch out for.

But for Tom and J.R., everything is complicated.

He’s sure that when they come back to Baguio City, he has to pretend once again that he doesn’t feel anything for J.R., he has to do it if he doesn’t want Macky to notice anything about them.

Then in his mind-eye, he could see how Salima bid him goodbye. She planted a kiss on his lips, but not a sensual one, but a kiss from a dear friend. He can still feel her embrace until now, and her words in his ear.

_Take care of that girl. Love her, no matter what happens._

He only nodded in reply, not because they were in a hurry to leave but he didn’t know what words he should say to her.

As the van stopped at the airport parking lot, they started to unload their luggage. Before they could get inside, J.R. said goodbye to Pierrot, embracing him like she is saying goodbye to a grandfather. 

“You be good, Ms. J.R..” Pierrot said. 

J.R. nodded in reply, “I will, take care, Pierrot.” J.R. gently let go of Pierrot. 

Tom took J.R.’s luggage, then Mason and McCord got ready to walk towards the airport entrance. All the while they prepared for boarding, Tom didn’t said a word to J.R. He was still thinking of the night when J.R. asked him for a kiss. 

He could still remember how his muscles tensed, and his heart drummed loudly inside his chest. And especially the bittersweet moment when he was in between kissing her and avoiding her. Tom could still remember the regret; how he wanted to hit himself for not doing it, for missing out something so exquisite and amazing. But he knew he would regret it more if he did kissed her. He would just resent himself for doing it.

 _Are you mad? You’re taking advantage of J.R.’s state if you kissed her. It won’t be fair at all._  Tom scolded on to himself, internally. 

They arrived at the checking area, Mason handled the baggage as the rest of them waited for boarding.  J.R. and Tom sat beside each other, then finally, J.R. spoke first. 

“I’ll miss, Timmy. He’s quiet, but he’s a wonderful kid. Then I’ll miss Ima. She’d been so good to us, you know.” She spoke as if there was melancholy in every word. 

Then her tone raised, “But I’ll miss Henri too! Gosh, he was so–fun. Fun to be with. I hope McCord also feels the same way towards him.” 

McCord sported a poker face, as if he didn’t heard every word about Henri and him, as he sat just beside Tom in the departure lounge. 

J.R. slumped on her seat and sighed, “I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here.” 

“Why would you say that?” Tom worriedly replied. 

“I hate that place. It’s cold out there. Too gloomy. I hate remembering how sad it is there.” 

But with that last words J.R. mentioned, Tom tried to hide his shock. She said that she  _remember_  things, and Tom couldn’t help but follow her statement, “What do you remember? In Baguio, I mean.” 

J.R. shrugged, “Some things. But, it’s… It’s not clear. Bad things, I guess.” 

She went silent as she thought about those things. But as she concentrated to remember what are those bad memories that she can’t recall, she started to frown and rub her temples. 

“It’s hard to–to remember… I can’t–” She grimaced as she felt dull pounding pain in her head. 

“J.R., baby, are you okay?” Tom immediately responded as J.R. continued massaging her forehead. 

“I’m– My head hurts. I want to sleep. Where’s Macky? Where’s her needle?” She mumbled angrily now. 

But Tom only hushed her gently and made her lean against his chest, as his arm draped over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, J.R., we’ll make the pain go away.” He cooed to her. Tom tried to rock her softly in his arms and he was trying to calm her down. Would it be good for J.R. to remember if she would have to go through this much pain?

——– 

The four of them stood at each end of the way to their boarding. J.R.’s migraines went away for a while and she was fine again.

“So you guys are going back to London?” Tom asked. 

“Yes. Those are the orders. Sir McLeod expects us to arrive tonight.” McCord explained. 

“We’ll miss you, guys. I’ll miss you two being around.” J.R. replied, pouting.

McCord sighed but Mason only nodded politely. As usual, J.R. never lost her kindness and sweet personality that they knew of her since the first time they met her. 

At that time, McCord had just been released from military service after fulfilling the three year tour in Afghanistan. While Mason, a decade older, had just resigned from his previous work at the parliament, as part of the tactical security unit for the Prime Minister. 

J.R. then was just 16 and already blooming and gorgeous as she is now.  McCord had a little crush on her for a while, but Mason remembered his daughter from her, that died; taken away by Leukemia. 

“We’ll miss you, too, Ms. Julie Rose.” McCord smiled and there was warmth in his eyes. 

This took Tom by surprise; he never knew, that these two bulky and tall bodyguards have their own soft spot and J.R. had just hit it. 

“Aww, come here, let me give you two a hug.” J.R. lulled as she stepped in and pulled their tall shoulders in a group hug. 

Tom could only stare at awe, as both Mason and McCord hugged back and placed their hands on her back as they enclosed her. 

They were first to let go, and J.R. was adjusted her feet from tiptoeing, “Take care guys, take care of Kuya and his family.” J.R. lastly instructed them. 

“We will, Ms. Julie Rose.” Mason replied with a splendid smile.  Then he turned to Tom, “Mr. Hiddleston? Take care. You’re in charge of Ms. Julie Rose now.”

“Yes– I’ll take good care of her.” He replied with a warm smile.

Then, Mason and McCord took their baggage and went on their way, leaving Tom and J.R. standing and waving goodbye at them.

When they were out of earshot, McCord asked Mason, “What are we going to tell Sir McLeod?”

He shrugged as they approached the boarding gate.

“He told us to observe Tom. So what did you observed?” McCord spoke again.

Mason didn’t replied for a while as he gave his ticket to the flight attendant and so did McCord.

They entered the tube that leads to the entrance of the plane when Mason spoke, “What did I saw there in Tleta-Tagmoute? And also on the crater? I only saw  _love_ , and that Mr. HIddleston is purely in love with Ms. Julie Rose.”

McCord knew that they both had the same observation, then Mason followed, “But with Ms. Julie Rose… I think she’s confusing him with Mr. Henderson.”

“Poor bloke. You think that Ms. Julie Rose is just that way because she’s still in love with Nathan?”

“I think so. She sees Nathan in Tom. They do look alike. I think that’s where Sir McLeod went wrong. He should’ve told J.R. the truth--maybe that way her memories of the accident would come up.” Mason grumbled.

McCord didn’t said anything else as they entered the door that leads inside the plane.

——

Once again, the gloomy and cold mountain ranges of Baguio welcomed them home. J.R. was inexplicably quiet whenever she is here in Baguio. Maybe the coldness of the place gets into her sunny side. Donnie would say something every once in a while, just so he could talk the sleepiness away while on their travel back home.

Tom read Martin’s text message again to analyze the address of the pink house. He does wonder why the pink house was ever called  _the pink house,_ and why does even J.R.’s mother lives there. 

There he also felt the anticipation of meeting one or both of J.R.’s parents. He was already imagining how he would act in front of Ms. Cassandra and maybe also in front of Mr. Trillo.

He was already imagining what they both look like; where J.R. had inherited her beautiful brown eyes, her lips that are perfectly shaped or her traits that he got to love.

For a while, he dismissed those thought, and instead, he said to himself internally,

_Wake up, man. J.R.’s not introducing you to her parents. You’re just there to come with her._

Then he thought that he wishes that he won’t have to explain once again who he is and why he was hired to her parents. The long and winding road continued but after Tom's wristwatch hit 5 o'clock, dusk has started to creep in into the skylines of Baguio City.

Once again, they are welcomed by the winding stairs that leads to the house at the top. Manang Belen welcomed J.R. with a warm hug, the other house help greeted J.R. and so did they with Tom. When they finally approached the lawn, Tom could already see Macky’s figure standing on the doorway. She immediately walked down to welcome them back. Tom could make from the light of the dusk skies the maroon fitted dress that Macky wears.

“Welcome home, Julie.” Macky opened her arms wide to embrace J.R.

“I missed you, Macky.” J.R. hugged her.

Then when J.R. finally let Macky go, she turned her attention to Tom who was still straining from the climb.

“Welcome back, Tom.” And with that, she went on to give him a peck on the cheek as a welcome.

Tom could feel the heat of her kiss and also the weight of that action. And if Macky was wearing any lipstick at that moment, it might have printed a lovely kiss mark on his cheek.

“Thanks, Macky.” He replied, sounding uncertain, as he stepped away from her.

“You must be tired, you two, come inside. I’ll make something warm to drink.” Macky kindly offered to which J.R. responded with a smile and wrapping her arm around Macky’s waist.

The two of them looked just like sisters, standing to each other, as Tom had observed as he walked behind them. Donnie walked beside him, with some of their luggage in his hand. There Tom remembered to ask him something,

“Don, can I ask you something? Do you know the pink house? Where J.R.’s parents live?”

Before Donnie could answer, his expression froze, “Uhm… I know where that is. Why?”

“It’s the last place where I would take J.R.; Martin has already gave me the address. But, just as you said, you know the way.” Tom replied.

Donnie only nodded, but it was like he is shaking some bad thoughts away, not agreeing to what Tom had just said.

“I’ll take you there. Maybe the next day, Ms. Julie Rose needs to rest from the jet lag.”

“Thank you, Donnie.” Tom patted Donnie’s shoulder.

—–

After finishing the warm cocoa that Macky prepared for her, J.R. was now walking up the stairs with Macky so she could go to bed.

Tom finished his tea, so that he could also sleep. But when he looked back at J.R. and Macky, he was curious and he wanted to see J.R. off to bed.

When they finally entered J.R.’s room, Tom followed them. As he was halfway at the staircase, he noticed that J.R.’s door was almost closed and that he could still see inside.

He could see J.R. lying on her bed, while Macky sat at her side. Tom carefully approached the room and to look over.

When he was close to an earshot, he heard that they are talking to each other,

“Were you a good girl with Tom?” Macky asked, as if she was talking to a child.

“Yes. I had fun with him. I even asked him to kiss me, but he didn’t.” J.R. giggled as she told Macky what happened.

Tom couldn’t see what was Macky’s expression, and the room was only dimly lit, he couldn’t make it if Macky nodded or shook her head.

Then after a while, she took out a medium-sized pouch; also, she took a bottle of J.R.'s medicine and a syringe.

“You’ve been away for so long, you haven’t been getting your daily shots. It’s bad for you, Julie Rose.” She whispered with such motherly tone.

Macky then folded back the sleeves of J.R.’s pajamas and it revealed her right arm. She tied a long piece of rubber on J.R.’s upper arm, just above the elbow and Macky tapped softly the crease of J.R.'s arm. There, Macky traced the veins.

Then, she prepared the syringe and stuck the needle at the soft part of the bottle’s lid. When the syringe was two-thirds full of the medicine, she stuck now the syringe at J.R.’s arm.

J.R. gasped at first then she was quiet afterwards. Then she started to softly ramble like a small animal hit by a sleep dart. Tom tried to keep quiet when he saw that. 

He knows that J.R. needs her medicine, and Macky is there as her nurse. But sometimes, he felt like what she is doing to J.R. is wrong. Or it might be that he's just too protective of J.R.. Tom believes that Macky means good not just because it's her job, it's because she cares for J.R. 

He finally left the door and went on his way downstairs to his room. 

\----

It has been two days since they arrived in Baguio. J.R. is back to her sunny disposition and had seemed to have shaken the jet lag off.  As they are having breakfast at the porch, Tom had already talked to Donnie that it is the day that they will go to the pink house. 

"Are we going to visit Mama and Papa?" J.R. asked. 

"Yes. We're going after finishing our breakfast." Tom replied gently. 

Macky looked on at them, but didn't spoke. There Tom remembered to ask, "Would you like to come with us, Macky?" 

She wiped her lips with the napkin, she just finished her food, "I'm not in the mood to visit them today. I'll pay my respects to them, in another time. Excuse me."

Macky left the table, and left her half-finished food. Tom wondered with the word she used,  _pay her respects_. Maybe it's the way she said it in English which differs in meaning in Tagalog. 

J.R. then spoke, "Tom, can we bring Mama some flowers? Her favorite are lilies and mums." 

"Sure. Maybe Donnie knows a flower shop on the way." Tom assured J.R. 

"Yay! I'm excited to see Mama and Papa again!" She exclaimed. 

Once again, J.R. is effervescent as she always is. They quickly finished their food, and Tom let J.R. prepare with Macky's help.

It was now 10 o'clock in the morning and Tom was still wondering what would he wear. He saw his powder-blue collared shirt in his drawers, and figured that this would be suitable. Not too formal or casual. 

Tom partnered his shirt with khaki-gray trousers and brown shoes. When he looked at himself at the mirror, he thought that he might just impress Ms. Cassandra and Mr. Trillo. 

When he was done, he saw J.R.; sitting at living room sofa, wearing a willowy baby blue dress that matched the color of his shirt. He felt like he is just about to have a pre-nuptial photoshoot with J.R. with their color-matching outfits. 

"Are you ready?" J.R. asked Tom which placed a smile on his lips. J.R. stood up from the sofa to join Tom. And when she did, she held his hand as they went outside. 

Donnie was waiting beside the car that Tom knows that belongs to Martin. A sleek black SUV, with light caramel interior inside. They got in and sat at the back, then Donnie started the engine after taking the driver's seat. The car started moving out till then, they were out of the village. 

They took the opposite road that leads farther and into the part where there are more exclusive villages. J.R. was looking out of the window, like she is on the lookout for the flower shop that Tom mentioned. 

"When was the last time you visited your parents, J.R.?" He asked J.R.

She was about to answer but Donnie answered instead, "Last November. It was the time of the year." 

"Yes. Now I remember." J.R. spoke out. 

Then, they finally saw the signage of the flower shop,  _The Rainbow Garden_. Donnie pulled up at the side of the road, pass the flower shop. 

He stayed at the car to let Tom and J.R. buy the flowers. When they got inside, they were greeted by a small old woman, with her hair neatly tied to a bun at the top of her head. Her assistant was a teenage girl; her granddaughter, the old woman had told them. 

J.R. talked to the old woman in Ilokano, and pointed out the flowers she wanted to be arranged, to which the old woman answered with  _Wen, wen._ * She chose white Lilies, purple Malaysian mums, and with some Baby's breath. 

The old woman was slow, but her hands are faster than anything as she assembled the flowers, with her granddaughter to assist her with the florist wires and colored specialty papers that will cover the bouquet.  It only took them 20 minutes to wait for the bouquet; and when the bouquet was done, J.R. paid and thanked the old woman and her granddaughter. 

Once again, they were on their way on the road. Donnie saw the flowers at the back mirror. "White Lilies? They are Ms. Cassandra's favorite." 

"Yes. Mama liked them very much." J.R. replied giddily. 

Tom only watched J.R. as she carefully observed the flowers and smelling it from time to time. They traveled for 20 minutes more, and when the roads are not elevated anymore, and the cliff side road revealed the towns below on their left; Tom saw that memorial chapels and cemeteries lined up on their right. 

He wondered why Ms. Cassandra chose a home near this places. 

"We're almost here." Donnie pointed out as they turned into a sharp curve, until it revealed a memorial garden, with grand arches affront. 

"We're here!" J.R. excitedly sang. 

Tom's brow furrowed while he thought to himself,  _Is this the place where J.R.'s parents live? A memorial garden?_  

He wanted to ask Donnie, but not in front of J.R..  For a while, he looked at his phone for  _Google maps_ , but the address of the pink house and the memorial garden are just the same. 

Tom felt a vague tension inside him, that he couldn't quite calm out of his system. They entered the gates and the security guard on duty checked their ID and dashboard sticker. 

Then Donnie paid 10 pesos for the parking ticket. When they reached the parking area, J.R. was ready to go out of the car. Donnie pulled out and they were parked. 

J.R. started, "I'll be on my way there. I'll see you two there." 

And with the bouquet on her arms, J.R. sprang from her seat and ran steadily until she disappeared into a bushy corner of the road. 

Tom now finally had the time to ask, "Donnie, I don't understand-- Why are we here?" Donnie didn't answered for a while, but when he got out of the car, (and so did Tom) he replied, "This is the place where Ms. Cassandra is buried." 

Donnie spoke with such straightforward honesty, Tom thought him for being rude for a minute. 

"Ms. Cassandra... She's dead?" He almost whispered. 

Donnie nodded slowly and said, "I was just a teenager at that time, like Sir Martin, when Ms. Cassandra and Sir Robert went for a business trip. But on their way, their plane crashed at the Southern Pacific. 

"Ms. Cassandra's body was recovered, but not Sir Robert's. Sir Martin's father, Mr. McLeod, didn't wanted Ms. Cassandra to be buried at her family's mausoleum. Maybe he still resented her for leaving him for Sir Robert. Instead, she was buried here, in Sir Robert's hometown." 

Tom felt like his heart was crushed. How many loved ones did J.R. had lost?  Maybe her amnesia was repressing her from these memories because they are just too painful to be remembered.

"That's why Martin didn't wanted Ms. Cassandra to be mentioned every time? Because, he's still in pain with his mother's death?" 

Donnie rubbed the back of his neck, and he sighed, "Sir Martin would always be hurt. He would always be in pain with his mother's death, he told me. But as long as J.R.'s there, he would never feel alone." 

Tom only looked down at his feet, but Donnie called his attention. "Let's follow her. She will need you right now, that I know.”

They started to walk at the road where J.R. had previously ran on to. They followed a road covered with willow trees that can only grow in this kind of weather in Baguio.

When they saw the street that was indicated in the address that Martin gave Tom, which is  _Kalachuchi_ , they saw large mausoleums that looked like townhouses lined up carefully in the middle of the grassfield of Bermudas.

But there was one mausoleum that stood out, with the a faded pink facade. What made it stood out were the trees planted at the front, purplish magenta Bougainvilleas that had stemmed at the front columns, and two trees of Plumerias, with pink blooming flowers at the tops.

“The pink house. Isn’t it pretty?” Donnie remarked.

Tom didn’t said a word, but instead, he started walking towards it that he didn’t realized that Donnie is no longer walking with him. When he was already near the mausoleum, he saw J.R. laid the bouquet on top of Ms. Cassandra’s sarcophagus.

He was surprised to see a sarcophagus nowadays, that he thought only people from the past had them made. But there it is, a sarcophagus of Ms. Cassandra stood out at the middle of the mausoleum. But behind it was a flat marble wall with a carved epitaph in block letters for Robert.

_A husband, a father, and a good friend.  
His body lost at sea, but his memory is always in our hearts._

Tom tried to walk near J.R. who has now sat beside the sarcophagus. There he could make out that Ms. Cassandra’s figure was lying down, clothed in a beautiful off-shoulder gown that made the sarcophagus look like it contains a fallen goddess.

Finally, J.R. noticed Tom, and he could see tears that were about to fall from her eyes.

“Why did you bring me here again?” She mumbled, and now her tears fell on her cheeks like raindrops.

“To make you remember.” Tom did not hesitated to answer that way.

J.R. clutched her chest and she sobbed and inhaled sharply.

“I remember them... The day they went away. They told me that are going to come back for me. They  _promised_  me that. Mama-- oh she was so beautiful that day, just as beautiful as she is in my memories.”

“J.R., please... What more do you remember?” Tom carefully asked now.

“Everything. I remember every painful thing. I-I can’t-- It’s...” She sobbed more and more until she couldn’t talk anymore.

J.R. got off of the sarcophagus and she slumped down on the tiled floor.

Tom immediately approached and held J.R., “J.R., do you want to go now? I’ll take you home if you want to.”

But she only replied, “And I remember you,  _Nathan_.”

Tom gasped. He thought she must be seeing him again now as Nathan.

“Why did you have to do that to me? Why did you hurt me?” She cried out, but Tom cupped her face.

“What did Nathan do to you, J.R.? Tell me, please, baby.” Tom begged her and tried to make her sit upright.

“You left me, Nathan. You said you would never do that!” She now screamed and drummed Tom’s chest.

With this, Tom didn’t wanted to pry anymore from J.R.’s fragile mind, and so he held her close to his chest.

“I’m not Nathan. I’m not him. I will never be Nathan. I would never be the man you loved and still love.” Tom admitted bitterly, but he kept on holding to J.R.

Then she looked up to him, “Why did you have to bring me here? I hate going home here. Everything reminds me of the pain.” her chin trembled and her throat felt dry as she spoke and her tears fell more and more.

“What do you want me to do, J.R.? Tell me what to do.” Tom whispered

Now, J.R. placed a hand on his cheek and spoke, “Kiss me. Kiss me like you always did.”

This was not a request or a command from her, but it was all she desired above else, and Tom couldn’t ignore that.

Then he thought to himself,  _I’m not Nathan. But I hope, I could be someone new for you. Someone that won’t hurt you. Someone that will love you, no matter what._

Tom prepared himself and he leaned on closer to J.R.’s face. He felt her sweet warm breath on his cheeks, and saw her lips red from crying looked like cherries ready to be eaten.

But then, he set aside the desire, but he let his love for her control him.  _Not the lust, but what I really feel for her._  He thought.

J.R. was expecting it, and so she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, as if she is letting herself go, plunging farther down for her feelings.

Then in the middle of cold nothingness, she felt his lips--not pressed on hers, but on her forehead.

J.R. felt the electricity of her body awaken her senses, just because of his kiss. She felt warm all over, she felt her blood rush from every vein in her body, just because he kissed her this way.

After a long while, Tom finally let his kiss end and he stared tenderly into her eyes.

“I love you, J.R.. I hope that you can still know me as me, not because I look like Nathan.” Tom whispered.

For a while, J.R. tried to register his words into her mind; she was trying to make out what he meant, when suddenly,

“Ow! It hurts!” She gasped as she felt a sharp pain on her temples, until it spread out all over her head.

Tom was now alarmed as J.R. was slightly tossing and turning because of her migraine.

“J.R.? J.R.! Darling, are you all right?!” Tom now boomed, but still trying to settle J.R. upright.

“My head-- It hurts!” She squealed, like a helpless child, as she also tried to press her temples with her hands.

“We need to get you home.” Tom said under his breath, then he called out, “Donnie! Donnie, come here! I need your help!”

\------

As soon as they arrived home, Tom placed J.R. at the sofa of the living room and called out for Macky. She quickly arrived with her pouch that contains J.R.’s medicine.

“Hold her still.” She instructed Tom because J.R. was wriggling because of her migraine.

Then, with quick motion, Macky already filled the syringe. She placed the rubber on J.R.’s arm to trace the vein. Even though J.R. was moving so much, Macky still got to stick the needle of the syringe carefully into J.R.’s arm.

After a while, J.R. calmed down. and she fell asleep slowly.

“That ought to make her sleep until tomorrow. What the hell happened back there?” She spat at Tom.

“I tried to make her remember, then she got her migraines again. She was already telling me something about Nathan-- that he hurt her before. I don’t know how, because she kept telling me that Nathan left her. I couldn’t get any straight answer from what she told me.” Tom now combed his hair with his fingers, from his forehead and sighed.

Macky now placed back some of the small bottles and unused syringes on her pouch. “You know sometimes, J.R.’s memories are not worth to be recalled. It’s better for her to forget such painful memories.” She remarked indifferently, but Tom didn’t brought himself to look at her while she said that.

But when he stole a glance from Macky, she was looking at the empty vial of medicine. “Another empty vial. I have to call her doctor so he could supply me again of her medicine.”

Macky left the living room for a while, to dispose the vial. There she went back now with Donnie to assist her of taking J.R. to bed.

But Tom insisted that he can carry J.R., but Macky only said, “No. You have done enough, Tom. Let yourself rest.”

He let it go and Donnie now took J.R. in his arms as Macky tried to assist him at the stairs.

Tom now, started to wander off at the kitchen, with his phone on hand. He was thinking whether he would call Martin because of what happened, or not. But he felt like he needs to know what happened.

Just as he was about to unlock his phone to dial Martin’s number; Tom found himself already near the kitchen entrance, and with the garbage bin in front of him.

There he noticed the empty vial that Macky threw in the garbage. He was about to let it go but he noticed that something was off with the prescription of the vial. Some of the words were covered with a mismatched adhesive paper that were printed in small letters.

He picked it up and held close to read it. But, he was curious too, he peeled the adhesive paper and revealed something else.

“ _Ketamine_?” He read.

Tom stared out in the open, trying to figure out how this kind of sedative is administered to J.R.. He is sure it’s not something that a doctor would give his amnesiac patient. Then he remembered what Ajay told him before, of deadly sedatives and addicting ones too.

“I need to know. I need to ask him.” Tom whispered.

He pocketed the vial and went back to his room. Tom is sure that something is going on and he will find out what it is, whether by hook or by crook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Wen means 'Yes' in Ilokano


	12. Maria Criselda Trillo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J.R.’s state is not getting any better, and it starting to gnaw on Tom; especially now he found something suspicious. He could only hope that this time his thoughts about Macky is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been so long since I updated Mr. Perfect here in AO3 and I'm sorry for that, dearies. Anyways, this chapter explores Macky's backstory and just a warning that Macky didn't had an easy childhood :( Hope everybody enjoys this chapter :D

                                                                      

Tom locked his door and took out his laptop from his luggage. He placed it on his desk and turned it on. He needed to talk to Ajay, face to face. 

As he waited for the laptop to turn on, his hand was instinctively trying to reach for his phone. Tom wanted to text Martin and tell him of what he discovered. 

 _Not until I talk to Ajay. I need to know if I’m wrong._  He thought. 

When his desktop appeared at the laptop screen, he opened  _Skype_  and logged on. He was in luck because Ajay was online, despite that he should be sleeping because his shift had just ended. For a while, he tried to call Ajay. and after a few rings, Ajay answered. 

“Hey man!” Ajay greeted him loudly over the speaker, Tom couldn’t help but smile even though he’s practically terrified at the moment. 

“How are you, Jay?” Tom spoke over the line. He noticed that Ajay looked like he just woke up and that he mustered all his strength just to sit up from his bed. 

After a while, Bailey also stood up and went to say  _hi_. “Hello, Tom. I’m just here for the week, by the way.” She explained. 

“It’s all right, don’t mention it. Oh, where’s Rosa?” Tom inquired and right on cue, his cat, the fat grey tabby, jumped on the table and sniffed the front camera of the laptop. 

“Aww, my girl.” Tom cooed and tried to scratch Rosa from his screen. 

“As you see, I haven’t made her yet into a soft felt rag.” Ajay joked. 

“Tosser.” Tom replied jokingly in retaliation. 

“So, how are you doing there? It’s been almost a month. And you don’t usually call when you’re in a contract. What’s wrong, man?” His eyes narrowed as he tried to analyze Tom’s expression. 

Before replying, he looked back to see if his door is really locked and kept his voice as quiet as possible, “Jay, I have to ask you something– you used to be a nurse down at St. Bart’s, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah, I did. So what about it?” 

“I found an empty vial… The real name of the medicine was covered. J.R.’s nurse uses this medicine for her as a sedative whenever she gets migraines, but what was underneath the cover– it’s like nothing of an ordinary sedative.” 

Ajay shifted on his seat and replied, “What was the medicine’s real name?” 

“It’s ketamine.” Tom said and he placed the vial close to the camera so Ajay could read it also. 

“Oh, that’s some extreme shit, though, Tom.” Bailey spoke out as she also read the prescription. 

“You know this sedative too?” Tom asked Bailey. 

“Yeah. A veterinary friend of mine uses that to the animals when she operates on one.” 

Then Ajay spoke, “That’s no ordinary sedative, Tom. If a patient gets overdosed, it might cause psychological or neurological problems.” 

Then suddenly, something became clear within Tom’s train of thought, J.R. only acts childish when Macky is feeding her up with medicine. 

“So, besides that, what are the other effects?” Tom’s voice quaked but he tried to keep his worry hidden.

Ajay scratched the back of his head, his heavy eyelids blinking off his sleepiness. “Well, it might cause a person to have amnesiac episodes, nausea, migraines; sometimes it’s used as a recreational drug.” Tom felt a cold shiver in his spine and his eyes darted out in the open, until something was revealed to him.

_Macky’s been drugging J.R.–-so she won’t remember._

He sat up and said, “Ajay, I need to go. Thanks man.” 

He was about to log off when Ajay said, “Tom! Before you go, tell me, is there something wrong? I’m worried about you, man.” 

Tom paused, and he was trying to find the right words to say. “I think that J.R.’s being drugged so she won’t remember again.” He whispered. 

Ajay and Bailey’s faces froze when they heard that. “You have to tell her brother that, don’t you?” Ajay mumbled. 

“Yes. I’ll contact you later.” Tom said under his breath. 

“Take care, man.” 

Then Tom finally logged off and closed his Skype. It was all a lot to take in and he wished that what he thought about Macky is wrong. 

He couldn’t just go on accusing her that she is making her patient more sick than ever. But, somehow, the picture that he had built on his mind seemed to make more sense every time he thinks of it. 

But then, he couldn’t help but feel anxious. He finally reached out for his phone his pocket and when he unlocked it, he began typing a text message for Martin. 

 _Martin, I have to tell you something…_  He stopped midway and looked away, 

“I hope I’m wrong. I really hope I’m wrong this time.” 

————–

The sunset illuminated Macky’s whole room as she sat down on her study table, staring at a framed picture. It was her on the picture, along with Cassandra and Mr. Trillo.

She remembered it so clearly, it was the day her adoption papers were finalized. And she smiled at the memory when Cassandra showed her new birth certificate, with her new name indicated,  _Maria Criselda Trillo_. 

They took her from  _St. Catherine’s Home for Orphaned Girls_  in  _Malate, Manila_. But it was not the place she really came from. She was one of many girls, that grew up in impoverished areas in Manila. 

Her family, a member of 14 children, and a parent; only their mother. She remarried a lot of times, more than Macky could count, that some of her siblings don’t even know who fathered them. 

She herself doesn’t know who her own father is. But what her mother did made her forget that she had a mother at all. 

Macky’s mother, on the brink of life and death, sold her on a low class nightclub near Pedro Gil street; she was only 14 at that time. She felt her throat tighten and her eyes water as she remembered that day she was sold to prostitution, by the very person who brought her to this world. Her siblings, she never saw them again. 

Her virginity was sold to the richest customer of the nightclub, an old drug lord, always on the hunt for newly arrived girls to virginize. Macky was one of those unlucky ones. 

Suddenly, she reached for neck as she remembered how that old man tightened his grip around it when she gave him head in a wrong way. Macky felt quiet sobs come out of her, and her tears fall down on her cheeks, warm and wet. 

After all of it was done, bruises and aching flesh were the only things left on her body; she stood up for herself, she would not endure this, she will be free. With all of her strength and a few pick-pocketed money from her customers, she escaped the nightclub. And like a miracle, in the middle of the night, a car that was about to run over her, stopped. The blinding headlights dawned on her, like a surreal vision. And there, a redhead of a foreign woman came out of the passenger seat, Macky thought she was an angel. That was the first time she saw Cassandra. And there she knew that she was saved. 

They sent her first to the orphanage; but for Cassandra, the kind-hearted woman that she is, was determined to adopt her. It was all bliss from the first few months she lived with the Trillos in Baguio City, with their young daughter, Julie Rose. But all of this disappeared all together when they died in the plane crash. She was written into their will, and her future was already ensured. There she promised, her happiness was taken away twice, but she wouldn’t let it be taken away for the third time. She even vowed that no one will ever take away the happiness that she has now, even if she is her own adopted sister. 

 _Not even you, J.R., can take away everything from me._  She thought to herself.

The sun has finally set and what was left of her room was faint darkness. Macky looked like a specter in the middle of the darken room while contemplating. 

Then, she heard a soft knock come upon her door, followed by a voice, “Macky? Are you there? It’s me, Tom.” 

She bolted right up to meet him at the doorway. She also turned on the lights. “Tom. Come in.” She whispered. 

On her mind, Macky is already thinking that, finally, Tom would give in to her charms. Tom stepped in and Macky had a seductive smirk painted on her face. 

“So, why are you here?” She made her voice as husky as she can, but also as childish. 

“I’m here to ask you about something–but I hope it won’t offend you.” He spoke carefully, and calculated every word that he would say, but Tom was really tensed deep within. 

Macky flashed a very seducing smile and brushed away her hair. “I know exactly why you are here.” 

Tom’s brows raised in surprise, “You do?” 

“Yes, and I’ve wondered why you came to me just now. I can see that you feel the same way.” And with this, Macky slowly started to rub her palms over Tom’s chest and shoulders. 

Tom tried to get away from Macky’s hold and he tried to make her stop from lunging at him. “No, please, Macky. It’s not about this. But I want you to tell me the truth.” Tom explained. 

Macky started to look displeased, but he continued and he took out the empty vial and showed it to her. “What does this mean? Why are you giving J.R. ketamine?” Tom begged for an answer. 

Macky’s seductive smile disappeared, replaced with a dark frown. “I don’t know anything about that. I give J.R. her prescribed sedatives; what do you think of me? That I’m breaking my oath to care for my patient?” 

He went quiet for a while, and he is still trying to trace if she is lying or not. But then, Macky looked away, as if dazed and her mind wandering. 

“Macky, please. It will be just between you and me.” Tom begged again.

Macky breathed in, that was the exact line that Nathan said at the night he died. 

“You won’t tell Martin? Or anyone else?” She asked.

“I promise. Please, I want to know the truth.” Tom pleaded now. 

Macky crossed her arms on her chest, and started talking. “I am giving her ketamine. Why? Because I want her to forget the night she had an accident, and that Nathan died.” Tom gasped but Macky still continued. 

“I’m telling you this because I trust you. And I will tell what happened two years ago; the night before Nathan died. It was just like this night, and then he asked me to help him. He was going to propose to Julie, and that it would be that night. 

"You see, Tom, I didn’t liked that news, because I’ve always loved Nathan. Ever since the first time I met him, I knew, he needed to be mine.” Tom wanted to say something, but Macky kept on going, “I confessed to him that I love him, and that I’m willing to do anything just so he can be with me. Sadly, he rejected me. I kissed him, so he could feel that I was telling the truth. J.R. caught us.” Macky stepped away from Tom and looked out into her wide window. 

“Because he wasn’t talking to her for a week, and that he was really preparing for his surprise proposal; Julie thought that Nathan was cheating on her. She didn’t took it lightly. And like the drama queen that she is, she tried to run away with her car. Nathan chased her down.

"And do you know whose fault it is really that Nathan died? It’s Julie’s.” She spat the words with disgust, then she faced him. “And now that you’re here… It’s like, fate has taken Nathan away from me, and gave me you, instead.” And Macky’s arms clung onto Tom’s shoulders. 

He let Macky settle her head on his chest for a while. She was a feet taller than J.R., but her figure felt more willowy and bony. Somehow, when Tom placed a hand at the small spot of her back, he felt scars through her clothes. She felt rough yet enticing, but Tom couldn’t just believe that Macky is capable of doing these things–just because she _loved_ Nathan.

Then Tom spoke, “But, won’t you forgive her? By at least making her remember again?” Macky held her face so near to his, he could smell her sweet musky scent, “Well, I’m not the one to forgive easily. But– I did kept all of her memorabilia from Nathan. Just a little revenge on her.” Tom felt jolted when he heard about that, 

“What? J.R. would be able to remember again if she saw those!” She once again had a frown hanging on her face, but Tom reckoned, “I mean– That’s what likely to happen if she saw that, isn’t it?” 

“Tom,” Macky placed her hands on his face, “I told you, I don’t forgive easily– meaning that you don’t want to mess with me.” 

Tom nodded, but now, Macky started to pull his face toward hers, and there Tom knew that Macky wanted to kiss him. 

But would he let her?


	13. The Two-Headed Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The enemy was never too far away for J.R., and Macky is just beginning to lay down her plans. Whatever her wrath may bring, can destroy not only J.R. but also Tom. But can Tom stop Macky before it’s all too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have corrected some typos from this chapter :) Anyways, I hope everyone enjoy this chapter :D

                                                    

Her nightmares had come creeping up in her dreams again, that J.R. bolted right up; she forced herself out of it, and now she has bullets of sweat on her forehead. J.R. was trying to catch her breath, and she felt her chest heave so quick like it had never did before.

“Nathan? Macky? Anyone?” She called out into the darkness of her room, hoping someone would come and comfort her after the horror of her nightmares.

There was no response, and so, she stood up from her bed and started to walk down the stairs.

When she went outside of her room, the whole house had no lights on, apart from the faint light she saw coming from one of the rooms at the other side of the corridor.

 _That’s Macky’s room._  She thought to herself.

She carefully tiptoed, hoping to discover what is happening. But she felt her head throb and her heart race that blurred her vision; and she wasn’t really tiptoeing but walking with staggering steps.

After a few minutes, she was almost near Macky’s room, she saw that her door was partly open, but not revealing who was behind that door.

She heard hushed conversations, but then, her curiosity made her wanted to see who were the people talking to each other. J.R. felt nervous, she doesn’t really know what to expect behind the door.

She heard a high voice, that she knew was the voice of a woman, probably Macky.

J.R. approached the door and opened it, and what she witnessed was the monster of her nightmares; the  _two-headed monster_.

Tom couldn’t push Macky away as she kissed him, because he wanted her to trust him so he could know where does she keep that collection of memorabilia from Nathan.

For a moment, Tom thought that he would be taken away by Macky’s kisses, because he had to admit that she is a great kisser. Her hands roamed everywhere, and that she also made his hands touch every part of her body.

But then, their moment was interrupted by a loud gentle gasp. There, they saw J.R. standing over the doorway, with her palms clasping her mouth shut.

Once again, the memory of that night came back to her, as if it’s happening again at that moment; the two-headed monster connected by their lips in her dreams weren’t monsters at all, but it was Nathan and Macky, entangled in a deep kiss.

“No… Nathan, how could you?” J.R.’s words came out like a sob from her throat.

“Oh no– J.R., this is not what you think it is!” Tom tried to explain, but Macky interrupted him,

“It is what you are thinking! Tom is not Nathan, because he is dead! If you weren’t so much of a prissy bitch with the flair for drama and shit, he would still be alive! If you didn’t made him chase you, he would still be alive until now!”

J.R. shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes, “No, he’s still alive! Nathan’s been with me the whole time!”

This time, Macky was beginning to look more angrier by the second.

“It’s all your fault!” She screamed at her until she lunged at J.R. to grab her hair by the scalp.

“Stop it!” Tom shouted at them as J.R. tried to get away from Macky’s claws. It was as if Tom wasn’t even there that Macky forgot to withhold herself from attacking J.R.

Tom tried to piece them out, but Macky pushed him away. J.R. let out a high-pitched scream as she also yank down Macky’s hair, but after kicking Macky on the shin, J.R. finally got away from Macky’s grasp.  
  
As fast as she could, J.R. ran away.

“J.R.!” Tom shouted as he was about to run after J.R., but Macky stopped him,

“No! Let her run! To hell with her!” Macky angrily shouted out, that Tom knew people would begin to suspect what is happening inside the house.

Tom knew that his plan had backfired, and that he needs to do something else.

He grabbed her by the elbow and spun her to face him, “Macky, you must tell me where you keep Nathan’s belongings.” He ordered her.

But Macky’s face twisted into a terrible yet beautiful frown, “I fucking knew it! You still want J.R. over me! You still want her to regain her memories!” Then she tried to slap him but Tom stopped her hand.

“Tell me where it is! Please, Macky! Or I’ll force you to tell me where you are hiding it.” Tom spoke with such roughness that Macky never knew he is capable of it.

Tom watched her face, until her eyes wandered and glanced over him and into her cabinet behind him.

He looked over and followed her gaze, “It’s there isn’t it?”

And with one split moment, they found themselves struggling to stop each other on opening the cabinet.

“You can’t! J.R. deserves to forget!” Macky squealed with frustration, but she couldn’t stop Tom from reaching out, and so, she clawed his neck and face.

Tom yelped in pain, because her fingernails dug deep into his neck. And with an instinctive move, he elbowed her face that she fell flat on her back with a bloody nose.

For a while, Tom gasped that he might have killed Macky as she stopped moving and her nose was bleeding. But, there was no time to lose, he searched her cabinet in each of its corner, until he found a rectangular tin box.

 _This is it._  He thought.

He held it on his hand, but he had no time to check the contents; he only found himself running out of the room to chase J.R.

—–  
It was all happening to her again; the betrayal, the fear, and most of all the pain.

She frantically ran down the stone steps, as she intended to run away from that place. It is dinner time and all of the house helps are having their meal at their own boarders, but not for Donnie who was watching over the vehicles at the garage while chewing on betel leaves.

He was having a quiet time by himself when he heard someone running toward the cars.

And from the faint illumination of the lamp, he saw J.R., crying and frantic as she searched for a car to use. She was banging on some of the SUVs at the front entrance of the garage, until she found one with an open door of the driver’s seat.

“Ms. J.R.? What are you doing? You should be resting by now.” Donnie said as he stood up from his seat, but J.R. only gave him a look of fear and pain.

She ignored him at once and got on to the car and started the engine.

This time, Donnie was alarmed. He tried to stop her but she already drove out of the garage.

“Oh, shit.” He muttered.

J.R. had no idea how she is able to drive that car, but what was confusing her were the memories bursting in and out of her mind.

She couldn’t see the road ahead but what she could see was Nathan; the time she went with her in Palawan; the photo shoot in Paris with Alex; the night they stargazed under the skies of Morocco, and also yesterday when they visited her mother’s grave.

All of these memories came pouring down, but suddenly she thought, that man that she’s with all the time– he is not Nathan.

 _But who is he? Why does he look like Nathan?_  J.R. repeatedly asked herself, she also thought, he betrayed her like Nathan did. He kissed Macky, as did Nathan. He gave in, and she felt twice the pain she felt that night.

Her car drove on and the gates opened for her. With a trail of dust, she left home.

After a few moments that J.R. left, Tom saw Donnie standing over the garage entrance, scratching his head while his face twisted into a laughable worry.

“Donnie! What happened here? Did J.R. came by here?!” He shouted at him while he quickly descended from the stone steps.

“Ms. J.R. just ran away– on a car! What is happening, Tom?” Donnie begged for the truth, but Tom could only answer,

“There’s no time to tell; I need to go for her. I will need a car, Donnie.”

Tom sounded so convincing to Donnie that he immediately got a key from the cabinet and pointed Martin’s car for him to use. Tom had no time to thank Donnie, but he tapped his shoulder and then he dashed into the driver’s seat and started the car.

Before leaving, he said to Donnie, “Call the police, I need help on finding J.R.. And also call Martin, tell him that I’m right about Macky.”

He started to drive away and left Donnie now dazed and confused.

But Donnie took out his phone from his pocket and started to dial the local police’s number.

———

Macky felt her nose wet and in pain as she struggled to sit up with her elbows. 

“Fuck.” She swore under her breath. 

For a while, she let her nose bleed down. But as soon as she was on her feet, her eyes darted on the empty cabinet, where she hid Nathan’s box. 

Macky knelt over there and tried to reach for something else, then she spoke to herself , “No. You can’t take everything away from me. I lost Nathan, but this time, Tom will be mine.” 

She then took out a .45 automatic that she has also hidden there. Her hand pulled back the barrel of the gun.

“Time to practice my shooting skills, then.” 

 

Donnie stood fazed as Tom had already left with the other car. “Now what do I do?” He asked himself, but someone else spoke for him, “Give me the keys of the van, Donnie.” Macky answered.

When Donnie looked back and saw the muzzle of Macky’s gun pointing at his face. He whimpered in fright as Macky pushed the barrel closer to his forehead. 

“Please, Ma'am Macky, don’t kill me!” He begged. 

“I won’t, if you give me the keys of the van.” 

Donnie immediately went for the keys in the cabinet and gave it to Macky. Before opening the door to the driver’s seat, Macky asked one more thing, “Where did Tom and J.R. go?” 

“Tom chased after Ms. J.R., she drove away and he chased her with one of the cars.” 

Then she whispered, “As if history is just repeating itself.”

Macky closed the door and started to drive out of the garage and out of the highway. She stepped on the gas and sped along the way. 

Meanwhile, the street lights zoomed past J.R.’s windshield like fuzzy rays of the sun. 

She is still crying as her mind entered a deep state of confusion. To her, nothing was right. Everything seemed to surreal and horrifying to her, that J.R. did not realized that she is driving too fast.

The roads leading to town proper were long but winding; full of hairpin turns that in just one wrong move, could send her vehicle flying away from the road to the cliffs. 

She kept mumbling over and over again about something, but in her mind eye, the scene when Nathan kissed Macky, kept changing back and forth from Tom kissing Macky.  Her mind was such in a ramble, she didn’t heard that Tom, driving behind her, was sounding off the horn of his car. 

“Dammit, J.R., stop now.” Tom muttered, hoping that J.R. would stop driving. 

J.R. whimpered out loud as she looked back,  “Nathan! Stop it! Stop chasing me!”

Tom rolled down the windows of the front seats, but then J.R. panicked as Tom's car started to gain on hers. He was trying to level his window with her car so he could talk to her. 

When she realized what he is doing, J.R. shifted it to the 4th gear that she zoomed past Tom’s car. 

"J.R.! Please stop now!" Tom shouted over as he popped out his head from the window. 

Suddenly, he noticed that a few meters away, there is a downward sharp curve coming J.R.'s way.

 _If she goes this fast, she'll fall out into the cliffs_  Tom thought. 

He wanted to shift gears also and tailgate J.R.'s car, but that could also cause her to lose control in driving and eventually crash. 

Suddenly, he realized why Nathan's car was found to have grazed J.R.'s car from behind; he was also trying to stop her, but was too unfortunate when he hit an oncoming truck at the other side of the road. 

Finally, what he was fearing for happened in a split second. J.R. went too fast that she lost control, her car flew out into the cliff. 

"J.R.!" he shouted out as he saw her car disappear in the distance.

 


	14. The Tin Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything has reached full circle as the mystery behind Macky's true motives had been revealed. J.R. may have survived the crash, but can Tom still reach out to her when she's in between mourning for Nathan and remembering who Tom really is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just three chapters left! :D I'll may be able to update Mr. Perfect next weekend, fear not :D When I'm rereading and re-editing these chapters, it feels like I'm writing them for the first time once again (am I making any sense? haha :P) Hope the dear readers enjoy this chapter :D

                                                     

Tom immediately pulled up at the narrow pedestrian lane. He went out of the car to run over the direction where J.R.’s car fell.

“Julie Rose!” He shouted again, with such agitation. Tom could never know what to expect; J.R.’s car must have fallen into a deep ravine, or crashed down. But the worst thought his mind can come up with is J.R. dying from the car crash.

_No, not my baby. Not J.R._

Tom repeated those words to himself over and over again as he ran towards the curve. 

After running almost five meters and to where J.R. crashed, he let out a sigh of relied and a sob when he saw that J.R. did not crashed in a cliff at all but in a rice paddy. It was all too dark on the road that no one could know if the side of the road is a cliff side or farms.

Tom immediately got down from the wrecked railing and into the rice paddy.  He saw that the airbag puffed out of the steering wheel, but it was pierced by shards of glass that J.R. still hit her head on the wheel. 

“J.R.?! I’m here now, please wake up!” Tom exclaimed as he tried to make his way from the muddy trail of the rice paddy. 

He saw blood dripping from her forehead, and then Tom felt the panic trying to claw its way out of his chest when he saw J.R. is still unconscious. 

Even though his shoes were deep in mud, he continued to walk towards the driver’s seat. When he reached the window, he placed his forefinger and middle finger in a spot in J.R.’s left wrist to feel her pulse. 

It was a steady beat under her skin, and her back is moving up and down indicating that she is still breathing. 

But Tom did not dare move her if he wanted to break some of J.R.’s bones that is. He needed to call rescue for this kind of situation. 

“J.R., baby, I’m here. Can you hear me?” He gently called out to her and he saw her stir and her eyes almost open. Tom steadied his breathing as he didn’t wanted his panic and relief mix. 

Then he took out his phone to search for the local emergency number and to call out for an ambulance. When he found one, he dialed the number and their answer was an immediate, “Baguio Med Center, how may I help you?” 

Tom breathed in before answering, “There’s an emergency here, near town proper, just past  _Zephyr Village_. Please send an ambulance, there’s been a car accident.” Tom could see the mist of his breath come out as he talked. The cold weather was hovering all over him. 

Tom told them to send the ambulance immediately and he was answered by an assurance that the respond team would arrive in 10 minutes. 

He ended the call and hoped that the rescue would come quick. He also thought if Donnie had already called the police, when suddenly, he heard a gunshot near his feet.  He jumped from his shock and when he looked up, he saw Macky standing near the railing, holding up her gun. “You could’ve let her die by not calling an ambulance.” 

Tom grimaced and tried to take a step forward but, Macky pulled the hammer of her gun. “Nu-uh. Not one step further, Tommy boy.” 

Tom is immovable with Macky pointing her gun at him. Then she spoke again, “You could’ve been by my side if you weren’t so smitten with J.R.! I could’ve included you in my plans; to dispatch J.R. then have for ourselves the part of Cassandra and Robert’s will! But you’re just too stupid, listening to your heart over your head– well boohoo!” She spat the last words at Tom, trying to mock him. 

He breathed in and threw a retaliation at her, “I may be stupid for loving J.R., I will admit that. But it’s the only thing I have done that I am proud of. I’d rather die than help you, Macky. You’re way beyond help, lady.”

Macky chewed her lip angrily, then, she squeezed the trigger. For a while, Tom felt a hot stinging pain go through his left arm, near the shoulder. He only realized that Macky shot him when he already fell on to the mud of the rice paddy. 

He didn’t screamed out in pain, but what he heard next were blaring sirens of police cars. It was as if the volume of his ears were turned down and he could only hear a loud thud; a warning shot from a police officer. 

Macky were to run away if the police have not fired a warning shot. Bit by bit, everything became hazy to him; the police arresting Macky, people climbing down the railing and coming towards him; and the blue and red lights of the patrol cars. 

He glanced at his shoulder to find that a big blot of red has appeared in it; his blood has covered almost a quarter of his shirt.  After seeing that, Tom fainted.

—– 

 _“Sir, can you hear me? You are in Baguio Med now.”_ A voice of a woman called for him. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself lying on a thin-cushioned bed in the emergency room. 

“Where’s J.R.? What happened?” He whispered weakly. 

“You fainted after you got shot. But we have removed the bullet. Ms. Trillo is already admitted now.” 

Tom tried to sit up; the clear light of the operating lamp blinded him. But he suddenly remembered something, that when he tried to move quick, his wound bled from the bandages. 

“Please try not to force yourself.” The gentle nurse carefully warned him. 

“My belongings? Where did you put them? The box?” He started to sound desperate when he tried to stand up. They had changed him into a hospital gown that was a bit too small for him.

“The police brought it with you. Do you want me to give it to you?” 

Tom only nodded in response, then she went over the counter and took out the box, his watch and wallet from a cardboard box. When it was handed to him, he saw blood had soaked into the leather of his watch. He was handed also the box, then he felt the coldness of the tin box in his palm. 

“Tell me, Miss, where is Ms. Trillo’s room?” Then he winced when he tried to move his left arm. 

“The female ward is at the 2nd floor, south wing. Why?”

He was now on his feet and ready to go, but the nurse worriedly placed her hands on his shoulders, to get him back on his place. But she tried to reach for his shoulders, and she can only give up as Tom was too tall for her. 

“Please, Sir, you need to take a rest first.” She instructed. 

“But I need to talk to her! Please, Miss.” Tom begged. He flashed her his signature puppy-dog eyes. The nurse tried to resist, but those beautiful blue eyes were torturing her. 

“Agh! Okay! But I you have to be back here in 10 minutes or I will surely get a scolding from  _Doc Ibañez_!” She replied helplessly. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you know it.” He winked at the poor nurse who was hyperventilating because she was just too smitten by Tom.

The nurse placed his arm in a sling before he could visit J.R. 

Tom assured that he could walk by himself, then he went out of the ER. He took careful steps through the corridors, holding carefully the tin box on his hand. He was thinking how J.R. is doing, if she's got no broken bones or if she's in pain right now. 

With this, his steps went faster and faster every turn in the corridor. The grip he had on the box tighten when he thought of her face; is she in pain or maybe in agony? Tom couldn't help but think about what J.R. is feeling now and the knots in his stomach won't go away unless he sees her breathing and safe. 

The sign to the female ward flashed at the end of the corridor that leads to the south wing. He wasn't told enough about J.R.'s room number but he asked a security guard where is the room she might be possibly in. 

The security guard pointed at him the last room at the left side of the narrow corridor of the female ward. Tom couldn't wait, his steps got quicker even though his wound hurts every time he would step on his left side. When he reached it, he softly knocked on the door and it was opened by Donnie. 

"Tom! How are you? I heard you got shot!" Donnie exclaimed, maybe the memory of Macky pointing the gun at him still terrified him till now. 

"I'm okay now, Donnie. May I come in?" 

"Yeah sure. Everyone's here to take shifts on watching over Ms. J.R.." 

When Donnie said  _everyone_ , it was every one of the house helps that are present and watching over J.R. Manang Belen;  _Romnick_ , their gardener; some of the women that are wives to the caretakers and a woman to whom Donnie introduced to Tom as his wife,  _Analyn_. 

Then there's J.R.; lying peacefully in the bed, with a purple bruise on the left side of her pale face, and a cut on her lip. There was a bandage wrapped around her forehead, covering the injury she has. 

He wanted to run to her side and kiss just her hand so badly. But he had to restrain himself, because there were too many people inside the room. 

Then Tom leaned in to Donnie to ask him something, "Where's Macky?"

Donnie whispered his answer, "She's detained now at the police station. I know that Sir Martin is very angry that he would be here in Baguio, the day after tomorrow," then he sighed, "I never really knew that Ma'am Macky is capable of something like that-- I mean, she pointed a gun at my face, Tom!" 

He tapped Donnie's shoulder so he wouldn't exaggerate, "That's all over now, mate. You can calm down." 

Then, they all gasped when they saw J.R. stir up and open her eyes for the first time that night. 

Tom felt his heartbeat skip when he saw her trying to sit up. He instinctively went beside her to help her, but Manang Belen and Analyn already helped her.

"Manang Belen? Donnie? You're all here." She mumbled weakly as her throat was sore from the crash. 

"Analyn! * _Andito ka rin..._  I thought that Macky sent you away?" J.R. reached for her hand. 

Analyn was J.R.'s previous caregiver, but Macky sent her away when she said that she would take over in taking care of J.R. 

"I'm so sorry, Ms. Julie, if I left you; I had no choice. I knew that _maldita_ was up to no good." Analyn tearfully replied as she placed J.R.'s hand on her hands and held it tenderly. 

Then, for a moment, J.R.'s eyes flickered at the side, and there she saw Tom. 

Her face froze and her eyes widened with surprise as she laid her eyes on him. She couldn't be dreaming, but she knows that this man is not Nathan. He is not the man she loved and lost. 

"Hi, J.R.." Tom could only brush the back of his head with his hand as he shyly mumbled the words out of his lips. 

"You are Tom, right?" She asked him.

Tom couldn't find the right words to say, and so Donnie spoke out, " _Magkape muna tayo_ _,_  guys." and with that he urged them to go out and get coffee. 

He also nudged some of them and they understood that Tom and J.R. needed to talk alone. 

When they are all alone, Tom inhaled sharply and spoke, "I am. My name is Tom Hiddleston." 

J.R. eyes softened as she studied his face. "God, you look just like Nathan. In every way." 

Tom then took a step forward and spoke again, "You're brother, Sir McLeod, hired me-- to bring back your memories, by pretending to be Nathan, and by reliving your moments with him." 

J.R. only curled her legs closer to her body and placed her hands on her forehead, that covered her eyes. "You are not, Nathan. You were never him." She whispered, as if in any moment she would break down and cry. 

"I might not be him, but... I know what I felt for you." 

She looked up at him and she thought, _What he felt? What does he feel for me?_

"Please leave me." She replied bleakly. 

"J.R., I can't--" Tom begged but she cut him off,

"Please! Just... Leave me alone." 

Tom heaved a quiet sigh and tried to bite his lip or he may just cry right then. But before obeying her, Tom got closer to her side and placed the tin box near her feet. 

"Macky kept that all this time. So that, you may never remember again, she said." A tear fell from his eye by saying this. And he feared that it would be followed by more.

He left it and turned back, and he went ahead and left the room. Tom saw Donnie and the rest of them actually waiting outside. He didn't said anything to Donnie when he passed by him, he only shook his head and left. 

J.R. slowly took the tin box in her hands. She could already feel the tears streaming over her cheeks as she opened the box. When she opened the latch, she saw under the cover the words,  _To my dearest Babe-- My wedding gift for you._

J.R. couldn't help it, she finally burst into tears as she recognized the handwriting to those words-- It was Nathan's.

Inside the box was every thing that had become a part of their relationship. It contained every souvenir that J.R. never knew Nathan faithfully kept. 

A receipt from the first time they met; Nathan bought her a milk tea drink in a photo shoot that gave way for them to know each other. A baller that J.R. gave Nathan to put around on the lens of his camera. 

There was a bracelet, that Nathan gave her when they went to Palawan. Then, amidst the souvenirs and memorabilia, was a small blue velvet-covered box and below it, a letter. She took it along with the letter. 

J.R. hesitated to open the small box; but she still did, even though tears are now blurring her sight, and then there it is, a ring with a large ruby stone in the middle of it. Nathan's engagement ring for her. 

Her chest convulsed with sobs and her throat dried up as she cried. She couldn't stop herself from crying as she saw all of those things. As bravely as she could, J.R. opened the letter. And it said; _  
_

_To my dearest Babe,_

_If you are reading this now, Julie Rose, it means that I am now gone and_  
     had already left this world. I convinced my nurse right now to write me a  
     letter for you. Just to say goodbye, you know.  


_I know that you may have already found the little blue box. It’s an engagement ring for you, Babe. It’s also your birthstone, ruby._

_I know I won’t be there to ask you ‘Will you marry, me?’ or maybe watch  you walk down the aisle, wearing a wedding dress that would look like it was made out of magic, that we would be like in a fairy tale dream ending. The Prince in a white tux marries his beloved Princess._

_I’m sorry, Babe, for ignoring you for days. I just needed to always rehearse for my proposal and I got so worried for the ring that I got so nervous whenever I’m with you. You know me, I’m the tensed kind of guy._

_I’m sorry for a lot of things. Truly._

_J.R., I need you to know that you are the greatest thing that have come into my life. Unfortunately, I am the one who is not meant to stay._

_But there’s one thing I need you to do for me; **FORGET ABOUT ME**._

_Forget everything about me. Instead, live your life to the fullest. Do everything on your bucketlist, like you always told me; travel anywhere you like; be an actress like you always dreamed of; find a guy ,better, if not, as handsome as I did._

_But just forget about me. Don’t look back, Babe, just forward._

_I will always be with you. No matter what and you know that. There are also people who will take care of your and will never leave your side; Martin, Analyn and Donnie; Manang Belen and everyone else._

_But remember this; I will always love you. To the last heartbeat and to my last breath, ‘literally’._

_I love you, Julie Rose Bellegardé Trillo._

_Your one and only,_  
                                                                                          N. H.  


J.R. held the letter close to her heart as she cried quietly. 

The physical pain that she felt was nothing to be compared to the pain of every memory that she now remembers. She could remember every thing now with Nathan, even the night he died. 

"Babe, I'm sorry--It's all my fault..." She cried out, her breath ragged with sobs and her eyes stung because of the tears. 

Manang Belen and Analyn heard her cry, and so they came for her and comforted her. But as she cried and cried, J.R. thought-- the souvenirs or even the ring, is not what Nathan had left of; but it is the pain of losing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Andito ka rin: You are also here


	15. Unsaid Goodbyes and New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When J.R. told Tom to stay away, he wouldn’t dare disobey her. And now, he is leaving Baguio City; would he also leave the good memories?
> 
> Meanwhile for J.R. and Martin, Macky is still their problem, or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dearies! :D Once again, I corrected some confusing sentences, and it's okay now. And oh boy, just two chapters left ^_^

                                                    

He zipped his baggage up and then took his satchel bag on his right arm.

It has been five days since he was shot and the wound on his left arm is healing.

J.R., on the other hand, has not been discharged yet, Donnie had told him. They are still analyzing her CAT scans, while Martin arrived two days ago, but Tom didn’t talked to him or met with him. He wanted to leave, not bearing any good memories from them; because it will just hurt more for him.

Before leaving the room, he let out a sigh and looked around.

 _Goodbye, Baguio City._  He thought.

Slowly, he made his way out of the corridor and into the living room.

He looked up over his right; and then he saw J.R.’s room. Tom couldn’t resist it, he went upstairs to look at her room for the last time. The door was open and her bed had already been changed to new bed sheets. But her portraits still hung over the wall, and they were so captivating as ever.

Tom inhaled slowly as he felt his heart weigh his chest down with sadness. And suddenly, all of the memories of J.R. flashed over his mind-eye;

The first time he saw her; her smile when he sang her a lullaby so she could sleep; when J.R. slipped and fell into his arms when they were in the shore in Palawan; but of all the memories he loved the most was when he kissed her forehead.

He placed his fingers on his lips, as if feeling once again the way he planted a gentle kiss on her forehead.

 _Told you, mate... You’ll never get the girl._  He pondered to himself.

Before Tom could stare out longer at J.R.’s portraits, he left the room and went downstairs.

He quickly grabbed his baggage and was ready to go. But there was a side in him that wanted to stay and be with J.R.

_Don’t be dumb! She told you to stay away, and that is what you are going to do… You’ll go home and forget about her. There is nothing for you here now._

He shook his head of all the sentiments and pain. He has to move on, or he’ll be buried with the pain of losing J.R. ultimately.

And with all of his strength, he walked towards the doorway and with that, he said his goodbyes.

 _Goodbye, Julie Rose._  
——–

  
_Three Weeks Later…_

 

The afternoon sun shone from the frosted windows of the room. It had been a hot day that sweat glistened from Macky’s neck, then came rolling down to her orange detainee uniform.

She was to be interrogated today and she knows that it would be a lawyer sent by Martin. Her patience was beginning to shrink in every minute passed that she was left alone in that empty room.

Then, the door was opened, and it was not a lawyer at all that entered the room– it was Martin, followed by J.R..

She almost gasped when she saw how J.R. looked now; she still had a wound on the side of her forehead that had a small patch of gauze on, but her hair was neatly tucked behind in an elegant bun, and her clothes; cream-colored blouse and black slacks. She was herself again, not the childish and almost disabled self that Macky had caused her to be.

They both sat down opposite Macky who is restrained in handcuffs. She eyed J.R. as she sat down slowly to face her.

“Julie Rose. You are yourself again.” Macky gave a mocking remark.

“I know, and you’re not blind, Macky; I know you can see me now, alive and well, and also restored of my memories.” J.R. sarcastically retaliated.

“What have we done to you, for you to do this to us, Criselda? Did we mistreat you?” Martin began bitterly. He used her name instead of her nickname, and there Macky knew that Martin is intimidating her but it won’t work.

J.R. placed a gentle hand on her brother’s arm and nodded at him, “Kuya, let me.”

But Macky snickered, “What? You’re going to use on me your conversational skills.”

J.R. stared directly at her, but not with anger, instead, with gentleness.

“I want to ask for your forgiveness, Macky.” She said it with such sincerity that anyone would think that J.R. may have lost her mind.

But she continued, “Can I also tell you a story? The story when you came into our lives?”

Macky did not said anything, she is waiting for where J.R. is getting on.

“Mama told me that I will have a big sister, and I was so happy because I have a big brother, then I will have both sibling– then I saw you, do you remember that?”

She indeed do remember that time-- a little and adorable J.R. running to her for a tight embrace as soon as she arrived in their home.

“Since then, I’ve always loved you, Macky. But through the years, I became distracted with school, my friends, my work and everything that, I forgot about you.”

Slowly, J.R. reached for her hand, and Macky could see that tears fall from her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Macky… I know you may never forgive me, but– I’m deeply, truly sorry.” J.R. tearfully said.

But, Macky withdrew her hand away from J.R..

J.R. wiped her tears away with Martin’s handkerchief. Macky remained resilient with her pride.

“But– I also love Kuya, and that I will obey him.”

Then she looked at Martin so he could take over the conversation.

“J.R. wishes that we will not file any charges against you; we will forget everything you have done to our family. But, you will be cut off from Mama’s will. Every financial savings, investments and even credit cards that belonged to you--will be taken away from you.” Martin then clenched his jaw and sat back.

Macky couldn’t help but draw back a sob from her throat, “You are not incriminating me– to let me suffer on my own?!”

Martin slammed the table with his fist, “That is not enough for what you have done to J.R.! You are lucky that she convinced me not to file charges!”

Then J.R. held Martin’s elbow to hold him. “Kuya, please…” She whispered.

Martin exhaled through his nose in anger, and so J.R. took over again,

“That is what at least that we can do for you, Macky.” She explained.

“Leave me, that is what you can do for me.” Macky sneered at them.

Martin was about to say something, but J.R. held tight on to his elbow again, so he would not speak out again.

“Then we will. Goodbye, Macky.” J.R. spoke out so softly.

J.R. stood first to help Martin stand up. Martin immediately turned his back, but J.R. stole a glance from Macky, who was fuming and in tears. When they finally left, she bursted into with violent tears.

She could feel it all; the anger, guilt, and pain.

She never knew that J.R. would bring herself to say such things, such as that she loves her; even though, she has done worse things to her.

But to think that she may have to rebuild herself once again, not just her financial status that she recently lost; but her reputation and her promise to fulfill her job as a nurse and caregiver.

Macky only cried to herself alone. And somehow she accepted, it’s not J.R.’s fault in the first place, it was hers all along.  
——

When Martin and J.R. went back home, they both sat together in the quiet living room, and with two strawberry _taho_ (soy) and also some potato chips as their snack.

They ate together and talked. Martin started,“J.R., would you forgive me, for hiring Tom so he could be Nathan?”

J.R. paused for a while before answering the question. It has been weeks since Tom left and this is the first time that the two of them talked about Tom.

“I know that you saw no other way for me to get well, Kuya. But there is nothing to forgive. Tom may have looked so much like Nathan; but he will never be a Nathan in my life.”

He exhaled slowly as if letting go of a big burden, then J.R. laughed at Martin because she said that he looked like a kettle whistling. They both laughed and jeered at each other, like they always did before. Martin was just in a bliss that J.R. is now herself again.

Her  _disease_  was never there, that Macky had been conniving with J.R.’s new neurologist that they invented a fake disease so Martin wouldn’t notice that Macky is feeding her up with ketamine.

J.R. would’ve had a fast recovery if not for Macky. But when she crashed her car and hit her head, she told Martin; that is when her memories were fully restored.

Martin shoved four pieces of chips in his mouth, then J.R. said to him, “What do I do now, Kuya?”

Martin tried to speak with his mouth full, but J.R. giggled and stopped him, saying that he should finish his food first.

When he was done he said, “What do you want to do, J.R.? Would you like to go back to modelling again?”

J.R. only looked away and closed her eyes for a second. She suddenly imagined Nathan holding a camera, viewing her from an eyepiece. But she looked back at Martin.

“No. That’s a busy world to live in. And I don’t want to get caught up again with that. I guess I am done with that phase in my life.” She sighed then placed her hands on her lap.

“You could go home with me in London. There’s a job waiting for you there.” He smiled when he mentioned  _job_.

“What job?” She inquired quickly.

“Mr. Woodley has retired as head of HR in Renovis, I guess he needs a replacement. At least an OIC, like you.”

J.R. gasped, “Kuya! I mean– you would give that position to me? Shouldn’t I start from the bottom?”

“You already hit rock bottom, luv. Now, you need to be on top again; to get you back to the present world.” Martin encouraged.

J.R. embraced Martin, “Oh Kuya, thank you very much!”

He laughed as J.R. gave him a tight hug.

J.R. let go for a while and she said, “I promise that I won’t let you down.”

Martin patted her head, “You never did, J.R.. And I know you will make a good HR Department Head.”

J.R. smiled so sweetly, something Martin missed and now seeing again for a very long time.

“Ready to go home? To Westminster?”

“Ready as ever, Kuya.”

J.R. has everything back again. But one was missing, and that is undeniably Nathan. But she thought to herself, is he the one really missing in her life?

On the other hand, Tom did left without any goodbyes. But deep inside, she didn’t wanted to say to herself that she lost Tom because to begin with, he was never hers.

_I could never tell if what I felt for him was just an illusion. An imaginary love for a man that I may never meet again._


	16. Return to London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J.R. has finally made peace with her past, but Tom has yet to make amends with his own future. Will that future ever involve J.R. along the way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just another chapter left! :D I'll be posting it here after a while ^_^

                                                     

 

The familiar rain of Westminster greeted J.R. when she arrived in London.

 _Ah, here’s the gloomy ambiance of Merry Old London._ She thought to herself as the soft pour of the rain patted against the clear windows of Heathrow.

She was met by Mr. Poe, Martin’s chauffeur. As they drove away from the airport, he asked J.R. if she wanted to return to her flat. 

But she shook her head, “Please, take me to St. Matthew’s first.” 

“The cemetery or the church?” 

Before answering, J.R. took out the tin box from her bag, then, “The cemetery.”

On the way, she asked Poe, “Mr. Poe, do you have motor oil or anything that can burn?”

Mr. Poe suddenly took a quick look-back at J.R. “What for, Ms. J.R.?”

“Just give me what I need. You’ll see when we get there.”

Poe could only nod in reply and say nothing about what she had just asked.

After a few miles from the airport, they made a turn that leads to St. Matthew’s They passed by the church and the end of the road lead them to the graveyard. 

Their car stopped by a curb, and there, J.R. got down from it.  But as soon as she came out, the rain started to pour steadily again. 

“Ms. J.R., let me get you an umbrella.” Mr. Poe said to J.R. as he got out of the driver’s seat and to J.R. 

J.R. took the umbrella and she started walking down the graveyard. 

The dewy grasses touched the soles of her shoes, while the soft rain trickled into her umbrella. She was told that Nathan’s grave was at the farther side of the park, with a tombstone engraved in black marble. 

Her eyes immediately saw it as she approached that side of the graveyard, but with her heart thumping loudly on her chest. It was as if she’s meeting him for the first time from a very long absence. 

J.R. felt her hands shake as she held the tin box, but when she reached Nathan’s tombstone; all of her tensed emotions, diffused. 

The tombstone said,

 _Nathaniel Edward Henderson_  
September 9, 1984-August 22, 2014.  
A beloved son and brother. A love lost.

The last part of his epitaph made her lips quiver as she broke out into tears. J.R. felt her knees being pulled down on to his grave. 

“Babe. My Nathan. I’m here.” Her voice came out like a faint cry in the midst of the rain.

Then she placed the tin box on the trimmed grass that grew on his graveyard. The longer she stared at his name, the more the memories are coming back at her.  She felt worse when she couldn’t remember anything, but now all of it are coming back to her; it’s like she’s reliving her bad dreams all over again. 

But, J.R. took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a while. And there, she is ready. 

“You had a letter written for me. That’s so you, Nathan. Expressing yourself through words.” She tried to joke even though her tears are falling faster than the raindrops. 

She wiped them off with her sleeve then straightened herself up, “Anyways– You told me that I move on. You even said that to love someone else– and also to forget about you… I can’t forget about you. I will always remember you.” 

She now placed the tin box on the grass and said, “But, I will make a promise to you– I’ll move on. Still, I will never, ever forget  _again_  my memories with you. I promise, Nathan.” 

J.R. laid down her umbrella to the side until she felt the rain come down on her, then she opened the tin box. And with all of her strength, she poured the flammable oil that she asked from Mr. Poe at the things inside the box.

 _Goodbye, Mr. Henderson._  She thought. 

Then, she set the contents of the box on fire. 

J.R. closed her eyes and faced the skies. The rain fell on her face and on her body and she felt, _free_. 

She may have destroyed all of the things that connects her with Nathan; but it is the only way to set herself free.  After a while, Mr. Poe saw her drenched in the rain and the box burning. And so he ran up to her and gave her his jacket. 

“Ms. J.R., whatever you are doing--if that’s some kind of ritual or what.” Poe exclaimed. 

J.R. slowly smiled, then, “I am done. Take me back to my flat, please. I’ll meet with my brother tomorrow.” 

Poe only nodded in reply and he took her in with the umbrella. 

Finally, there is nothing that holds J.R. back anymore. 

—-

_A few days after…_

He grunted as he frustratingly rearranged the bills inside the overflowing luggage. 

Tom placed the money back that he had taken from Martin’s payment, and he made sure that it’s all complete and taken back. 

Then after a while, he heard his room door swing by with Ajay leaning on at the doorway. 

“I thought you had a customer up here with all of your grunting and sighing.” He sarcastically remarked. 

A few seconds later, Rosa ran into the room; only to position herself on top of the luggage and started purring and blinking at Tom. 

“Come on, you fur-ball, get down from there.” Tom irritatingly sighed. 

“Maybe Rosa wants the cash for herself.” Ajay joked. 

Tom didn’t even gave a snicker to his joke and only scooped up his cat and place her down on the floor. 

“Why are you even taking that back to Sir McLeod anyway?” He asked Tom. 

Finally, Tom got to zip the luggage up that fitted well with no sign that it’s about to pop. 

“Because, my good friend– I don’t deserve this money.” Tom replied. 

“What?” Ajay blurted out. 

Tom turned towards him and answered, “I don’t deserve any cent from that. J.R. regained her memories when she crashed her car. I didn’t do anything.” 

“Ooh, don’t be too harsh on yourself, man.” Ajay then flopped down on Tom’s large bean bag. 

Tom only shrugged then he placed down the luggage. “And besides, I should forget about her. I should live on with my life. She must be moving on now too.” he sat on edge of his bed and Rosa then climbed on to his lap for a scratching behind the ears. 

“I think you’re the one who needs to have an Amnesia right now.” Ajay teased, and Tom retaliated with a thrown pillow. 

“But why? Why do you have to forget about J.R.? I mean, you like her, don’t you?” Ajay asked. 

Tom laid back on his bed and inhaled sharply. 

“I just don’t like her, mate; I love her.” 

Ajay’s eyes widened and the both of them were quiet for a while. Tom closed his eyes, then he heard Ajay say, “Then go for her. Tell her the truth.” 

Tom sat up, “Do you think it’s that easy? Jay, she told me to stay away.” 

“ _After_  her incident. Come on, Tom, she was confused that time. If you tell her what you really feel, then maybe she’ll tell you that she feels the same way.” 

Tom brows furrowed, “How did you became so expert about relationships?” 

“Bailey and I talk out our feelings.” Ajay explained, then Rosa now went to him to be cuddled. 

“Oh.” Tom only nodded. 

Tom’s gaze fell again on the luggage, “I’ll bring that over to Martin’s office this tomorrow morning.” 

“Good luck, man.” Ajay only winked at him.

Tom only went quiet as he thought about what Ajay said. If only it was that easy; to tell J.R. what he really feels.

But how could he when he knows that J.R. is in the process of moving on? How could Tom be able to do it?

—–

“Just right up the corner, mate.” Tom instructed the _Uber_ driver on where to pull out. He paid his fare before getting out of the car, and along with the heavy luggage loaded with money. 

And there in front of him stood the skyscraper of Renovis. Tom still remember that almost a few months ago when Martin hired him. And he could perfectly remember the first time he saw J.R.’s picture.

When he entered the reception hall, he was greeted by the same woman, but this time, he isn’t accompanied by Mason and McCord. 

Tom gave an ID in exchange for a visitor’s ID, then, the woman noticed his luggage. 

“You’re not carrying a person inside that, are you, luv?” She quipped. 

“Nope. Just something important.” Tom replied sweetly. 

This made the woman giggle and her kinky hair shake, “All right. Sir McLeod’s office is at the 20th. Off you go, then.” 

“Thanks very much.” Tom replied with a nod. 

He made his way into the elevator and pushed the button that said _20th_. On the way, the elevator stopped at 11th, and a group of people came in. Then, he noticed  _someone_ that stood at the front

He held his breath as he recognized that back of that head; it must be J.R.

 _Is that her? Is it J.R.?_  He asked himself.

Only to see that it was not J.R. at all; just another woman who had the same hair as J.R. does. 

But if only he could know, J.R. doesn’t wear her hair down anymore like she used to as she is now the O.I.C. and soon to be Department Head of the Human Resource. 

And meanwhile, at the 19th floor, J.R. had just arrived. As she walked into the front lobby and into the hallway of cubicles; her assistants are already in place to greet her for the morning. 

“Janice, how are the memos coming up?” J.R. asked as she and her assistants followed her towards her office. 

“Already printed and ready for your signature, Ma'am.” Janice replied. 

“Bertie, have you told Mrs. Purefoy about the new format of the employee evaluation forms?” She now turned to the bespectacled man with a moustache that is walking beside her. 

“It’s all done, Ma'am. Mrs. Purefoy already has a copy.” He then checked something out of his notes. 

Then, a woman, just as tall as J.R., almost ran into her but stopped just exactly at the right moment to hand J.R. a cup of coffee. 

“Ma'am. Espresso with no sugar.” Natalie offered. 

J.R. took it quickly and had a sip, and she narrowed her eyes at Natalie after. 

“This is so damn good, Natalie.” J.R. had a cheerful tone that lifted Natalie’s spirits up. 

“I’m glad that you liked it, Ma'am.” She replied giddily. 

When they arrived at the door of her office she quickly turned as she remembered something,

“By the way, has my brother arrived?” She asked the three of them. 

But before they could answer, J.R. said, “On second thought, I’ll just check on him later, myself.” And she closed the door with a smile at them. 

Bertie exhaled deeply, “Well, let’s get to work. Chop, chop, ladies.”

—- 

Tom carried the luggage so it wouldn’t drag on at the carpet-covered floor of the 20th. When he approached the table of Martin’s secretary, she greeted him,

“I know you– Mr. Hiddleston. What brings you here?” Her puffy eyes lit up when they met glances.

“Hi there, uhm, Ms. Davenport. Is Sir McLeod in?” Tom asked courteously.

She shook her head then, “He’s still with a investors’ meeting at the 30th. But he’ll be back at 12, would you like to wait for him?” 

Tom gestured with his hands and said, “Oh no! It’s better that he doesn’t see me at all. Anyways, I’m giving him back the payment he gave me– for my services.” And he tapped the luggage. 

“All of it? But, Sir McLeod already took that from his personal account–” 

“But I don’t need it, Ms. Davenport. I’m giving it back.” Tom insisted. 

But Ms. Davenport asked again, “But why?” 

Tom sighed and looked away, “I don’t deserve this money. I did it in the first place not because of the money; I did it for J.R.” 

They went quiet for a while. But Tom wanted his visit to be quick and so, “I’ll be going now. Please tell Martin I said  _Hi_.” And then, he turned his back on the secretary and headed for the elevator door. 

The moment he went down, Tom would never realize who has come up from the 19th through the stairs; it was J.R.. 

She headed directly at Martin’s office when she saw Ms. Davenport dragging a large luggage inside. 

“Whatever is that, Ms. Davenport?” She pointed out at the luggage. 

“It’s a returned payment for Sir McLeod.” Then she huffed as she tugged on the handle of the luggage. 

“From whom?” J.R. asked, and she sounded confused. 

“Mr. Hiddleston–” And Ms.Davenport took the luggage behind the doorway of Martin’s office. 

“Tom? Tom Hiddleston?” J.R. inquired curiously. 

“Yes. That escort your brother hired. He said that he doesn’t deserve the payment and that he did his job because of you.” 

For a while, J.R. felt her heart stop. She asked herself, why would someone like him say such things? That he did it because of her? She felt a warm feeling in her chest that she tried to dismiss.  

J.R. cleared her throat “I’ll be going now. Please just inform me if Kuya has arrived.” 

“Will do, Ms. J.R..” 

She continued walking down the stairs but she felt dazed. She kept asking herself why would Tom return such a great amount. J.R. suddenly questioned herself; does it mean that she meant something far greater to Tom than she could know? Did Tom fell in love with her, truly? 

J.R. tried to shake away those thoughts but she only found herself pondering as she leaned her back flat on the wall. 

She wondered, maybe Tom was just being kind. But there is an another side in her telling her that Tom is being more than kind to give back all the money. 

 _Don’t be stupid. He’s an escort. They’re not supposed to fall in love with their clients._  She explained to herself. Her mind may accept that answer, but her heart does not.

 

At the ground floor, Tom is now contemplating on what he would say to Ajay that he never got the chance to talk to J.R. But even if he did, Tom would only lose it and tell J.R. that he loves her right there and then.

_It's most likely I would do just that. But I don’t want to embarrass myself either._

Tom could only shake his head and chuckle to himself. As he is about to pass by the reception hall, he saw something along a table, surrounded by two couches. 

It was a thick ream of small flyers that had something written on it that caught his attention. The flyer is crafted with the words  _Job Fair_. 

Tom went over the table to pick up the flyer. His eyes searched for something that he felt like he wanted to see. What he only read from the start to finish are the companies that are going to participate; still sponsored by Renovis. Tom was about to put down the flyer until he saw something that surprised him.

_Opening remarks to be spoken by the new HR Department Head, Ms. Julie Rose Trillo._

Tom’s whole body froze as he tried to read that over and over again.

_J.R. will be there. She will be there… And I need to see her._

He immediately placed the flyer on his pocket, and paused for a while before leaving. But he went on his way; with a bright smile on his face as he left the building. He knows that he will see J.R. again, and that he will make it happen no matter what.


	17. The Renovis Job Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom is determined that he will see J.R. at the job fair. But will destiny permit him so? While J.R., will she ever let her heart decide this time of her happiness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, it's finally the last chapter! :D I would like very much to thank all the readers who have given Mr. Perfect a kudos, and also for every hit that this fanfic series had made. I hope that it had given all of you delight while reading over this series. Thank you very much, dearies ^_^

 

                                                       

 

Tom turned around to where Ajay, Ajay’s mother, _Mrs. Adita Ranjit_ , and Bailey sat in the couch as he presented himself on a navy-blue suit, partnered with a black tie and a baby blue shirt. 

“So, how do I look? Comments?” He giddily asked, and then he pointed at Ajay,

“You look like you’re going with a client.” He playfully quipped and Bailey and his mother lightly slapped his shoulder for that remark. 

“No, Tom, you look great. Very professional.” Ajay’s mother, Adita, gave him relief with her words. 

“And smashing, too, I’d say.” Bailey commented last. 

Tom sighed and then came to them to give them all kisses in the cheek to thank them. Ajay tried to refuse his kiss on the cheek but ended up with both of his cheeks kissed by Tom. 

“Man! Come on!” Ajay wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. 

“Thanks so much! Well, wish me luck. I hope that J.R. notices me there.” He sighed while he is pinning his cuff links. 

“Come here, Tom, and I will tell you something.” Adita motioned to him to come closer. Tom got down on his knee and listened intently, 

“You want to get the girl? You have to work for it. Tell her how much you feel. You know us women; the truth is always the best.” And she pinched his cheeks that left a smile on his lips. 

“Thanks, Auntie.” Tom replied sweetly. 

“Uhm, Tom, it’s 8am. The job fair starts at 9am.” Ajay reminded him, while tapping his wrist watch. 

“Oh, blast! I have to go! Bye, guys! When I come back, I won’t be single anymore!” Tom, along with his sleek body bag, shouted out as he ran out of the room and out of their flat. 

Everything felt so beautiful and majestic to Tom. The sun was just shinning right, the blue skies looked so bright, and the air felt like magic was floating all over. He couldn’t think of any negative thoughts, or even bad scenarios; all that he could think about is J.R. 

What she might be wearing today, is she doing well while hosting the event? Is she okay? Those were the questions that are running up and down his mind while he waited for a taxi on the street.

He immediately got one and there, he is happily on his way to Renovis.

“Where to?” The driver asked Tom. 

“Regent Street, the Renovis building.” Tom enthusiastically replied as he settled at the back seat. The driver did not said anything back and only chewed on the gum on his mouth. 

Tom was about to sit properly when the car took off so quick, that he almost fell out of his seat. Tom tried to keep himself on his seat as the reckless driver sped their way on the road. 

Then he noticed that the driver was wearing headphones on both ears, and that he could almost hear the banging music that was blaring off of the pieces. 

Tom could only grunt in disgust, but he was pulled over to the left when the driver turned on a corner.

"Now I know how my clothes feel when they're in the wash." Tom muttered through gritted teeth. 

The driver kept on turning hard on every corner and almost brushing the car's hood onto the next car's bumper, that sent Tom's heart hanging in the edge. 

He did kept a tight grip on a handle near the windows, but that didn't stopped the inertia, pulling and pushing him from his seat. Suddenly, Tom realized that they are about to cross an intersection, and the driver couldn't resist but to beat the red light. 

"NO! You tosser! You'll get us both killed!!!" Tom screamed out at the back, but the driver didn't heard a thing from him. 

Tom held his breath and closed his eyes, also praying that they might cross the intersection safely. 

And just like all of the angels in heaven heard him, they got safely across but the hell-for-leather ride kept on. The Renovis building was almost at the far side of his view and maybe a few blocks away, but he could only wish to arrive safely at the job fair.

_And to see J.R. once again, perhaps._

But, his train of thought was derailed when the car stopped with a violent force that slammed him into the window behind the driver. 

"What the actual fuck?!" He screamed out as he tried to see what happened, and there, their vehicle crashed onto another taxi, that placed a large bent on the car's hood. 

The driver removed his seat belt and he went outside and argued terribly with the other driver whom he crashed his car on. The other driver then now grabbed the reckless man by the collar and there was a fist fight that was about to ensue.

Tom had no time to for this as his wristwatch had just ticked a quarter to 9 o’clock.

He went out of the taxi and he can clearly hear the screamed argument better when he heard the taxi driver shout out to him,

“Oi! You haven’t paid your fare yet!” His eyes glared at Tom.

Tom, who already had his back turned, faced the man, and held out his middle finger at him.

“I ain’t paying for nothing.” He spatted at him, then he ran at the opposite street to use his Uber app, even though he had already used his free rides and that he may have to use his own money to pay now.

 _Why couldn’t have you done this earlier, stupid?_ He thought to himself.

Tom only waited for five minutes for the his ride to arrive, and as soon as she got into the car and sat shotgun, he blared,

“Regent Street, mate, Renovis building, and step on it please!”

The driver looked shock and almost nervous, but then Tom sighed and slumped back on his seat.

“I’m sorry, I was just having a bad day; see that taxi that crashed on to another car, I was his passenger. And I’m very late for a job fair.” He apologized calmly and the driver had a hint of smile at the corner of his lips.

“Everyone’s dying to get at that bloody job fair, though, I understand.” 

“Thank you. You say  _everyone_?” Tom asked, curious.

“I’ve had two passengers earlier who was also going to Renovis this morning. How about you, you up for a job there?” Then their vehicle turned to a shortcut.

“Yes-- well, no. I’m going to see someone there.” Tom then brushed the back of his head with his hand.

“Who? Girlfriend?” The driver asked.

Tom almost laughed but tried to contain it that it turned to giggles. He felt like everything today is topsy-turvy, not anymore magical just like earlier. Maybe destiny is telling him not to go for J.R., but as far as he knows, it’s what his heart is shouting at him.

“Maybe. If ever she would let me be his boyfriend. It still depends.” Tom sighed now.

Then, right at the corner, he could see the Renovis building, tall and proud. Tom breathed in deeply, it was time to go and meet his fate.

\---- 

J.R. saw her reflection from a glass door that she passed by. She wore a stunning blue dress; the top was adorned with sewn aqua-blue thread on baby blue sheer fabric. While the collar of her dress was a simple wing collar, while the skirt that reached above her knees were styled as billowing pleats. She didn't wore her hair in a bun but down, that flattered her whole outfit. J.R. was like a princess that whenever someone would see her, they would greet her with a slight bow. 

She was headed on to Martin's office, to remind him that the event is about to begin. When she finally reached the door, she gave a knock and Martin called out for her to come in. She found her brother sitting over his desk, his laptop still open.

 _Still can't let go of work._  She quietly thought with a smile. 

"Kuya! It’s time.” She sang at him when she reached his table.

"Of course, J.R.. I was just looking at some photos here that Victor sent from Morocco." He pointed at his laptop monitor.

"Really? Let me see!" J.R. hopped beside him and looked on to the screen. J.R. saw the photos, they were taken at a wedding reception; Mason and Aicha's wedding. 

"Aww, that's so sweet. I'm happy that Mr. Mason got to spend his leave that way." J.R. sighed. 

"I'm glad that Victor had finally moved on to a new chapter in his life." Martin agreed. 

He went on to the next photo and they saw a group photo of Mason, Aicha, Salima, Henri and even McCord who came with him to Morocco. 

"Dom! He's there too?" J.R. pointed out. 

"He also took his leave, and I had news from Ms. Van Vorst that McCord left Morocco with her cousin on a trip to Paris." Martin raised an eyebrow, and J.R. already got what he meant.

“Those cheeky bastards. Probably having the best Parisian holiday ever.” J.R. quipped, but then they both gave out a laugh at it.

Martin then placed a hand on J.R.’s, “I’ve something to tell you first, take a seat.”

She sat in front of his desk and listened very well. Then, Martin took out a folder from his drawers and showed it to J.R..

“I have asked Alex for an endorsement deal with us. She agreed and that she is taking off from her semi-retirement as a photographer. She also told me that she will be coming back as a model, and that the producers from _Asia’s Next Top Model_ has offered her to be the show host.” after a while, he opened the folder and J.R. saw photos of Alex that are part of her portfolio.

There were three or more photos, and all of them declared how good of a supermodel is Alex.

Suddenly, Martin showed the last picture and there, J.R. gasped and paused for a while.

It was a picture from their photo shoot with Alex; when she was still with Tom. She could remember it clearly as day, the pose where they both sat over a window; Tom embracing her from behind, as if they were star-crossed lovers staring lovingly outside the window.

“Oh, how did this get here?” Martin asked then he studied the photo, while not noticing that J.R. just went quiet as the dead.

“Tom might have been an escort, but he sure looks like a model too.” Martin wondered then his gaze drifted towards J.R.

“Are you okay, J.R.?” He asked, but she only nodded in response.

“Are you thinking about him?”

Then J.R. looked up and met her brother’s gaze, “No. Why would I?” she tried to pretend that the photo didn’t had any effect on her.

Martin sighed and placed down the picture. He gently tapped the table with his index finger then he started,

“I know you think about him, Julie. Especially after the day he returned my payment for his services.”

J.R. stared out into the windows, as if trying to fight an urge to say something.

“I know too that he loves you. I saw it in his eyes whenever he was with you. But I feared his presence might just remind you of Nathan. He only looked like Nathan, but he is another person and he can’t be compared to him.”

Now, J.R. faced Martin and said, “What are you trying to say, Kuya?”

“That he doesn’t only loves you; you love him also, am I right?”

The question felt like an arrow that pierced J.R.’s chest. Can her brother be right with what he is talking about?

“No, I--” J.R. spoke but Martin followed up,

“I’m not even mad, J.R., if you love Tom. I want you to be happy, that’s all I want to say. And that’s what you should do; find him and you will find your happiness.”

J.R. let out a deep exasperated sigh. “If only it’s too easy to do, Kuya, I would’ve done it by now.”

Martin chuckled, then he stood up with the help of his cane. “Who knows, you might see him today.”

He walked towards her and she stood up, they were ready to go out.

She took his arm then said, “Be careful what you wish for, Kuya.” J.R. sassed.

\-----

The minute Tom arrived in Renovis, he already saw the long queue that leads to the Job Fair inside. One needed to get in line just to get a visitor’s pass and booth ticket.

“Damn!” He cursed as he saw that the queue leads down almost into the business plaza of Renovis; where there are a lot of cafés and small stalls of ice cream parlors and also restaurants.

Before he went into the line, he saw a small light show and music inside the convention center and that caught his attention. He walked into the entrance of the convention center but he was stopped by the security guards wearing prestigious suits that somehow made him look like he a peasant.

“Sir, do you have a visitor’s pass and booth ticket?” One of the guards that looked as mean as Mason stopped him from going in.

“Uhm, not yet. Can’t I go inside already?” Tom demanded like a child.

“No, Sir. You have to get on the queue first, then when you have a visitor’s pass and booth ticket, only then you can go inside.”

Tom wasn’t paying attention to what the guard was saying because suddenly, the program has started. An emcee had already introduced J.R. and Tom craned his neck just to get a look at her.

But he was being kept pushed out by the guard that for a moment he lost his balance and fell on his bottom. The guard then ignored him this time, but Tom tried to peer into the glass door to see J.R..

J.R. stood up and went into the podium to speak. Tom felt breathless because even from a distance, he could feel the anticipation of seeing her again.

And not only that, J.R. took his breath away with her look today. If he could only eat his heart out right away, Tom has done it already.

J.R. then started speaking, “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. First off, I want to introduce myself; My name is Julie Rose Bellegardé-Trillo, I am Sir Martin McLeod’s half sister. For those who have worked here for the past three years, they would recognize me for being Renovis’ endorser back in 2014.

“I have been in a long absence for three years; the reason why is that I got into a car accident and was comatosed for two years. I became an amnesiac for a year. But anyway, enough of that; I’m not here to talk about my past, because I’m here to talk about not only my future, but our future.”

Tom could only hear the muffled speaker that was inside the building but he fixed his gaze towards J.R. who is almost a hall away from him.

“As the new Renovis’ HR Department Head, it is my duty to ensure that the standards of hiring employees here in our company, will not just remain as the same, but to also improve. The quality of people hired will dictate the future of our corporation. But why a job fair, if you may ask; it is also for the future of our goodwill with our partners.

“The HR Department of Renovis can only hope that this event may not just help our companies, but also people who are deserving of a better professional career. Once again, good morning to all of you, and let the fair begin.”

Her speech was met with applause and there, J.R. sat back with Martin as the emcee announced other parts of the programme.

Tom stood back from the glass and the guard was still looking at him, he pointed at the queue and Tom inhaled sharply as he had no choice but to fall in line.

“Alright, alright.” Tom grumbled as he started to go over the plaza where the end of the queue is.

As soon as he got in line, he felt like something is really stopping him from even getting close to J.R..

 _Why is that now I wanted to be with J.R., everything seems just not to fall in place?_   He thought with contempt.

He crossed his arms and hoped that he won’t have to wait for long while on this queue. And this time, destiny seems to be cutting him some slack as the queue was moving quick.

 _Yes! Some good sign for the day!_  Tom rejoiced.

While on the queue, he noticed that there are somethings that have changed with J.R.. He thought that maybe J.R. is just like that because she is herself again. Her childish side is no longer noticeable now that she’s regained her memories.

He wonders, will she even acknowledge him when they see each other? Besides, she was the one who told him to stay away.

 _Heck, would I even get to talk to her amidst this big crowd? In between this ocean of people wedge between the two of us?_  Tom pondered

As he was enveloped with his thoughts, he didn’t noticed that he was almost near the booth for the ID and ticket.

Tom is now confused whether destiny is with him or not.

After a few more minutes of falling in line, he finally received his visitor’s pass and booth ticket, to which it directed him to his first booth, and incredibly, the Renovis booth. He felt his legs move into a sprint as he wanted to get there as soon as possible.

Not caring if he bumped into somebody while running towards the glass doors of the convention center, Tom got there in a minute and the guard who stopped him earlier made him pass when he saw his ID and ticket.

Tom entered the main hall and he tried to look for the directions that leads to the Renovis booth.

Inside his mind eye, he wished that he would see her there, as an interviewer, perhaps. And maybe, just maybe, she might notice him.

Tom rehearsed it in his mind on how will he act when he finally sees J.R.. Would he smile at her? Say  _Hi_? Or maybe go on ahead and ask if he could talk to her in private.

 _No, you twit, that is just insane!_ He scolded at himself, but then when he lifted his head, he was already at the Renovis booth and once again, there is a line that he needed to get on.

Tom, already feeling stupid and tired, still got on the line and waited for his turn to be interviewed and to have his resumé submitted.

His patience was almost waning, but Tom kept his cool, because there were thousands of scenarios that are still optional, but all of those were running up and down his mind as he devised how will he get to meet J.R. in person.

For him, it was like trying to get an autograph from his favorite actress. He blew out a raspberry as he stood in line.

Then out of the blue, a short man with balding red hair gave Tom a nudge at the back.

“Hey, you nitwit, I was there first. Why did you took my slot?” 

His voice almost sounded like Bugs Bunny’s that when Tom looked back, he tried to hold a giggle.

“You think I’m talking funny at ye, eh boy?” He then threatened Tom, but he was almost a few feet shorter than him that if Tom held his balding head, he won’t be able to land a punch on his body.

“I’m sorry sir, but I got here first. I’ve been in this queue for five minutes now.” Tom explained.

“You can’t fool me! I just went over to the loo and there, you’ve taken my place!” He now screamed at Tom that made other people look over at them.

“Please, sir, I was here first.” Tom now tried to stop his lips from stretching into a smile as the balding man looked like an angry _Pokémon_.

To no avail, Tom finally snickered, and there, the man grabbed him by the collar and pulled his shoulders down.

“Why you--!” The man shouted but then, they heard a security guard shout at them to break the tension between the two.

Because Tom was pulled down to the balding man’s level, he had to look up to see the people standing in front of them.

His eyes popped and his jaw dropped when he finally saw  _her_  there, standing with her arms crossed in her chest, and her eyes narrowed. But still, she looked lovelier than ever to him.

“What is this, sir, what is the squabble all about? What did this man do to you?” J.R. spoke with such authority that Tom couldn’t believe his own ears that it is J.R..

“He took my slot here in the line! He’s a one cheating arsehole and a git, for all I know.” The balding man yammered on.

But J.R. only rolled her eyes, and to end this situation, she ordered, “You can take your place now, sir. But  _you_ \--come here.” She pointed out at Tom.

Her lady boss tone was somehow scaring Tom, but he didn’t cared, that lady boss is the woman of his dreams.

“Yes, Ms. Trillo?” Tom playfully replied when he was now face to face with her.

“I will have to talk to you, personally.” Then she turned to the blonde woman with glasses on her right, “Natalie, have Mr. Hiddleston escorted to my office. I will be waiting there.”

Other applicants heard J.R. and whispered among themselves while looking at Tom.

J.R. only turned her back on Tom, but he felt like he had just been sprinkled on with fairy dust that he felt like he can fly.

She disappeared among the crowd, but Natalie now caught his attention,

“This way now, follow me.” She instructed him and Tom was led to the next building, the main building itself. He was made to surrender his visitor’s pass and booth ticket for another visitor’s pass for the main building.

Natalie escorted him to the elevators to which they got up to the 19th floor; the floor that mainly belongs to HR.

Tom could feel his heart already on his throat, ready to jump out and dance about when they arrived at the 19th floor.

He wondered, whatever J.R. wanted to talk to him about. Once again, he tried to imagine what would happen once he is in J.R.’s office. Humorously, his mind went in to naughty places where J.R. might seduce him and have her way on him above her desk.

Tom had to suppress a smile and shooed the dirty thoughts away,  _  
_

 _No brain, please, not those kind of thoughts._ Tom thought.

He was led into an office with cubicles ranging from corner to corner, there, Natalie said, “Welcome to Renovis’ Human Resources Department.”

Natalie walked beyond him and Tom only followed her into the labyrinth-like office that he swore they took one or more turns that lead them nowhere J.R.’s office.

He once thought that she may only be misguiding him, but once they took the last turn, Tom saw the door to J.R.’s office.

“You can go in; wait for Ms. Trillo inside.” Natalie instructed, then Tom went in.

The interior of J.R.’s office felt like a museum for everything that represents beauty; Tom sighed at the sight of the white marble floors, the cream-colored couches and seats, and also, her wide desk made out of glass.

Behind her desk were the bookshelves and stands where framed photographs sat quietly but were very much noticeable from afar.

He approached the stand carefully and saw for the first time a photograph of Cassandra and Robert. J.R. looked exactly like the mixture of those two good-looking people; then his attention went to the other framed picture, it is a photograph of a young Martin, no older than 20, and a 12 year old J.R..

Martin was leaning on his cane while J.R. held his arm and they were both laughing when the picture was taken.

Out of all those pictures, he tried to look for at least one photograph of Nathan; but there was none. Suddenly  he wondered why J.R. would not have a picture of him.

Before he could think more about that thought, J.R. entered the room and she saw him standing over the photos. This seemed not to have caught his attention, and so, J.R. cleared her throat and,

“Mr. Hiddleston, please, if you are done ogling at my family; you can sit now.” And she pointed out the seat in front of her desk that very much looked like he was going to be interviewed for a job.

Tom tried to act  _formal_  as he quietly sat in front of her desk. J.R. took her seat after a while, then, her eyes darted towards him that made him feel a little bit terrified.

He only stared back for a minute when J.R. raised an eyebrow, “Are we just going to stare at each other or are you going to hand me your CV?”

His senses were alarmed and he clumsily fished out the transparent folder that contained his CV. After handing it out to J.R., she quickly flipped it over and read the part of his job experience.

J.R. was only quiet as she read on, but Tom craned his head up to see which part she was reading. 

Without looking up at him, she said, “So, the last work you had was in a modelling agency? Then you graduated from _London Metropolitan University_ with a degree in Psychology-- but you haven’t worked for any other company after that. Why is that?”

There, both of their eyes met; she was studying him, but Tom could only stare back at her. He knows to himself that he have missed her terribly. If only he could say it to her out loud, but the way she acted made him feel queasy.

“I-- I became an escort after the modelling agency.” Tom told it simply as that.

“And besides that, you had no other professional work whatsoever?” J.R. inquired.

“No. Just that.”

J.R. then shifted on her seat and sighed. She couldn’t keep on the charade, she knew that she had to ask him the question she really wanted to ask him.

“Why are you here, Tom?” J.R. then placed down his CV and her pen on the desk.

Tom now shifted in his seat and answered as earnest as he can, “To apply for a job. There’s a job fair today, ain’t it?”

She waved her hands off and said, “Don’t get smart with me, please, why are you really here? No-- Let me ask you the real question; why did you returned the payment my Kuya gave you?”

He could feel her confusion underneath the strict facade, but he just doesn’t get why she needed to know that.

“Because I didn’t needed the money. I did the job he offered me, because I wanted to do it not for the financial part. I realized that after everything.”

J.R.’s brows furrowed, then she got up from her chair and stood closer to Tom.

“Seriously? What do you think you are doing when you took the job? Charity? Out of your kind heart, you just did it?”

“I wasn’t worthy of that payment. I never was.” Tom sighed.

“Could you just tell me the truth _why_  you did it? Was that a stunt or something?” J.R. couldn’t help it but her the tone of her voice became higher. She just wanted to know the truth; or maybe, she was afraid of knowing the truth from him. 

He looked up to her, with his baby-blue eyes looked like it was begging for her,  “Not because of that--”

But she spoke out, “What then?”

“Because I love you!” Tom let it slip out, and that made him rouse from his seat.

J.R. had to hold on to the desk behind her when she heard those words from him, but he kept on,

“Why are you doubting me? Like you are saying that it’s impossible for me to love you? I gave back the money because I didn’t wanted it to be like you were just some common client to me. And you were never a client to me, J.R., you were something else and more.”

The passion laced within his words felt like it had reached out for J.R., that she now tried to suppress herself from embracing him.

 _This can’t be. He couldn’t be this honest. It’s impossible._  She thought.

Tom then went for his bag and tried to dig out a medium-sized journal. When he got it out, he handed it to her but J.R. hesitated from getting it from him.

“This is a journal I wrote while we were traveling together. I wrote everything I can write, every entry was about you and even when I’m with you. If you still doubt me, even though I have worked my way through this job fair just to see you again; read it. You’ll know that I’m not lying, I do really love you, but I doubted myself because you’re way out of my league.

“What could I do at that time, J.R.? I’m just a gigolo; an escort. You were everything I ever wanted and I was just nothing.”

J.R. finally reached out for it and took it from his hands. Her eyes felt like watering but she tried to stop herself from crying.

Tom felt his heart had broken into two; he never knew that J.R. could say those things to him. Somehow he wishes, they were back to the time they first met, when everything were just simpler.

“I think I’m not up to work here or be interviewed by you. I’ve already been judged. But if you wanted to know how I really feel for you, until now-- read my journal.”

He left the room and closed the door loud and quickly.

J.R. could only her heart drum out loudly, and she felt the leather of the journal on her fingertips.

 _Maybe he is right. Maybe it is love. But what about I feel?_  She pondered.

She took a deep breath and opened the journal. The pages opened to the night that they stargazed under the Moroccan skies; how Tom withheld himself from kissing her, but wrote down how much he wanted to.

Then, she flipped it at the beginning, there she saw a list that Tom had checked already, but one was left unchecked.

It said;  _  
_

_1\. Make the trip to Palawan  
_

_2\. Then to Paris  
_

_3\. Lastly, to  Morocco_

_4\. Go to the ‘Pink House’_

_5\. Tell J.R. I love her then..._

From #1 to #4, they were all checked; but #5 was not yet done.

J.R. felt something deep within her, like something had awakened in her. She felt brave and touched, and that she knew she had to be, if she doesn’t want to lose Tom.

Out of a sudden, she hastily placed down the journal on her desk and felt her feet step up into a sprint as she opened her door.

J.R. looked left and right to see if Tom was still there, but he was gone already.

Her breath quickened as she felt the panic stab her in the chest. Her feet still continued running over the corridor and into the maze of cubicles.

If anybody saw her, they might just think that their boss is running wild and crazy all over the office.

But, Tom was nowhere to be found and she had asked a few people if ever they saw a tall and handsome man pass by. The only answer she got was a  _no_ , and it only made her panic more.

 _No, Tom. You can’t go just like that. I need to be with you, and you need to be mine._  J.R.’s mind only repeated those words over and over again.

Little did she know, Tom is standing and waiting for the elevator lift to pass by the 19th floor. But every time the door would open, it would be too crowded for him to get on.

And so, he stood there, with his shoulders slumped down and his hands on his pocket, while remembering the scene earlier.

_Why is she doubting me? Couldn’t she see right through me? Or maybe it’s just that I never stood a chance from the beginning?_

This made Tom sigh with grief. He could already hear their sympathies and see the look of pitying in their faces when he gets home.

He shook his head, trying to dismiss those thoughts. It was no use for him anymore; he tried and there he knew that some things are just impossible.

The elevator door opened but it was crammed with too much people going up. Tom cringe at the elevator attendant; he was not going inside and he is not going to jam himself in that elevator, just like he is not going to stick himself in to J.R.’s life because she had evidently made it clear that she doesn’t want him in her life.

Tom tried to smile, “No thanks, I’ll take the stairs.”

And there he left the spot he had kept for minutes and he started going down the stairs.

After a while, J.R., running as fast as she can while wearing heels, reached the elevator doors. She immediately pressed the down button, but the elevator lift is still at the 25th floor and was slowly making its way down to the 19th.

“Come on, come on. I need to get down!” She impatiently muttered as she watched the LED screen of the floor indicator.

The elevator doors opened and a mechanical ding went up; but when the doors opened, it was full of event organizers or assistants that are busy for the event at the convention center.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am, the lift is full.” The attendant told her, but it was not the time for her to be moving slow, and so,

“No! All of you out, I have to go down; it’s official business!” were the only thing she could say but she saw all of them had a look of surprise and shock.

The people inside went out, one by one; her alibi worked and now they are quickly going down to the ground floor.

As she impatiently watched the numbers on the screen, she could already imagine Tom, leaving the premises; taking a taxi back home.

She might just look for his home address and talk to him then, but she could not let him go today without telling him what she really feels for him. And that she also need to apologize for everything hurtful that she may have told him.

When she reached the ground floor, she went to the security station and informed the guards to look out for a man named Tom Hiddleston and not let him leave Renovis.

 _Tom, where are you?_  J.R. worriedly thought as her eyes searched everywhere.

Meanwhile, Tom wound up at the business plaza and saw a gelato store.

 _A little sweetness wouldn’t be that bad, when all I’ve got from her is bitterness._ He thought to himself and there he snickered. Maybe he is just comforting himself.

He went in and saw that the place had only two or three customers who ate their gelato at their tables.

Tom chose the chocolate truffle flavor on the biggest cup to which he chose to eat it outside. He found a lonely spot near the veranda, a few steps of stairs where he can sit.

 

“Ma’am, we couldn’t find Mr. Hiddleston, He’s not here in the building.” a security personnel,  ** _Handel_** , informed J.R..

“Did anyone looked near the convention center or the business plaza?” J.R. asked him then he paused,

“No, Ma’am. Not yet.” He replied sternly.

“Well then, we’ll look for him there.” J.R. demanded, but Handel asked her,

“ _We_ , Ma’am?”

J.R. eyed him, “I’ll come with you to look for Mr. HIddleston. It’s your top priority to find him, and also mine’s.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Handel cooperatively answered.

They started making their way into the convention center, but J.R. decided to split up and she will lead a team to look for Tom at the business plaza.

It was already high noon, and the summer sun is bright and shinning over J.R., whom had a few bullets of sweat on her forehead.

Her dress was beginning to be itchy because she had walked over a few yards from the main building to the business plaza. Her feet are now aching and her knees felt wobbly. But she didn’t cared, the only thing she needed to do is to find Tom, and she doesn’t care anymore if she could get blisters on her feet.

When they arrived at the business plaza, she instructed the team of security personnel to split up once more, and that she would do her own searching.

J.R. found the dining stalls and stores, she searched how and low for Tom; whether he might be sitting alone on one of the restaurants or maybe standing next to the gelato store.

She felt desperate, and she wanted to scold herself for letting Tom go when he’s already there in front of her.

J.R. had to sit for a while as she can feel the tiresome search had already gotten into her.

She saw a veranda with a few stairs to sit upon, but when she finally got near it, she saw a man sitting there and eating a gelato, all by himself.

His blond hair and daddy-long-legs was just enough for J.R. to know that it is Tom.

She had no time to waste, J.R. ran to his side and called him, “Tom!”

He was sure that the voice that had screamed for his name is J.R., and it is not the gelato or his imagination.

Tom slowly turned his head back to see who called him, and he was not wrong at all. His eyes widened as he saw her with the frantic look on her face and a little bit haggard all over.

Tom knew the best response; he turned his head around and ignored J.R. He might just play a little hard-to-get this time.

J.R. bit her lip in anguish, and there, she stood right in front of him.

“Thomas Hiddleston, I called you!” She shouted at him while her hands were on her waist.

“There’s no need to shout, Ms. Trillo! Here, you want some gelato?” Tom invitingly offered her the gelato, but J.R. had only her brows in a furrow.

“Are you kidding me?” J.R. finally replied.

“Nope, not one bit. So, what are you doing here? You thought I already left didn’t you?” Tom teased her as he took another spoonful of gelato in his mouth.

“No. I wanted to ask you something-- that checklist in your journal... What did you wanted to do after telling me that you love me?”

Tom smiled mischievously and there, he stood up, now leveling with her gaze.

“That’s my secret. Why would I tell you that?” He then pouted at her, and he knew that she couldn’t keep another minute in a straight composure because of his teasing.

“Besides, there’s no reason anymore to let you know what I wanted to do so I could check that out of the list.” Tom scooped a big portion of the gelato and tried once again to offer it to J.R., “You sure you don’t want some? It’s good, it’s chocolate truffle.”

J.R. could only purse her lips and side-eye him, but Tom extended his hand that holds the spoon so she could reach for the gelato.

She shrugged off the pressure and then she ate the gelato on the spoon. The sweetness of the gelato and the dryness of her throat didn’t agreed to each other that she gave out a loud cough. Tom patted her shoulder and settled the cup down

When she swallowed down the sweetness, she started talking, “Tom, I want to say sorry. I really am sorry for I have said to you earlier. I want to apologize for ever doubting you... I don’t know why I doubted you; maybe it’s just that I was afraid-- I don’t know with what, but I was just scared.”

Tom loosened the teasing face and his eyes softened. She was looking through his soul, and he knew he had to listen for what she has to say.

“I was scared that I might lose you if I let you in. As you can see, it’s a tragic truth that some of the people I love are not here anymore.”

J.R. looked away and a tear-drop fell from her eye, but she continued, “But, that’s not really the point that I’m trying to get to-- What I’m trying to say is that I want to move on now, and Nathan told me so. You may not be Nathan, but you’re very much different from him--and now, I want to know you this time.

“Can you help me with that, Tom?” J.R. smiled at him.

Tom felt his chest heave and his lip tremble. Maybe, some things are not that too late, or too soon.

“I will help you with anything, Julie Rose, anything. I’ll even lend a hand so you could find your way into my arms.” He endearingly replied.

There, Tom reached for J.R.’s hand and placed over his heart; he also had tears in his eyes by that time, tears of wonderful joy.

J.R. sniffled as she took a step closer to him. Tom then placed a hand on her waist, pulling her into his body.

“Would you like to know what I would do after I tell you that I love you?” Tom’s mellifluous tone melted her right there and then, but she managed to say,

“What? What are you going to do?” J.R. looked up to him, her face just a few inches away from his.

“I will tell you that I love you, _then_ , I will kiss you.”

J.R.’s lips stretched out into a wide smile, “It’s about damn time you check that out from your list, then.”

She closed her eyes and leaned up to meet his lips.

J.R. couldn't be more sure than this, and it is no brainer that she wants to be with Tom, and so does he.

For the very first time, Tom kissed J.R., and he swore that he could feel the butterflies in his stomach flutter stronger than before, that the fireworks in his mind-eye had just went off and everything felt so much brighter than ever.

When Tom let J.R. go for a while, she added, “Wait, you haven’t told me  _directly_  that you love me.”

“Nah, I  _do_  more than I  _say_ , baby.” Tom sweetly teased and there, J.R. giggled.

But for the second time around, she pulled him to a longer kiss.

For Tom and J.R., it was definitely a wild roller coaster ride of fake brain diseases, malevolent nurses, and terrifying cliff-sides.

Though, they could say, the road still smooths out in the end. And it isn’t just one smooth way, it was the sweetest; the greatest, and the most self-discovering end.

There is no looking back for Tom, no fear for J.R.; just loving each other is what they could only know. 

It didn’t mattered whoever they are in the past; what they value the most is who they will be in the present and the future, and that is  _together._

 

 

**_END._ **


End file.
